Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#221

Post by meej » Tue, Jun 22, 2021, 10:27 PM UTC

borski wrote: post #202

nebula8804 wrote: post #198

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What did you do to solve it? I recently saw this Reddit post [1] and immediately booked an appointment with my doctor. He gave me the run around and asked me to book a 15 min call with another doctor to get an anxiety assessment. As soon as the call began they asked if I felt like I had ADHD. I said maybe and they stopped and said that they only diagnose anxiety. Now I am 200$ poorer(thanks American healthcare) and a…

You'll never "solve" it; you learn to manage it. I've had fantastic experiences with donefirst.com, but also chadd.org is a great website with tons of resources. Don't give up on the medication; finding the right one and right dosage is extremely helpful for many people with ADHD, myself included. The most important part is: find an expert. Child psychologists/psychiatrists often have a ton of experience with ADHD, a…

Yes yes yes to all of this!

I was fortunate to have a local medical school with a psychiatry department that has an Adult ADHD clinic where I could seek a diagnosis at the age of 42. Unlike many adults who suspect they have ADHD, I was taken seriously and did not encounter any skepticism on the part of my healthcare providers. I even expressed concern that my problem could be anxiety or depression instead, and my psychiatrist said "If you have undiagnosed ADHD, of course you're going to be anxious and depressed." Find the most expert ADHD person you can for diagnosis and prescribing medication, I really think this is key.

I also agree on not giving up on medication, I had to try three before I found one that worked without also having negative side effects. There's at least one other one I'd like to try, mostly out of curiosity.

I've worked with both a therapist with ADHD expertise and an ADHD coach. My therapist helps me accept my ADHD brain, my coach helps me figure out how to work with it instead of against it. I agree coaching is more helpful but it works best if you can accept the way your brain works instead of trying to fight or change it, so seeing a therapist first to work through that might be a good idea.

I've been listening to a lot of ADHD audiobooks lately. The one I've liked best so far is Nancy Ratey's _The Disorganized Mind_ -- she has ADHD herself and she's the wife of John Ratey, co-author of Driven to Distraction. She kind of invented ADHD coaching and the book is about how to coach yourself.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#222

Post by meej » Tue, Jun 22, 2021, 10:29 PM UTC

williamtwild wrote: post #183

borski wrote: post #150

Read up a bit on ADHD. That 'hyperfocus' that occurs either with deadlines or on a passion project is a symptom, as is the inability to get excited about projects you simply don't want to do - especially given your otherwise positive reviews and your ability to clear your mind and hyperfocus near a deadline, it's something to consider. I was diagnosed at 33, and it changed my life infinitely for the better. YMMV, and…

"as is the inability to get excited about projects you simply don't want to do - " Why is this ADHD and not just being human? This sounds so basic I have a hard time believing this is because of a condition.

It's ADHD when it seriously negatively affects your quality of life.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#223

Post by meej » Tue, Jun 22, 2021, 10:31 PM UTC

borski wrote: post #150

Read up a bit on ADHD. That 'hyperfocus' that occurs either with deadlines or on a passion project is a symptom, as is the inability to get excited about projects you simply don't want to do - especially given your otherwise positive reviews and your ability to clear your mind and hyperfocus near a deadline, it's something to consider. I was diagnosed at 33, and it changed my life infinitely for the better. YMMV, and…

I'm really glad to see that this is the top comment. This was my first reaction too, sounds a lot like ADHD.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#224

Post by LouisSayers » Tue, Jun 22, 2021, 10:32 PM UTC

I'm guessing it's a spectrum in terms of "slacking off" at work. Like yourself I'm quite productive with my work and feel like I can accomplish the same amount in 30 minutes as some others can in a single day.

This gives me wiggle room, working from home I'll take a longer break at lunch, going for a walk after eating and I like to read up on tech news etc as well.

I wouldn't say I do the bare minimum, but I also have a strong sense of not letting people down.

That being said I'm quitting my job as I'm not super motivated by the work and have a side project that I get joy out of every time I touch it.

One thing to think about in terms of slacking off is what you're getting besides money in terms of the work you're doing. I suspect that if you aren't getting much personal growth from the work then it's easy to see how you'd be unmotivated to put in more than the bare minimum. In which case you might want to change job / project etc and work on something you feel will allow you to grow.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#225

Post by tspike » Tue, Jun 22, 2021, 10:32 PM UTC

degrews wrote: post #136

meowface wrote: post #99

This is exactly why I've concluded trying to go my own way is the best long-term plan for me. Before learning about YC and HN and such, the thought never really occurred to me. When I'm working on a personal project I'm really passionate about, my productivity is literally orders of magnitude higher than at any day job I've had. Months or years are compressed into days. For any ambitious personal project that I'm int…

> This is exactly why I've concluded trying to go my own way is the best long-term plan for me. Before learning about YC and HN and such, the thought never really occurred to me. Interesting. It also didn't really occur to me that being an employee might just not be for me, until I read this comment on HN over a year ago https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22520709 . Although the reasoning is a somewhat different fr…

I'd love to do that, but health insurance in the US makes it a nonstarter.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#226

Post by Smaug123 » Tue, Jun 22, 2021, 10:35 PM UTC

tibbydudeza wrote: post #141

macu wrote: post #107

I work 7-hour days, but I might work 2 or 3 hours during that time. A lot of the time I find the work unbearable and can only bring myself to do it in short intervals. When the task is interesting, involves my skills, and I'm making progress, I can work for hours with almost no breaks. It really is an emotional thing. I won't force myself to do anything that is really painful because it ruins my mood for the whole da…

It is impossible to work 7 hours a day.

That's a rather blanket statement. Depends on the work! I have certainly had paid employment where I frequently just sat down at 8am, programmed and programmed, realised about 3pm that I hadn't eaten yet, and stopped for a break. It would never happen in the office, but it happened quite regularly early on in the pandemic-induced WFH (thanks to me happening to be on the right project to allow it).

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#227

Post by EricBurnett » Tue, Jun 22, 2021, 10:40 PM UTC

uh_uh wrote: post #175

masukomi wrote: post #171

Earlier quoted context omitted.

it's not about not getting excited. It's the result of being "not excited". Neurotypicals can work on things that are uninteresting to them. ADHD people can sit there yelling at themselves to "do the thing" that they _know_ they need to do and still be completely incapable of starting regardless of how "easy" it is to actually do it once something forces them to actually start. this video does a good job of explainin…

> ADHD people can sit there yelling at themselves to "do the thing" that they _know_ they need to do and still be completely incapable of starting regardless of how "easy" it is to actually do it once something forces them to actually start. I also do this. Even worse: the easier and hence duller the task seems, the more difficult it is to get started on it. Once I do start on it and finish 5 minutes later, I need a…

That's actually a strategy recommended to ADHD folk: do 20m of engaging "fun" to prepare yourself for 5m of forced boring activity. Think of it as recharging a reservoir of $tolerance before draining it to power some boring activity.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#228

Post by throwaway389983 » Tue, Jun 22, 2021, 10:41 PM UTC

unicornfinder wrote: post #188

throwaway389983 wrote: post #174

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same story. Founder, early 30s, a couple kids, just got diagnosed last year. Life-changing. Loved the Suster blog posts you linked. The book I liked was "A New Understanding of ADHD in Children and Adults".

As someone who highly suspects they may have ADHD, how was the diagnosis life changing? Was it through medication, or simply through understanding yourself better?

There's a bunch of reasons. None by itself is life-changing, but together they make a big difference.

- Awareness. Sometimes, I notice, "oh, I'm feeling distracted right now." Or, "I'm feeling bored right now." Once I notice, I can avoid doing the unhelpful next thing I was going to do.

- Medication. It does help with focus and context-switching, especially on days I have to do a number of medium-size boring tasks. I probably take it every other day.

- Being present. More present with kids when I'm on medication. My wife says I'm less impatient.

- Self-acceptance. That's why I love Mark Suster's posts. He's open that his ADHD makes him a talented entrepreneur and a terrible employee. I have a different temperament than Mark but feel similarly. I used to feel ashamed of a couple of character traits. I don't anymore. This is who I am.

- My tribe. When I look around at close friends and acquaintances, other founders I know including some you've probably heard of -- a ton of them have ADHD too. An employee at our startup has expressed that he's going to start his own startup fairly soon. I was talking to his manager about it and said, effectively: "of course he is. He's brilliant and a bit ADHD. He's got founder genes."

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#229

Post by Sophistifunk » Tue, Jun 22, 2021, 10:43 PM UTC

uh_uh wrote: post #170

borski wrote: post #150

Read up a bit on ADHD. That 'hyperfocus' that occurs either with deadlines or on a passion project is a symptom, as is the inability to get excited about projects you simply don't want to do - especially given your otherwise positive reviews and your ability to clear your mind and hyperfocus near a deadline, it's something to consider. I was diagnosed at 33, and it changed my life infinitely for the better. YMMV, and…

Isn't it just rational not to get excited about boring stuff that is rewarded by a fix monetary ceiling? Economically it completely makes sense: why put more energy into something that yields the same result either way? Or maybe I have ADHD too.

There's a big gap between finding the work you're actually doing kinda boring, and the massive effort required for me (the narration which believes itself to be the executive) to make progress of any kind at all when the rest of my internal processes don't feel like playing ball. Even with meds.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#230

Post by garciasn » Tue, Jun 22, 2021, 10:44 PM UTC

nebula8804 wrote: post #198

borski wrote: post #150

Read up a bit on ADHD. That 'hyperfocus' that occurs either with deadlines or on a passion project is a symptom, as is the inability to get excited about projects you simply don't want to do - especially given your otherwise positive reviews and your ability to clear your mind and hyperfocus near a deadline, it's something to consider. I was diagnosed at 33, and it changed my life infinitely for the better. YMMV, and…

What did you do to solve it? I recently saw this Reddit post [1] and immediately booked an appointment with my doctor. He gave me the run around and asked me to book a 15 min call with another doctor to get an anxiety assessment. As soon as the call began they asked if I felt like I had ADHD. I said maybe and they stopped and said that they only diagnose anxiety. Now I am 200$ poorer(thanks American healthcare) and a…

Lexapro made me feel like I was on the come up for LSD or MDMA for the first two weeks I took it. It was, for lack of better explanation, as if I were plugged into an electric socket.

After the first two weeks or so, things evened out and I felt much more normal but all of the good things Lexapro brought to me remained. This, from my understanding, is normal and you simply did not give your body/mind enough time to adjust to the dosage.