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Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

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Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#191

Post by patrickmn »

bgroat wrote: post #168
playingchanges wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The last thing you wrote is something I indirectly think about quite a lot. Imagine a place (call it heaven if you want) where time and death don’t exist. What could you possibly care about?

I've deliberately cultivated this. As I often as I remember I adopt the perspective of someone who's 14,000 years old. I don't know why I haven't died, and at this point I don't expect to at anytime in the future. But I don't know I won't - so I'm still careful, and grateful. But I don't let things bother me, because I've seen it before. And all my plans are long-term, because centuries to me are the same as quarters…

You are practicing eastern philosophy :)

The Man From Earth is wonderful. The best ultra-low budget movie IMO.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#192

Post by eplanit »

nautilus12 wrote: post #38

I think its simple, we don't have as much to lose as we get older so we relax.

And we've "been around the block" (i.e. cycles of life, relationships, career, health, ...) a few times. We've become a bit more familiar with the patterns, and familiarity reduces fear and anxiety.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#193

Post by acwan93 »

playingchanges wrote: post #109
7thaccount wrote: post #90

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is hilarious and yet right on the money in some way. As you get older, you start to see that everything is the same and goes through cycles. The important stuff of my childhood (ex: having clothes that were sewhar fashionable), becomes irrelevant. Who cares if I'm wearing the same style of sandals for over 20 years now? You start to focus on what's more important to you. F** are reserved for important matters li…

The last thing you wrote is something I indirectly think about quite a lot. Imagine a place (call it heaven if you want) where time and death don’t exist. What could you possibly care about?

I read somewhere that because people don't live that long, we don't have a collective memory of previous disasters or pandemics (anyone who was alive today during the 1918 pandemic wouldn't really remember it), so human history simply happens in cycles or waves. The underlying conflict is the same, but a new set of humans deal with it with the technological tools of the day.

Simply put, if the human lifespan were longer, we might give less fucks about natural disasters because we've seen them before.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#194

Post by jollybean »

emteycz wrote: post #142
jollybean wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No doubt there's some of that. Perspective is another other thing. Once you start to see how the world works, and how complicated things are, you're a lot less likely to fire off about some specific issue. Radicalism is the posture of those who want to externalize all the side effects of their utopianism, and when you're older it gets harder to not see second-order effects for what they are.

Radicalism can also be a reaction to systems that claim to be perfect but unsurprisingly fail, on the other hand.

Yes of course, but those systems I think most people don't believe are perfect.

Weirdly, it may take a kind of 'irrational populism' to nudge the needle a few points to just get 'basic change' which is a real paradox.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#197

Post by vimy »

Xplune13 wrote: post #179
InitialLastName wrote: post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There's a feedback loop between: a) systems like Twitter giving people dopamine bumps and internet points for strong emotional responses to the most extreme interpretation of anything anyone says and b) peoples training their brains to have strong emotional responses to the most extreme interpretation of anything anyone says

Yes, but I don't remember all this being so extreme even until 4-5 years ago on Twitter. From my experience, something changed around 2017 and now Twitter is a war zone.

The start of the Trump era. Trump made the left blind for the extremists on their side. Because criticizing them would mean siding with Trump. Not true of course but that’s what you get when people start to think in absolutes. “You’re either with us or part of the problem.“

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#198

Post by joncrocks »

chadcmulligan wrote: post #65
ggambetta wrote: post #15

My entirely unscientific theory is that like other cells, we're born with a limited number of fucks in our body. When we're young, we (instinctively, subconsciously) feel like our fucks reserves are plentiful, so we give a fuck about a lot of stuff. As we get older, our reservoir of fucks gets progressively depleted. The fucks are rarer, so we give a fuck less and less often. I've recently turned 40 and I can definit…

Reminds me of the theory I read somewhere - we all have so many words in us and when we use them up, we die. Think it might have been Vonnegut but can't find the source at the moment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-waMtGtxAdg

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#199

Post by ggambetta »

philwelch wrote: post #108
hnlmorg wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think what you're describing is more down to desensitisation through exposure to stressful environments. When you're younger smaller problems seem larger because you've not been desensitised to larger problems. As you progress through life you generally experience greater stress and thus the smaller problems feel smaller. You could look at it like desensitisation to capsicum, salt, violence or pornography.

Babies in particular cry so much because whatever discomfort they’re experiencing is literally the worst thing that’s ever happened to them.

Conversely, they must be in an almost constant state of wonder. When was the last time you or I saw a new color for the first time? Their threshold for amazement and "this is literally the best thing I've seen in my entire life" is also much lower!

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#200

Post by selimthegrim »

8ytecoder wrote: post #92
ggambetta wrote: post #15

My entirely unscientific theory is that like other cells, we're born with a limited number of fucks in our body. When we're young, we (instinctively, subconsciously) feel like our fucks reserves are plentiful, so we give a fuck about a lot of stuff. As we get older, our reservoir of fucks gets progressively depleted. The fucks are rarer, so we give a fuck less and less often. I've recently turned 40 and I can definit…

Less about the energy to give fucks and more about having better things to give fucks about. Personally at least, I used to give a fuck about every damn thing - from the slightest perceived insult to the way rice is cooked. These days I have better/bigger things to give a fuck about. I brush off even real insults and eat two day old rice just fine.

Er, I hope it’s not at room temp otherwise you might get food poisoning.
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