951–960 of 1001 posts
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I think the dystopia part comes in if a particular male's only chance for a sexual relationship is via prostitution. That seems pretty dystopian to me.
Can I ask why? I mean it sucks if someone can't get laid without paying but isn't the alternative where they never get to have sex worse?
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I thought porn was supposed to make people into sexual deviants, which is it?
A common side effect of porn addiction is that the addict requires more and more extreme situations and stimulus in order to get aroused. So I would say that is sort of turning one into a sexual deviant.
In fact, I have experienced the opposite: I do not enjoy any kind of "ugly", much less "extreme" porn. It turns me off.
The simplest kind for me, missionary position, or a girl alone, and that's it.
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I'm trying to have a productive conversation here. The original question was about how to avoid dead bedrooms, and I gave my opinion as well as empirical evidence to back it up. I can't comment on the efficacy of birth control. I can say that we have been in fairly financially unstable times, and I have not found that children cost very much, although I can certainly see how some could spend lots of money on them. If…
I’m not derailing, I’m making a point that there are many external factors involved. You provided some good tips for avoiding a dead bedroom. My point is that the feasibility of those can depend on other circumstances which tie directly into how society at large cares - or doesn’t - for its members. And this greater issue that the article is about is a societal problem. The implication I took away from your original…
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Yeah, theoretically. But because of remaining cultural / social mores, women in general probably tend to be less polygamous than male "players" are. So in practice, "polygamy" turns out to be one man having many women much more than the other way around. Therefore a few "Chads" remove disproportionately many women from "the market", and you get many more male incels than female ones.
Well, then it’s unfortunately just a fact of life. I’m sure similar disproportionate mating chances are apparent in many species of animals between sexes as well and it may even serve an evolutionary goal that the stronger gets to pass their genetic lineup. Either way, the answer is most definitely not viewing women as objects that should be forcefully attached to a male to have any value and other misogynistic shit…
This explanation can be used to justify a lot of human behavior, including genocide.
It must be confusing to be a boy these days with all the conflicting messaging on how they should or should not be. The expectations of men are conflicting, confusing, uneven, and ever-changing. Equality is thrown around, with many exceptions across the board. Men simply bite their tongues in society, and are expected to do so without much complaint. Men are told to share their feelings, but then ignored or shamed wh…
And then in the midst of the #MeToo movement, you have books like Fifty Shades of Grey setting sales records, and you're like, "Hol' up". I think the answer here is that the expectations being thrown into the ring from all parties are unrealistic and self-serving, and the only true bastion of sanity is the one provided by raw biological drives. We as humans can continue attempting to put ourselves above our animal na…
People love to read and watch game of thrones. But, in real life, they make torture illegal and demand democracy instead of loyalty to lord. So confusing.
The message we get from the media is that finding a partner is only for those who ooze confidence and charm. The West has a hidden Hikikomori epidemic too. Shared houses are full of single guys living on the internet and takeaway food in their rooms. We just don't have a word in the culture for it yet.
Thankfully I met someone who was willing to look past the awkwardness and shyness and surface level quirks. I'm happily married now. I'm not sure I would have ever found my self esteem without her positive encouragement and support. The author's plea for compassion is probably what these guys need to begin healing.
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Well, then it’s unfortunately just a fact of life. I’m sure similar disproportionate mating chances are apparent in many species of animals between sexes as well and it may even serve an evolutionary goal that the stronger gets to pass their genetic lineup. Either way, the answer is most definitely not viewing women as objects that should be forcefully attached to a male to have any value and other misogynistic shit…
> may even serve an evolutionary goal that the stronger gets to pass their genetic lineup. This explanation can be used to justify a lot of human behavior, including genocide.
And as a society we should overcome these biological “laws”, or at least what we find immoral. Like healing and caring for weak/ill children, etc.
But I don’t see any solution to this problem that would not infringe on women’s freedom, which should be upheld even at the huge price psychological harm of a few. And attributing this harm to women should similarly be condemned, because one gender having biologically favorable chances of mating is a fact just as much as males having more muscle mass on average.
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And then in the midst of the #MeToo movement, you have books like Fifty Shades of Grey setting sales records, and you're like, "Hol' up". I think the answer here is that the expectations being thrown into the ring from all parties are unrealistic and self-serving, and the only true bastion of sanity is the one provided by raw biological drives. We as humans can continue attempting to put ourselves above our animal na…
There is massive difference between fantasy and reality. Afaik, what people watch in porn is not the same thing they want in real life. People love to read and watch game of thrones. But, in real life, they make torture illegal and demand democracy instead of loyalty to lord. So confusing.
There are plenty of people who long for a life of riding around on a horse swinging a sword at things or exploring the outer reaches of space on a futuristic craft. On the contrary; I'd say that the fiction that people select is highly correlated with their escapist desires.
Keep in mind, im not saying that people who enjoy Fifty Shades want to be raped. But there are enough people with rape/domination fantasies that it makes sense to unearth its sales as a proxy for repressed desires. And these desires are antithetical to a culture that calls for more fairness/equality between the sexes, or at least the claim that deeply seated biological urges don't influence a person's thoughts and behaviors directly.
I feel a common issue with such "dead bedroom" discussions is the seeming lack of capacity of some parties (including some prominent toplevel comments here) to understand how deep a need for sex many people have. To think sex can be replaced with "strong friendships" is laughable to anyone who actually feels a strong desire for sex. The dead bedroom situations I've seen with my friends (M->F equally as well as F->M)…
Maybe that wasn’t the consensus view 50 years ago, but it is now.
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> may even serve an evolutionary goal that the stronger gets to pass their genetic lineup. This explanation can be used to justify a lot of human behavior, including genocide.
I didn’t attribute any sort of moral value to said thing, but it is a biological fact. And as a society we should overcome these biological “laws”, or at least what we find immoral. Like healing and caring for weak/ill children, etc. But I don’t see any solution to this problem that would not infringe on women’s freedom, which should be upheld even at the huge price psychological harm of a few. And attributing this h…