Trauma and desensitization would be my unscientific guess.
Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
31–40 of 288 posts
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#32At age 20 or so, I read a quote in a book (on day trading, IIRC) that went something like: "Master your emotions, or they will master you." After thinking about it, I realized that despite identifying as a logical-thinking individual, I was nevertheless at the mercy of the more primitive parts of my brain. Sometimes totally, but pretty much all executive functions were influenced by it to a large degree. That might b…
Imo there's a strong tendency for people working in tech/business or with high ambition in general to suppress their emotions as they affect the decision making.
However, I'd rather make suboptimal decisions if that means a richer life, deeper connections and a stronger sense of wonder. Trying to be as logical, rational as possible makes life dull and mechanical.
In the end as Kierkegaard said, "Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.".
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#33Earlier quoted context omitted.
Half of this website has no social life. Anyone dead yet? Show of hands?
Lack of social ties, interaction, spouse all are statistically significant factors of shorter avg lifespans.
Those are correlation studies. Such studies cannot tell would you live longer if you were to force yourself to improve your social interactions.
Being married at least has a tangible causal link: support in health-related emergencies.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#34> When older people say, “This is the best time of your life, enjoy it while you can,” that’s a form of abuse. I guess that these days anything can be called "abuse".
Calling everything toxic or abusive seems to have replaced a range of expressive terms and phrases, like "that's an asshole thing to say" or "what the fuck is wrong with you."
Basically, abuse these days is being told something you didn't like or agree with.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#35My entirely unscientific theory is that like other cells, we're born with a limited number of fucks in our body. When we're young, we (instinctively, subconsciously) feel like our fucks reserves are plentiful, so we give a fuck about a lot of stuff. As we get older, our reservoir of fucks gets progressively depleted. The fucks are rarer, so we give a fuck less and less often. I've recently turned 40 and I can definit…
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Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#36Less soy and less internet.
But we sure know how to play all you youngsters, look at BLM and all that horse shit.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#37At age 20 or so, I read a quote in a book (on day trading, IIRC) that went something like: "Master your emotions, or they will master you." After thinking about it, I realized that despite identifying as a logical-thinking individual, I was nevertheless at the mercy of the more primitive parts of my brain. Sometimes totally, but pretty much all executive functions were influenced by it to a large degree. That might b…
> I decided my internal caveman was not my friend, and took steps to sideline his vote in decision-making. Could you elaborate on what those steps were?
I settled on the triune brain model as a good-enough approximation for my needs in relation to this (whether it's factually accurate is another issue). I would then categorize my thoughts and subsequent actions based on that model (mainly limbic vs. neocortex). It's pretty easy to tell them apart with some high-level introspection. Then, I'd short-circuit any emotional thinking once I spotted myself engaging in it, and injecting rational thought into those times when the limbic system would normally be in control. I'd spent decades of life not doing this, so it took a long time for this to not feel weird, but eventually it became natural.
Once the big reactive emotions (e.g. anger) were dealt with, I turned attention to the more subtle influences. I think there's a middle ground of thoughts that are a more complex or a mix of emotional and rational (think things like national pride, identity, career progression). That's a harder job and a more involved topic. In fact, I can't say I've completely got that done, or even fully mastered the first part. The caveman is always there, of course, and perhaps the best you can hope for is restraining him.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#38I think its simple, we don't have as much to lose as we get older so we relax.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#39Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I decided my internal caveman was not my friend, and took steps to sideline his vote in decision-making. Could you elaborate on what those steps were?
Probably the same as changing any behavior: First try to notice when you're doing the thing you don't want to be doing, then try to abort when you find yourself doing it. The time between "start" and "abort" will keep getting shorter, and eventually you'll not do it in the first place.
Sounds like the ACT Matrix
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#40Degradation of tissue in the amygdala