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Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

smithsonianmag.com

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Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#11

Post by bm3719 »

At age 20 or so, I read a quote in a book (on day trading, IIRC) that went something like: "Master your emotions, or they will master you."

After thinking about it, I realized that despite identifying as a logical-thinking individual, I was nevertheless at the mercy of the more primitive parts of my brain. Sometimes totally, but pretty much all executive functions were influenced by it to a large degree. That might be fine, but my limbic system tended to make poor decisions; ones that my more conscious brain would have to pay the price for later. It's also no match for the brains of people not in emotional mode, and would be taken advantage of by things like appeals to emotion in advertising, politics, and rhetoric. I decided my internal caveman was not my friend, and took steps to sideline his vote in decision-making.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#12

Post by Tade0 »

literallycancer wrote: post #5
nsoonhui wrote: post #4

Because those who can't control their feelings don't tend to live as long, due to poor health and less meaningful social life, all resulted from bad temper?

Half of this website has no social life. Anyone dead yet? Show of hands?

IT is well past that point. Now it's a job like any other, not something done by people who would otherwise be shut-in NEETs.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#13

Post by mycologos »

saiya-jin wrote: post #8

Hormones go down and we get more experienced with all the crap life throws at everybody. Older folks tend to know themselves much better and also what they want in life, what actually matters and what is shallow bullsh*t. Enough reasons to be chill just about everything

Yeah, I'm surprised that the article seems to just ignore the role of hormones. There's certainly a decline in testosterone as men age [1]:

> Total testosterone levels fall at an average of 1.6% per year whilst free and bioavailable levels fall by 2%–3% per year ... [t]wenty percent of men aged over 60 have total testosterone levels below the normal range and the figure rises to 50% in those aged over 80.

I know there's been a lot of pushback on the idea that testosterone is just a masculine hormone, but the link between testosterone and aggression [2] seems pretty well-accepted. So it seems reasonable that declining testosterone might make you more even-keeled.

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2544367/

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testosterone#Aggression_and_cr...

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#14

Post by yberreby »

bm3719 wrote: post #11

At age 20 or so, I read a quote in a book (on day trading, IIRC) that went something like: "Master your emotions, or they will master you." After thinking about it, I realized that despite identifying as a logical-thinking individual, I was nevertheless at the mercy of the more primitive parts of my brain. Sometimes totally, but pretty much all executive functions were influenced by it to a large degree. That might b…

> I decided my internal caveman was not my friend, and took steps to sideline his vote in decision-making.

Could you elaborate on what those steps were?

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#15

Post by ggambetta »

My entirely unscientific theory is that like other cells, we're born with a limited number of fucks in our body.

When we're young, we (instinctively, subconsciously) feel like our fucks reserves are plentiful, so we give a fuck about a lot of stuff.

As we get older, our reservoir of fucks gets progressively depleted. The fucks are rarer, so we give a fuck less and less often. I've recently turned 40 and I can definitely feel this in myself; just like recovery from workouts takes a little longer than when I was 20, I don't give a fuck about things so easily.

By the time you're officially old, you're almost out of fucks, so it's not like you don't give a fuck because you don't want to, but because it's more difficult physically (harvesting of the last fucks takes more energy, because biology).

Brb, submitting to Nature.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#16

Post by koheripbal »

bm3719 wrote: post #11

At age 20 or so, I read a quote in a book (on day trading, IIRC) that went something like: "Master your emotions, or they will master you." After thinking about it, I realized that despite identifying as a logical-thinking individual, I was nevertheless at the mercy of the more primitive parts of my brain. Sometimes totally, but pretty much all executive functions were influenced by it to a large degree. That might b…

This is such an important realization. And when you have it and then think back in your life to the failed relationships you've had (personal and professional) it's usually very staggering the degree to which your caveman sabotaged you.

Learn this lesson young, and you will save yourself decades of squandered time.

Most people never appreciate the degree to which their emotions sabotage their lives.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#17

Post by StavrosK »

yberreby wrote: post #14
bm3719 wrote: post #11

At age 20 or so, I read a quote in a book (on day trading, IIRC) that went something like: "Master your emotions, or they will master you." After thinking about it, I realized that despite identifying as a logical-thinking individual, I was nevertheless at the mercy of the more primitive parts of my brain. Sometimes totally, but pretty much all executive functions were influenced by it to a large degree. That might b…

> I decided my internal caveman was not my friend, and took steps to sideline his vote in decision-making. Could you elaborate on what those steps were?

Probably the same as changing any behavior: First try to notice when you're doing the thing you don't want to be doing, then try to abort when you find yourself doing it. The time between "start" and "abort" will keep getting shorter, and eventually you'll not do it in the first place.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#18

Post by xorfish »

mycologos wrote: post #13
saiya-jin wrote: post #8

Hormones go down and we get more experienced with all the crap life throws at everybody. Older folks tend to know themselves much better and also what they want in life, what actually matters and what is shallow bullsh*t. Enough reasons to be chill just about everything

Yeah, I'm surprised that the article seems to just ignore the role of hormones. There's certainly a decline in testosterone as men age [1]: > Total testosterone levels fall at an average of 1.6% per year whilst free and bioavailable levels fall by 2%–3% per year ... [t]wenty percent of men aged over 60 have total testosterone levels below the normal range and the figure rises to 50% in those aged over 80. I know ther…

Or it could just be that in societies, where aggression is rewarded with social status, testosterone will increase aggression because it increases the thrive for social status:

> The relationship between testosterone and aggression may also function indirectly, as it has been proposed that testosterone does not amplify tendencies towards aggression but rather amplifies whatever tendencies will allow an individual to maintain social status when challenged. In most animals, aggression is the means of maintaining social status. However, humans have multiple ways of obtaining social status. This could explain why some studies find a link between testosterone and pro-social behaviour if pro-social behaviour is rewarded with social status. Thus the link between testosterone and aggression and violence is due to these being rewarded with social status.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#19

Post by rriepe »

As an emotional philosopher, I've found that the emotions of guilt and pride don't stop developing until you're in your 60s.

EDIT: No, really, I do philosophy, it focuses on emotion. I don't deserve downvotes for something I've worked for years on[1].

[1]: http://eristicstest.com/

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#20

Post by ChrisRR »

Hitton wrote: post #9

> When older people say, “This is the best time of your life, enjoy it while you can,” that’s a form of abuse. I guess that these days anything can be called "abuse".

I realise that a lot of people have anxiety issues, but to call it abuse is just stupid. They are genuinely people looking back on their life experience and giving advice.
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