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Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

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Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#271

Post by eyelidlessness »

unicornfinder wrote: post #188
throwaway389983 wrote: post #174

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same story. Founder, early 30s, a couple kids, just got diagnosed last year. Life-changing. Loved the Suster blog posts you linked. The book I liked was "A New Understanding of ADHD in Children and Adults".

As someone who highly suspects they may have ADHD, how was the diagnosis life changing? Was it through medication, or simply through understanding yourself better?

For me it’s been both.

Not to put aside the medication… it’s made me feel more like a normal functioning human capable of existing in a world. I don’t want to overemphasize this though because, while it saved my life, the other part made my life feel worth saving.

I’ve learned in the last couple years that almost all of the things I struggle with trace back to ADHD. My inability to take care of myself and my surroundings without fooling myself with rewards; my cognitive impairments around sensory issues; my endless stream of damaged friendships because I can’t respond to texts or emails or whatever; my whole upbringing of incompatible disappointments because my whole family probably has the same brain. So many things have an explanation even if it’s too late to correct a lot of it. And having an explanation has been immeasurably valuable.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#272

Post by eyelidlessness »

borski wrote: post #192
unicornfinder wrote: post #188

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who highly suspects they may have ADHD, how was the diagnosis life changing? Was it through medication, or simply through understanding yourself better?

Both; but honestly, the latter was more important. Simply having a name for the reasons why, no matter how hard I tried and no matter how much I really, genuinely, truly wanted to, there were certain things I just couldn't do... that alone was extremely relieving. And infuriating. And vindicating. But mostly, genuinely relieving. I was able to accept that I wasn't an incompetent fool, incapable of being useful - I ha…

This also goes to rejection sensitivity which is also common in ADHD. Because we’re overly aware of our failures, we’re also likely to have outsized reactions to reasonable criticism… restarting the same vicious cycle.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#273

Post by cryptnotic »

IncRnd wrote: post #247
nebula8804 wrote: post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What did you do to solve it? I recently saw this Reddit post [1] and immediately booked an appointment with my doctor. He gave me the run around and asked me to book a 15 min call with another doctor to get an anxiety assessment. As soon as the call began they asked if I felt like I had ADHD. I said maybe and they stopped and said that they only diagnose anxiety. Now I am 200$ poorer(thanks American healthcare) and a…

> As soon as the call began they asked if I felt like I had ADHD. I said maybe and they stopped and said that they only diagnose anxiety. What they really meant is that their business is optimized for prescribing certain medications with the same diagnosis and same spiel given to every patent conversation.

An ADHD diagnosis needs to be done by a neuropsychologist, who usually has a Ph.D. and specific board certifications. An anxiety disorder diagnosis is usually done by a psychiatrist, who is a doctor with an M.D. and specific psychiatry certifications.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#274

Post by eyelidlessness »

kdkdkskdn wrote: post #190
unicornfinder wrote: post #188

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As someone who highly suspects they may have ADHD, how was the diagnosis life changing? Was it through medication, or simply through understanding yourself better?

Yeah seriously, what's the secret? I'm 32 and I was diagnosed when I was 20 but the drugs make me anorexic and mute my personality and knowing I have ADHD has not proven particularly useful, especially given that I already knew my tendencies and behaviors and had long since developing coping strategies The only way my life changed when I was diagnosed was that I got paid for the study I had signed up for, which requi…

How often do you discuss how meds are working for you? If you feel muted you might be undermedicated. Your doctor should know that you’re reacting this way and if they don’t take it seriously they’re probably not a good fit.

When I was undermedicated I was literally falling asleep at random, and had basically no emotional response to almost anything. Getting closer to where I should be over the last few months has made a world of difference.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#275

Post by gigatexal »

borski wrote: post #150

Read up a bit on ADHD. That 'hyperfocus' that occurs either with deadlines or on a passion project is a symptom, as is the inability to get excited about projects you simply don't want to do - especially given your otherwise positive reviews and your ability to clear your mind and hyperfocus near a deadline, it's something to consider. I was diagnosed at 33, and it changed my life infinitely for the better. YMMV, and…

Shit this explains me at work the last couple of months. I might have ADHD. Time to go see a doctor. Thank you!

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#276

Post by brailsafe »

borski wrote: post #150

Read up a bit on ADHD. That 'hyperfocus' that occurs either with deadlines or on a passion project is a symptom, as is the inability to get excited about projects you simply don't want to do - especially given your otherwise positive reviews and your ability to clear your mind and hyperfocus near a deadline, it's something to consider. I was diagnosed at 33, and it changed my life infinitely for the better. YMMV, and…

ADHD is interesting, but it's not really a superpower. It's a superpower in retrospect if you've already found a way to be successful with it, but it's not really something I've found that can be deliberately applied to succeed at things that other people have an easier time with. For me it also helps in areas that I've seen other people struggle in, but I think the key is in how intentionally you can apply yourself. So if you're already a Nat Geo Photographer or professional basejumper, you might look back after a diagnosis and think "that makes sense", but I don't think it would help me get there.

What seems at least somewhat true, is that if you're a person who can be employed arbitrarily and can connect your income directly to things that bring you value, you'll have an easier time in a capitalistic society than someone who needs to derive their motivation from the things they do all the time; with the exception of someone who is exceptionally talented and just falls into success as a consequence of the output of what they've been fixating on.

I'm a software developer I guess, which gives me a hypothetically high earning potential. But over the last 10 years, someone working a menial job for 30-40k would come out on top financially. I've had a hell of a lot more free-time than that person, which is very personally valuable, but it doesn't scale maybe even over more than one decade with such a tattered work history.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#277

Post by borski »

borski wrote: post #242
meej wrote: post #221

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes yes yes to all of this! I was fortunate to have a local medical school with a psychiatry department that has an Adult ADHD clinic where I could seek a diagnosis at the age of 42. Unlike many adults who suspect they have ADHD, I was taken seriously and did not encounter any skepticism on the part of my healthcare providers. I even expressed concern that my problem could be anxiety or depression instead, and my psy…

I’ve been meaning to read that! Also, this post is spot-on. 100.

Re-reading this thread, and "I’ve been meaning to read that!" is adorable given the context, in retrospect hahaha

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#278

Post by darkerside »

astrange wrote: post #255
TrackerFF wrote: post #214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

With ADHD, for many it's nigh on impossible to get focused, no mater how high the stakes are - to the point where it seems extremely irresponsible and downright irrational to normal observers. Imagine that almost everything in your life, is the equivalent of starting on a test/exam 2 hours before the deadline, even though you've had a week or two to finish it.

The problem with ADHD is that it applies to everything in your life, not just work. You're equally unable to do chores, hobbies, have fun, or even finish watching a TV series. Actually, they're even harder to do than work because there's no pressure on you to keep up with it.

These all seem like normal human activities to me, tbh

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#279

Post by IncRnd »

cryptnotic wrote: post #273
IncRnd wrote: post #247

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> As soon as the call began they asked if I felt like I had ADHD. I said maybe and they stopped and said that they only diagnose anxiety. What they really meant is that their business is optimized for prescribing certain medications with the same diagnosis and same spiel given to every patent conversation.

An ADHD diagnosis needs to be done by a neuropsychologist, who usually has a Ph.D. and specific board certifications. An anxiety disorder diagnosis is usually done by a psychiatrist, who is a doctor with an M.D. and specific psychiatry certifications.

Thank you. However, I'm not sure that is correct.

  There are several types of professionals who typically diagnose ADHD. These include: physicians (especially psychiatrists, pediatricians, neurologists), psychologists, social workers, nurse practitioners, and other licensed counselors or therapists (e.g. professional counselors, marriage and family therapists, etc.). [1]

  Some examples of professionals who are capable of diagnosing ADHD include: pediatricians, psychiatrists, family physicians, nurse practitioners, psychologists, psychotherapists. [2]
[1] https://chadd.org/about-adhd/professionals-who-diagnose-and-...

[2] https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/adhd-doctor

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#280

Post by walterlb »

borski wrote: post #150

Read up a bit on ADHD. That 'hyperfocus' that occurs either with deadlines or on a passion project is a symptom, as is the inability to get excited about projects you simply don't want to do - especially given your otherwise positive reviews and your ability to clear your mind and hyperfocus near a deadline, it's something to consider. I was diagnosed at 33, and it changed my life infinitely for the better. YMMV, and…

This was very helpful. Thank you
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