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Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

smithsonianmag.com

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Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#221

Post by bcrosby95 »

dr_orpheus wrote: post #86
Hitton wrote: post #9

> When older people say, “This is the best time of your life, enjoy it while you can,” that’s a form of abuse. I guess that these days anything can be called "abuse".

The issue that I have seen with this phrase being used is that it is often used in response to a younger person complaining about their current life or aspects of their life. The implication of the phrase is then "well your life sucks, but it's only going to get worse". For a real life example, I knew someone who was going through some pretty serious depression in high school. Responding to which their counselor said…

Weird. I've never heard an adult tell a high schooler that it's the best time in their life. Usually people tell them it doesn't really matter (which also doesn't really help).

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#222

Post by dang »

dangerface wrote: post #41

Do they really? show them something foreign or a new technology and ask them how they feel, you will see how in control of their emotions they really are.

Please don't take HN threads into flamewar. This is a noticeable step in the direction we're trying to avoid here.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#223

Post by dang »

Hitton wrote: post #9

> When older people say, “This is the best time of your life, enjoy it while you can,” that’s a form of abuse. I guess that these days anything can be called "abuse".

"Eschew flamebait. Avoid unrelated controversies and generic tangents."

Please don't single out gratuitous provocations in an article and then copy them into the thread to complain about them. It doesn't lead to interesting discussion. Best to just leave the provocation in its native habit and find something interesting (e.g. deeper or more surprising) to talk about. If you don't find anything like that, there are plenty of other articles to read.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#224

Post by dang »

1_person wrote: post #117
marcusverus wrote: post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> but there is a huge huge gulf between "that was the best time of my life" and "this is the best time of your life. Not really. It's notional advice, offered in a spirit of kindness. You don't have to like it, but labeling it 'extremely rude at best' is absolutely infantile.

[flagged]

Whoa, you can't post like this here, and we ban accounts that do. No more of this please.

I'm sure there's legitimate experience behind the feelings but it's not a good use of this site to allow them to turn into generational flamewar, let alone violent rants.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html

Edit: it looks like you've unfortunately been breaking the site guidelines a fair bit, e.g.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27075363

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27048414

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27045856

Would you mind reviewing https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html and taking the intended spirit of the site more to heart? We'd appreciate it.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#225

Post by faeyanpiraat »

slver wrote: post #210
okareaman wrote: post #207

I'm 63 and for me the answer is simple: more self-awareness. I am aware of what thoughts my emotion is in response to. I am aware of how my emotions are cascading other emotions and triggering feelings based on memories of similar circumstances. I am aware of how my emotions are affecting the people around me and how their response is feeding back into my thoughts and feelings. Finally, with self-awareness comes the…

More reflection, sure. Experience. Humility. But also less hormones. Young people are hormone-driven action-reaction machines.

Everyone is just a machine

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#226

Post by msrenee »

dr_orpheus wrote: post #86
Hitton wrote: post #9

> When older people say, “This is the best time of your life, enjoy it while you can,” that’s a form of abuse. I guess that these days anything can be called "abuse".

The issue that I have seen with this phrase being used is that it is often used in response to a younger person complaining about their current life or aspects of their life. The implication of the phrase is then "well your life sucks, but it's only going to get worse". For a real life example, I knew someone who was going through some pretty serious depression in high school. Responding to which their counselor said…

I went through that whole thing in high school. High school was miserable. College was better but exhausting. Being an adult is way more fun.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#227

Post by pomian »

rriepe wrote: post #19

As an emotional philosopher, I've found that the emotions of guilt and pride don't stop developing until you're in your 60s. EDIT: No, really, I do philosophy, it focuses on emotion. I don't deserve downvotes for something I've worked for years on[1]. [1]: http://eristicstest.com/

Hey that was fun. I first read your page, and based on descriptions, tried to predict my result. Took test, result was close - same category(row), but other side.(column). Neato.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#228

Post by alisonkisk »

jfengel wrote: post #214

Is it even true? There is a common stereotype of "older individuals", at least in the US, as cranky and irritable. Stereotypes aren't truth, but I think we've all encountered at least some examples of this. I'm not actually sure that contradicts the article, which takes a somewhat specific view of "control". But I've just spent four years dealing with a very prominent older individual who seemed to have absolutely ze…

It's a statistical observation.

And the President/salesman/actor/demagogue is not a representative sample of psychological behavior.

Not are his "cohort" largely his own age.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#229

Post by fidesomnes »

jfengel wrote: post #214

Is it even true? There is a common stereotype of "older individuals", at least in the US, as cranky and irritable. Stereotypes aren't truth, but I think we've all encountered at least some examples of this. I'm not actually sure that contradicts the article, which takes a somewhat specific view of "control". But I've just spent four years dealing with a very prominent older individual who seemed to have absolutely ze…

> There is a common stereotype of "older individuals", at least in the US, as cranky and irritable.

For older men this is a side effect of dropping testosterone levels that decreases some small percentage point each year after age 35. They are irritable all the time because they are irritated all the time and the effects are slowly cumulative until they are irritated all the time and their temper is on a short fuse. This happens to all men and only therapy and awareness can ward off its effects.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#230

Post by alisonkisk »

philwelch wrote: post #108
hnlmorg wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think what you're describing is more down to desensitisation through exposure to stressful environments. When you're younger smaller problems seem larger because you've not been desensitised to larger problems. As you progress through life you generally experience greater stress and thus the smaller problems feel smaller. You could look at it like desensitisation to capsicum, salt, violence or pornography.

Babies in particular cry so much because whatever discomfort they’re experiencing is literally the worst thing that’s ever happened to them.

Babies cry because they can't speak or walk or open food bottles or take off their diapers.
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