761–770 of 779 posts
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this guy seems to be popular in Scala community, maybe somebody does not like him? meanwhile you're probably just normal person
Maybe "somebody" doesn't like him and managed to convince multiple other "somebodies" who (I assume in your scenario have nothing against him?) to put themselves and their reputations on the line tell lies about him? How did "somebody" manage to do that?
first, a small rant: tbf. I dislike the title. the real title is sexual harassment from Jon Pretty a leader of certain Scala Community standups. because the current title actually sounds like it's the whole commnity, but the blog is about a specific guy. --- second I really do not understand, how other people can be so horrible. he basically abused her in a moment where she was really really desperate and I think suc…
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Then can you explain how “it’s time to teach our boys to become kind men” is relevant to the original discussion?
"Son, I want to talk to you about something. You're getting older and obviously you're interested in sex. Being sexual is a healthy and normal part of being human. Know that I support you if you are gay, straight, non-binary, binary, etc... I love you because you are you and that will never change. As your father, it is important to me that you are a kind and caring person. Kindness comes in many forms, many of which…
General PSA from someone who has studied such things: 1. Alcohol is the number one date rape drug and it's problematic in part because men tend to have a much higher tolerance than women. 2. Date rape frequently involves two people from different cultures with different social expectations. This often fosters terrible misunderstandings. 3. It's always problematic to "try a case" in the court of public opinion. Probab…
I'm curious if you or anyone else can share more detail or some examples regarding cross-cultural differences in societal expectations. I've got some guesses about what this might mean, but I haven't studied this, and don't have any personal experience here.
https://ask.metafilter.com/55153/Whats-the-middle-ground-bet...
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> Did you ever deal with an instance where your kids started telling you "no" in response to demands you felt were reasonable, twisting your original explanations to use against you, for things like eating, cleaning up or hygiene? As a parent of teenagers... omg, yes. LOL. I think it's as much because they're teenagers preparing to leave the nest as much as anything.
The question was aimed at me. I never experienced that. That doesn't mean the teen years didn't have some bumps. The worst of that was cleared up by explaining to my children that they were being flooded with hormones and a side effect of high levels of testosterone is aggression and anger. So if they were feeling very, very angry, it wasn't because they were being subjected to extreme injustice they had never before…
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>>How surprising, I wonder why. It's surprising to you that someone did not fulfil a request from a random person on the internet who has been rude and angry toward them, while mischaractering their statements, to post their argument in another forum? I even gave you a reason why it would be pointless, and yet you insist on making this passive aggressive accusation. >>Facts? It was a blatantly fact-free reply with yo…
> I made an argument based on objective facts. If you think your first reply was based on objective facts you're delusional. It's full of your subjective assumptions: > "We've tried the 'rawr girl power, women can do everything men can do' culture, and the result is scores of women being used and taken advantage of because they were not capable, emotionally/temperamentally, to be their own advocate in sex and dating…
Like I said, if you disagreed with the claims I'm making, about the psychological profile of a typical woman, or even what proportion of that profile is biologically determined, and expressed that skepticism in a polite and open-minded manner, I would have been happy to provide sources.
But you are not open to counter arguments enough to even evaluate what evidence supports them. Your position on this issue is based on a weak/entirely-ideological heuristic.
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Is noting that women have two times less upper body strength misogynistic because it implies less competency in hand-to-hand combat or heavy manual labor? I'm assuming women are more compassionate and less aggressive, which makes women less competent in competitive settings where self-advocacy is important, and more competent in scenarios requiring cooperation and caretaking, like child-rearing. Whether these differe…
Women are extremely competitive and they are not more compassionate than men.
I think what's possibly needed is a return to a more traditional relationship and dating culture. In the past, if a man had a dalliance with with a woman and she got pregnant, he was expected to marry her. Now we expect women to have to be responsible for their own decisions the way men are, but women are generally more emotionally vulnerable than men, due to their more compassionate and less aggressive personalities…
Women are not more compassionate than men, that's false. Women have an instinct to take care of children (as do men), but this does not extend to society at large.
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She was left panicked and crying. That's not generally a sign that there was unambiguous consent. And it doesn't take a Rasputin-like figure to be an abuser. Plenty of people are taken advantage of and taught to believe things they later realize were abusive, even in relatively short situations. Pretty held all the power here -- he controlled where she was staying, he helped her get to the conference, she was intoxic…
She says that she remembers panicking and crying. I agree that those are both clear signs of non-consensual sex. Why does it take months and therapy for her to decode those clear signals? If Jon noticed her crying and panicking we would expect him to interpret that as a clear "I do not consent" signal. The power Pretty holds here is pretty minor. He's helping her get into conferences and mentoring her. He "controlled…
This is incredibly difficult to do, especially when you are young.
First, having the help and the time of someone who is known and respected in the community can already make you feel like you are imposing but also grateful for their generosity, especially if there are career implications (in your mind).
Second, when you are coming from a different culture, there may already be some battling of own (perceived) “inferiority” due to being an immigrant.
Third, when the person is “saving” you when you are in a situation of stress, the act of paying for a room is a lot more than just that.
Finally, the exact financial aspect of things can make it seem like you “owe” something.
I can picture my college self having a lot of trouble saying no in a situation like this. My current self would have no issues. In my own case, age and experience are very much factors that I would add as a fifth point.
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> I made an argument based on objective facts. If you think your first reply was based on objective facts you're delusional. It's full of your subjective assumptions: > "We've tried the 'rawr girl power, women can do everything men can do' culture, and the result is scores of women being used and taken advantage of because they were not capable, emotionally/temperamentally, to be their own advocate in sex and dating…
From your very first reply, up until now, all you have done is personally attack me. That is not a decent or constructive way to contend with points raised. Like I said, if you disagreed with the claims I'm making, about the psychological profile of a typical woman, or even what proportion of that profile is biologically determined, and expressed that skepticism in a polite and open-minded manner, I would have been h…