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I Miss My Bar

imissmybar.com

151–160 of 470 posts

Re: I Miss My Bar

#151
post #50

I think the psychological toll of the lockdowns in different countries is highly underestimated. I myself have no real economical shortcomings due to the lockdown, but even as a person who is normaly a total loner and who can spend weeks completely alone on a excessive hiking trip i am slowly going crazy... For my wife, who is a highly social character, its even worse. And i am not the only one in this mindset... wha…

Different countries, and different situations. Living in a big old house in the country with your family? Your life is probably basically the same as it always was. Potentially better, depending on the work situation. Okay, sure, you're not going on as many holidays, and depending on how strict the rules are where you are, dinner parties are off the cards. Living in a flat as a single person in the big exciting city?…

> Living in a big old house in the country with your family?

This might be exactly situation where you might desperately need to go out to keep sanity, to escape the family.

Re: I Miss My Bar

#153
post #3

It's cool. I wish I could be happy. But for me, this sort of thing just sends me further into a deep depression. It ain't right. Pictures of food don't fix hunger. I hope that we snap out of all of this soon. Writing these comments, just to leave a log, in case someone cares, if it all goes wrong. I miss having the ability to miss. Having the feeling that others exist. Right now I feel that other people stopped exist…

And some of us have been cooped up with spouse and kids for almost a year. When I get a little alone time I'm especially grateful. Still, I'd love to go to this bar! Or the pub down the street.

[deleted]

Re: I Miss My Bar

#154

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know you're trying to be helpful, but these kinds of posts just come off as incredibly condescending and out of touch. Lack of nature is not considered to be actual torture, but complete isolation from other people (solitary confinement) is.

I apologize if that came off as condescending. That is exactly what I mean, however, you are writing off non-human companionship and interaction as worthless, when it can bring endless joy and comfort when humans are not available.

It's not the same, in a way that matters.

I grew up outside a small rural town, running barefoot all over creation every chance I got, and most of the time by myself. These days I'm a wildlife photographer by avocation, and over the last couple of years I've gotten deeply into macro - I take pictures of wasps while they're doing wasp things, and as a result of that, I'm not only no longer afraid of them, I've kind of fallen in love with them. They are at this point by far my favorite insects, and high up among my favorite animals overall. I like them better than most mammals at this point, and some of the best pictures I've ever taken of a spider wasp, I got in my backyard last October. Aside from that, research papers on wasp ethology have been a gateway into entomology as a special interest, to an extent where if I had it to do over I might go into that instead of software engineering. I've even learned to make and bind books from scratch, initially because I wanted paper textbooks instead of PDFs.

All of that means a great deal to me. None of it makes up for the fact that, over the course of the last year, I've only been able to spend a few hours in the company of a friend, and none in that of colleagues. I'm somewhat solitary by inclination, and I think that makes it less hard on me than on most. But even for me, it's been hard. I can't imagine what it's been like for anyone who came into this both alone and without the good fortune of knowing how to be satisfied with their own company. These aren't good circumstances under which to have to learn that, and even the most cursory glance at the comments in this thread overall is enough to show that the success rate has probably not been high.

Yes, every so often you get someone like me, who can feel good for days about the pompilid wasp who turned up in his home office for an impromptu visit. Every so often you get a Birdman of Alcatraz, too. To suggest that everyone should just instantly be a Birdman - I mean, I get that you're trying to help, and I respect that. But you seem not to have given any thought to how to make your advice potentially useful to someone whose perspective differs greatly from your own.

It's an easy mistake to make - I do it often enough myself. But it's still a mistake, and it's why the criticism you're getting is warranted. The intention is obviously good, but the execution needs a deal of improvement.

Re: I Miss My Bar

#155

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I apologize if that came off as condescending. That is exactly what I mean, however, you are writing off non-human companionship and interaction as worthless, when it can bring endless joy and comfort when humans are not available.

It's not the same, in a way that matters. I grew up outside a small rural town, running barefoot all over creation every chance I got, and most of the time by myself. These days I'm a wildlife photographer by avocation, and over the last couple of years I've gotten deeply into macro - I take pictures of wasps while they're doing wasp things, and as a result of that, I'm not only no longer afraid of them, I've kind of…

I see what we're saying, and you're right that it is a huge negative impact.

Perhaps, then, it is worth re-evaluating how much we allow our lives to be controlled by threats and mass media messages.

Re: I Miss My Bar

#157
post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Come over to Sweden, things are quite dandy here. Never thought I'd say that in a positive manner though. Wish you the better and best.

A lot of us wish we could; but in the UK it is illegal to leave the house for anything but food-shopping, a medical appointment or (limited) exercise. I don't think "escaping a police state" falls under any of those.

Wait are you seriously saying that you can’t leave the country?!?

Re: I Miss My Bar

#158
post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Eh? Are you suggesting this site is for bar owners . You parent and probably everyone else is assuming the perspective of a bar patron.

You guys know people lost their jobs during the pandemic right?

No, they don’t know anyone outside of their tech bubble, so of course they don’t. As long as it doesn’t affect them, they don’t care.

Re: I Miss My Bar

#159

I think the psychological toll of the lockdowns in different countries is highly underestimated. I myself have no real economical shortcomings due to the lockdown, but even as a person who is normaly a total loner and who can spend weeks completely alone on a excessive hiking trip i am slowly going crazy... For my wife, who is a highly social character, its even worse. And i am not the only one in this mindset... wha…

Even the term: lockdown Free societies don’t have lockdowns. Prisons do. One would think that the government would come up with a better term, if only out of self interest. But then perhaps that’s the point.

A lot of places used "shelter-in-place", and officially over here it's still "stay-at-home". The colloquial term having switched so totally to "lockdown" is another symptom of people caring for it less and less.

Re: I Miss My Bar

#160
post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm so confused as to how excess money can be enough fuel for so many people's positive feedback loops that it keeps them working. That already wasn't working for me, but as soon as there was almost nothing to do, I crashed and lost my job.

In my case there's a goal. I'm putting together enough money for a house deposit in another country when we emigrate later in the year. When I'm tired as all hell and wishing I could just go back to bed, that's what keeps me going. When I'm not tired as all hell I actually still enjoy the work, so that helps.

Out of curiosity, where are you planning to go? I am planning to leave the UK too and would like to know some options. So far my plan is to end up somewhere in Eastern Europe. Cost of living is low enough that I can actually afford a property instead of burning piles of cash for a shitty London flat.
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