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My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

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Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#611

Post by lukasb »

philwelch wrote: post #481
lukasb wrote: post #180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Less than 1% of rapes lead to felony convictions: https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2018/10/06/less-than... Same article notes that between 2-8% of rape complaints are false. Worries about false rape claims are wildly overblown.

How are these numbers even measurable? > Less than 1% of rapes lead to felony convictions We can measure the numerator here: it’s the number of felony rape convictions. But how do we measure the denominator? In some rape trials, the central question of fact is whether a rape occurred at all, or if the sexual encounter was consensual. If a rape trial leads to acquittal based on reasonable doubt over that question, is…

jfengel's comment was all about how the very high bar the criminal justice system sets for arrests/prosecutions/convictions for sexual assault is not the appropriate bar for the community to use to keep itself safe. So the low conviction rate is not helping you here.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#612

Post by lukasb »

suifbwish wrote: post #320
lukasb wrote: post #180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Less than 1% of rapes lead to felony convictions: https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2018/10/06/less-than... Same article notes that between 2-8% of rape complaints are false. Worries about false rape claims are wildly overblown.

The article notes that 2-8% of rape cases are PROVEN false. The real number is definitely higher than that as people do go to prison under wrongful conviction. Bottom line is if you don’t have compelling evidence for a crime you don’t have a case. That’s a good thing as it protects us from unjust punishment most of the time. It’s real sad that victims that can’t prove their case don’t have justice but it’s much more…

That's not what the study (linked from the article) says. It estimates that 2-8% of complaints are false, and that the remaining 92-98% are true.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#613

Post by lukasb »

suifbwish wrote: post #349
lukasb wrote: post #282

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Aren't you more worried about the 99% of rape victims who receive no justice of any kind?

No. The two concepts have nothing to do with eachother. It’s bad that victims don’t get justice but it’s also bad if people are convicted of crimes they didn’t commit. Wrongfully punishing people without sound evidence just to satisfy the feelings of someone who was wronged is not a sane justice system.

Is there any evidence that would convince you that actual rapes are a more prevalent and more important problem than false claims of rape?

If so, what form would that evidence take?

If not, you're really arguing based on faith, not evidence, right?

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#614

Post by epicureanideal »

faitswulff wrote: post #302
_f1dq wrote: post #280

There is a lot about the sexual events in this post that, to me, highlights something I feel is important which is: we parents need to get better had having conversations with our children around sex. This girl was feeling uncomfortable and crying but at the same time "didn't think those behaviors were problematic". I can't help but wonder if her parents never sat her down and discussed situations like this and, I ge…

+1 but especially our boys. Girls and women already learn so much about how to avoid being harmed by men. It’s time for our boys to learn how to become kind men - and for those of us who are men to model that for them.

Boys and men are constantly taught to be kind and protective toward women and even deferential to their wants. Just because there might be a small percent of men who have psychological disorders or otherwise don't behave properly doesn't mean that 95%+ of men don't have GOOD character, whether or not that comes from education.

But I think we should also be teaching boys and men how not to be victims. Both sexes can be abusers, and we spend almost no time teaching boys and men how to recognize and escape abusive situations.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#615

Post by hda2 »

colecut wrote: post #391
tester756 wrote: post #369

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>This just pretty much does not happen without reason, and I think it is safe to say that if it did, you are probably a terrible person. oh c'mon, it's insanely naive, let's dont try to push narration that those things do not happen

When do they happen, and why did they happen? Edit: since I wasn't clear, I am looking for examples of when this has happened to you, or your friend, or anyone that you have heard of... Edit 2: also by "pretty much" does not happen, I don't mean never happens. But I think the rate at which it happens is probably a rounding error, and I think a lot of people would rather just say "oh well they could be lying" before e…

Projared, a game review channel on youtube was falsely accused of being a child predator by a bunch of kids who coordinated to destroy him on discord. Those kids provided fabricated "evidence" and managed to destroy Projared's growth, get their channel booted of their network, and destroyed their business relationships with their sponsors and other partners. All this because of the mentality that multiple parties can't lie. The poor host was branded a pedophile by everyone and looked like he aged 10 years in a couple of months.

Projared was fortunate enough to posses the mental fortitude and evidence needed to clear his name. Others in a similar position might not be as lucky.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#616

Post by david38 »

DoreenMichele wrote: post #542
sixstringtheory wrote: post #536

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife told me something a while back about how girls are often taught from a young age to be "sweet" and to defer to adults who demand their affection. I can't remember if it's something she read or came to herself upon examination of her youth. I can see the way that this idea on boundaries can grow to adulthood to having difficulty strongly advocating for oneself. The philosophies you laid out resonate strongly w…

I made sure my demands were reasonable and gave them options. If they didn't want to bathe that night, they had to pass a sniff test. If they didn't want a haircut, they could grow their hair as long as they wanted so long as they kept it clean. For eating, I made healthy foods available that they liked. This worked really well. One son has two conditions that can land a child in in-house hospital treatment for avers…

I also am super flexible with food. Lots of obesity is caused by forcing kids to eat in excess. I don’t make candy available for meals, but not do they have to eat. When they do it, it’s natural food.

I have one major rule - if I give an absolute command, it must be obeyed immediately without question. In exchange, I promise to do it very rarely and explain my reasons as the earliest possible convenience. This has helped in situations where it wasn’t practical for me to physically drag them - get out of the way of the car, come towards me NOW and away from that crumbling cliff. Stuff like that.

Most other things fall into place just by showing by example. Show interest in their homework, talk excitedly about science, etc, they do their best in school.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#617

Post by analognoise »

stadium wrote: post #603
analognoise wrote: post #543

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Predator" also implies the other party had no agency. It's this weird thing that keeps popping up...

Educate yourself on narcissistic abuse for more info.

Thanks, I'll read up on it.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#618

Post by ipaddr »

Pfhreak wrote: post #196
ipaddr wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"We will not use or promote any software artifacts that are maintained by Mr. Pretty" This part seems over the top. You go down this road and you end up in some foss hell. Later you find out someone who abused someone checked in code in linux. You can't use windows or a mac because of jobs and gates and you are back on a c64 until you realize what a bad person Jack was and you end up on OS/2. I guess those who signed…

Edit: Would you characterize that part as "a bit like a public lynching"? Because I definitely wouldn't, even if I disagreed with it or felt it was too much. --- I think you are very uncharitably reading that comment. There's a difference between, "This person checked some code into a repo" and "this person is the maintainer of a project". And I think that it's reasonable for people to hold the stance of, "I don't wa…

If you are not going to fork and maintain the repos yourself encoraging others not to use open source is a weird group control method that doesn't feel right. Remember the code is open and apolitical.

Even thought I disagree with the group who signed the document I will still use whatever they maintain if it makes sense for my project.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#620

Post by hda2 »

julianlam wrote: post #278
epicureanideal wrote: post #256

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sometimes character assassination is coordinated. I personally only slightly increase the probability of something being true when multiple accusers come forward. I still want to see proof. What if a bunch of your ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends got together and decided to ruin your life with accusations?

If a bunch of your ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends got together to assassinate your character, then between all of those separate relationship, there was only one common factor, you. A coordinated release in my opinion reinforces the statement.

Projared, a youtuber, got his business destroyed and was falsely labeled a pedophile because a group of kids coordinated a release. Unless a conviction is secured, a coordinated statement is meaningless if you care about justice.
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