Data. Older people have more data or results of data processing stored.
Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
81–90 of 288 posts
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#82> When older people say, “This is the best time of your life, enjoy it while you can,” that’s a form of abuse. I guess that these days anything can be called "abuse".
Nowadays, any simple comment can be interpreted on any extreme and everything in between. Anecdotally, in my experience, this shift is really visible for 3-4 years now. I don't know what changed in these recent years or what caused that shift to become so drastic (again, in my experience). Internet gave a stage to these interpretation even though they were there previously in low volume. But even on the internet, thi…
My pet theory that fits the timeline pretty well is that when Tumblr died and they migrated to Twitter, what was incubated and contained on Tumblr dramatically changed the demographics of twitter and became more mainstream. Most of the last few years of change have been commonplace on tumblr up to that point, but we just kind of laughed and pointed out how ridiculous it was. Now it’s the mainstream
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#83Earlier quoted context omitted.
> It's at best just extremely rude to tell someone about their own life and how they should feel about it. I have to disagree. My grandparents often have great perspectives on life situations that they readily share when relevant to the people around them. No one sees it as rude, and if they do, it’s usually because the advice hits a little too close to home. Like “when I went through my divorce…”
Yes, I am not disputing that. I am talking about the difference between giving someone advice about a situation they're in, and telling them how to feel about it. "When I was your age, I didn't appreciate certain things so I'm pointing them out to you" is really different from "this is the best time of your life" which is a statement an external observer is just not equipped to make about someone else's life.
Those two things mean the same thing in casual conversation. I'm plenty picky about rhetoric when it comes to serious debate, but I would align your view more with trying to bully people over some sense of unfairness.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#84> When older people say, “This is the best time of your life, enjoy it while you can,” that’s a form of abuse. I guess that these days anything can be called "abuse".
"Abuse" now means "offensiveness". Literally. Watering down the language a bit, I can see how a reasonable person would be mildly offended if another person told them: "you're living your life improperly". Which is, ultimately, the received message. Yes you can't get a job in your field and your relationship is trashed, but your 20s are objectively the height of many metrics in your life. So are your 30s. (Unspoken:…
Oh no, that's too mild. Things that rise to the level of "offensive" are "violence," not merely "abuse."
Tongue somewhat in cheek, of course, but I do have a friend whose claim to the "Me too" movement was that an older gentleman had called her "young lady" once.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#85The biggest change I noticed was having a kid. It’s like there’s been a process running in my head since birth called “affects me?” A few months after kiddo, there’s a new process, “affects kid?” The new process seems to have taken a third to a half of the resources the first was using. Much of what bothered me doesn’t affect the kid so I don’t care nearly as much.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#86> When older people say, “This is the best time of your life, enjoy it while you can,” that’s a form of abuse. I guess that these days anything can be called "abuse".
The issue that I have seen with this phrase being used is that it is often used in response to a younger person complaining about their current life or aspects of their life. The implication of the phrase is then "well your life sucks, but it's only going to get worse".
For a real life example, I knew someone who was going through some pretty serious depression in high school. Responding to which their counselor said something along the lines of "you shouldn't be sad, this is the best time of your life". Which was pretty devastating thing to say to someone.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#87My entirely unscientific theory is that like other cells, we're born with a limited number of fucks in our body. When we're young, we (instinctively, subconsciously) feel like our fucks reserves are plentiful, so we give a fuck about a lot of stuff. As we get older, our reservoir of fucks gets progressively depleted. The fucks are rarer, so we give a fuck less and less often. I've recently turned 40 and I can definit…
Careful, your radical theory could spawn a new cottage industry of snake oils! Fuck restorative juice blends and creams, fuck focusing crystals, a Gwyneth Paltrow book on giving clean fucks so as to not overly deplete your limited reserve of fuck giving.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#88> When older people say, “This is the best time of your life, enjoy it while you can,” that’s a form of abuse. I guess that these days anything can be called "abuse".
"Abuse" now means "offensiveness". Literally. Watering down the language a bit, I can see how a reasonable person would be mildly offended if another person told them: "you're living your life improperly". Which is, ultimately, the received message. Yes you can't get a job in your field and your relationship is trashed, but your 20s are objectively the height of many metrics in your life. So are your 30s. (Unspoken:…
> "Abuse" now means "offensiveness". Literally.
It seems this watering down of language was systemic and intentful. I'd love to know what generations, geographies, and cultures are afflicted most by this.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#89My entirely unscientific theory is that like other cells, we're born with a limited number of fucks in our body. When we're young, we (instinctively, subconsciously) feel like our fucks reserves are plentiful, so we give a fuck about a lot of stuff. As we get older, our reservoir of fucks gets progressively depleted. The fucks are rarer, so we give a fuck less and less often. I've recently turned 40 and I can definit…
I don't know, under the right conditions I could give no fucks too: like financial independence. I'm sure being financially independent helps.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#90My entirely unscientific theory is that like other cells, we're born with a limited number of fucks in our body. When we're young, we (instinctively, subconsciously) feel like our fucks reserves are plentiful, so we give a fuck about a lot of stuff. As we get older, our reservoir of fucks gets progressively depleted. The fucks are rarer, so we give a fuck less and less often. I've recently turned 40 and I can definit…
This is hilarious and yet right on the money in some way.
As you get older, you start to see that everything is the same and goes through cycles. The important stuff of my childhood (ex: having clothes that were sewhar fashionable), becomes irrelevant. Who cares if I'm wearing the same style of sandals for over 20 years now? You start to focus on what's more important to you. F** are reserved for important matters like arguing on HN about the superiority of Linux :).
When you see a child have a meltdown over not having their favorite bath towel available, you start to see how widening your scope means less care for minor problems. I have no time to worry about those things as I have bigger problems (working on marriage, work due dates, educating my kid...etc). It makes one wonder how chill an immortal being would be after milennia.