Ask HN: Advices for Burnout and Depression?

Thanks for clicking. I hope I won't waste your time.

It's been some time since I've been struggling with depression. But something else happened for the last two months. I quit my job due to burnout. I couldn't handle the stress anymore and I felt it was a really toxic place.

Fast forward today... I'm still depressed and I still retained many addictions (porn, internet, smartphone, eating at late hours, excessive amounts of coffee) I have developed during this pandemic and working from home.

I still need to get a job eventually, but my brain doesn't let me have a break. I just feel guilty most of the time. If I try to sleep in the afternoon I still wake up panicked about where my life is going.

I tried practicing leetcode lately but I tend to panic and have feelings of guilt when I don't seem to know something trivial. I feel like I've become just a dumber version of myself while having a salary.

For the last 5 years I've been coding in C++. I simply don't want to see CMake anymore. I feel like I missed a lot of exciting stuff in other fields such as Data Science, ML, Cloud computing while I was just looking at compiler flags and treating signals, not even doing embedded, just system programming. I've been looking into Python and Go lately for a change, but I don't feel any real motivation.

Thanks for reading. I really could use some advice. I'm sorry if I wasted your time.

Go outside regurarily, exercise would be best.

Techwise i think that Go is a good idea if you are coming from C++ and want to get into cloud and web stuff.

Instead of leetcode i would try to create a small tool involving 2 technologies that is manageable to create in a few days. Finishing something feels very good and the positive feedback can get you into a positive loop.

good advice.

to some extent we're all collections of habits - some helpful, some not so much. if there's a new habit that might be helpful to form (for me one is going for a 1+ hour walk in the sunshine every day - ideally 3 hours or so - unplugged from technology) then you can try it out. focus on making small incremental improvements. a few weeks or months of incremental improvements build up over time. one step at a time.

Can I suggest the obvious? Therapy. We developers try to believe that everything that goes through us is rational, but it could be that unprocessed emotions are clouding your mind and making things harder for you. A Therapist might have trouble with computers but understands emotions very well and might help you to understand what you want and what really bothers you.

It is very hard to go through this alone and they can be the helping hand for us. If you have very good relationship with your family, partner or friends, that can be helpful as well, as long as it is positive and you feel heard. It is normal to also hit roadblocks and end up in a similar situation as you, having the right support should help you to cross this path.

Another thing I've noticed is that you have a big tendency to depreciate yourself and have extremely high expectations for you. Leetcode problems are hard and many trival things(like remembering how to calculate a median) isn't something everybody remember. You don't need to know it all. Also to receive a salary you don't need to be the very best of your field, you just need to do some work and your part. We aren't robots.

I am also having a hard time during the pandemic, if you feel like talking feel free to reach me out. I actually envy a lot C++ devs and their flags even though I know "cloud computing" ;-).