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My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

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Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#241

Post by donnythecroc »

Elof wrote: post #93
JPKab wrote: post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A massive company that makes overpriced, low-quality athletic products that double as status symbols, which they manufacture overseas (often using child labor) but then sell for massive markups in the US, Europe, etc. They have an extremely aggressive "woke" presence in their advertising, because as long as you care about social justice for your targeted customers, who cares that "people of color" in the developing w…

Seems like your brother can probably sue for damages if this is the whole story

Yes clearly, if he has corroborating evidence. Also, it's easy to get an unfair dismissal lawyer on compensation share I.e. they take 40% of any compensation as their fee. Plus if it's a major corp and your brother has evidence then they'll usually have a budget/insurance for paying off these types of claims.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#242

Post by faitswulff »

totony wrote: post #115
faitswulff wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, you are victim blaming. Men aren’t wild bears, they’re human beings who should be held accountable for their actions. How drunk someone is around another human being has nothing to do with the perpetrator’s culpability.

I don't think that's what the parent meant. If someone is intoxicated, I agree that it seems weird to disregard their consent when drugs+alcohols are the social lubricant of society (and very interwined with sex). Also, of course you are responsible for your actions even when under the influence (drive and kill someone? no excuse because you were intoxicated - it's your fault). It's crazy to me that people call that…

Someone being assaulted when they’re intoxicated is not equivalent to someone knowingly driving a car when they’re drunk. The sexual predator consciously chooses to assault their victim; the car doesn’t choose to crash.

EDIT - a lot of you seem to think that this is equivalent to a DUI. It is not. If you are driving under the influence, then you are the perpetrator of the accident. If you are drunk and somebody else sexually assaults you, then the other person is the perpetrator.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#243

Post by calylex »

McGlockenshire wrote: post #104
yoavm wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, hackers care about their communities.

> Yes, hackers care about their communities. The number of creep defenders in this thread suggests otherwise. See also: any discussion about codes of conduct.

Please provide sources, hint: make sure not to include people asking questions and not categorically wanting to lynch the horrible rapist based on a single story and you interpreting that as "creep defenders".

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#244

Post by toast0 »

mirekrusin wrote: post #190
_qwfv wrote: post #157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> some people will pause before judging definite rape for described situation where girl accepts invitation to sleep in the same airbnb, without anybody else, with single guy, bringing bottle of wine, None of those things even remotely imply consent for a sexual advance. Those are all things that should be fine for anyone of any gender to do together without there being fear of a sexual assault. Anyone who looks at t…

My point is that she doesn't mention she didn't want it, said "no" or anything that implies not giving consent.

> There was another time that he insisted on having intercourse regardless of me saying I didn’t want to.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#245

Post by caconym_ »

JPKab wrote: post #27

Jon Pretty sounds like a complete creep and yes, based on this account, a predator. That being said, there is a court and criminal justice system for a reason. While I empathize with the author, and utterly despise the archetype of high-status men who use their status within programming communities as a tool to target women, I find the nature of these kinds of posts to be counterproductive. Therapeutic to the author?…

Arguably the problem in your brother’s case is more his organization being willing to ignore evidence in favor of “optics”, and less the ability of women to make their experiences with predators public.

When accusations like this come out, organizations with a stake in the outcome should act with integrity to find the truth and respond to it. Witch hunts are never a good idea. But the fact that some men may be falsely accused doesn’t mean women shouldn’t speak up when they have experiences like this. Ironically, many (if not most) women who don’t speak up publicly end up being gaslighted and marginalized by the very same kinds of corporate entities who were willing to throw your brother under the bus for optics. By the same token, it’s often a last ditch attempt to get some help after all other avenues have failed.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#246

Post by pc86 »

solosoyokaze wrote: post #140
andrewzah wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Someone should coin a law for this phenomenon: Every single time a ~~woman~~ victim makes a public statement like this, in the comment sections a man must be discussing false accusations or the court of public opinion. I don't think I've ever not seen this. People who are abused are damned if they do, damned if they don't. edit: removed specific gender edit2: I'm not trying to be inflammatory here. This is a phenomen…

It's also a completely false argument since there's libel and slander laws. If the accused was innocent, they would simply sue the false accuser. That they don't says everything. The barrier and punishment for coming forward as a victim of sexual abuse, rape or harassment is great indeed. Questioning every case is ignorance of existing laws setup to handle any false accusations.

If it's hard to demonstrably prove actual cases of sexual assault, doesn't it follow that it would be as hard, if not harder, to prove the negative?

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#248

Post by kweinber »

For those claiming this should be handled in courts: 1) you know it won’t be… especially internationally at the expense of the accuser that has to go through an extradition process. 2) it is still valuable to warn others that a predator is on the loose. 3) it’s already been publicly corroborated by someone else who had a similar experience and you can expect others to follow.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#249

Post by Humdeee »

_qwfv wrote: post #106
ALittleLight wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Slightly later she writes "I maintained friendship with him for a few months after May, because I was convinced that it was all consensual". I think it is something of a philosophical issue to debate about whether you can think you consented and later determine you didn't. It's also strange to me that it takes months and consultation with a therapist to determine if you did or did not consent.

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? Or seen one firsthand? People can be made to believe all sorts of things that aren't true by charismatic or powerful people. It may take them some time to realize they are being tricked or abused. You absolutely can be told you consented, and trust that person's word, and realize later that no, actually you had not. It's just convenient for the abuser for you to believe…

This article reads like she did not say no as much as she did not say yes, which leaves the reader in a muddled, grey area and unsure of how to interpret anything. Is she consenting, or more specifically, is she explicitly claiming to not consent? It's a very awkward article, leaving readers with more questions than answers at the end, which is never what you want your readers to feel when garnering support.
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