I refuse to tolerate assholes • Hacker News Board

Re: I refuse to tolerate assholes

#41

Post by [deleted] » Thu, May 19, 2011, 5:59 PM UTC

Jd wrote: post #26

keithwinstein wrote: post #11

This article really strikes a chord. In several nerd organizations at MIT, there are longstanding "assholes" who are brilliant people and whose contributions are very valuable and educational to other members, but who typically write acerbic and harsh messages. (Almost always their criticism is directed at other longtime members, not directly at new members, but even new members see these messages or interactions in…

Many people who are perceived as "acerbic" are simply direct and don't engage in the poo-pooing that characterizes many human social interactions. To get rid of them is to revert to a less intelligent form of life.

[deleted]

Re: I refuse to tolerate assholes

#42

Post by jeffh » Thu, May 19, 2011, 5:59 PM UTC

absconditus wrote: post #27

erikpukinskis wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If one of my coworkers was being abusive to anyone I would absolutely expect my boss to fire them. Edit: Or I would expect the boss to fire themselves for not being able to protect the team from the asshole.

Should Steve Jobs be fired?

Steve Jobs was fired ... and look what happened to Apple while he was gone. Good parallel? Probably not, but it isn't a unique situation.

Re: I refuse to tolerate assholes

#43

Post by samfoo » Thu, May 19, 2011, 6:00 PM UTC

Jd wrote: post #26

keithwinstein wrote: post #11

This article really strikes a chord. In several nerd organizations at MIT, there are longstanding "assholes" who are brilliant people and whose contributions are very valuable and educational to other members, but who typically write acerbic and harsh messages. (Almost always their criticism is directed at other longtime members, not directly at new members, but even new members see these messages or interactions in…

Many people who are perceived as "acerbic" are simply direct and don't engage in the poo-pooing that characterizes many human social interactions. To get rid of them is to revert to a less intelligent form of life.

Only if you presuppose that the "poo-pooing" of human social interaction has no value, or perhaps misunderstand the value of social conventions.

Even if you're brilliant and correct, a tactful approach to persuasion/discussion is virtually guaranteed to yield better results than verbal blunt-trauma. Unless the goal of life is simply "To be correct", which honestly strikes me as a fairly depressing end game compared to the other options.

Re: I refuse to tolerate assholes

#44

Post by yequalsx » Thu, May 19, 2011, 6:01 PM UTC

adeaver wrote: post #33

yequalsx wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your last line was very nicely put. Something a jerk generally wouldn't say. I find that when I give advice to people often times it's more of a reminder to myself. I agree the world is not divided into jerks/nice people. There's a spectrum. Try to stay on the nice side. You can't always avoid jerks but one should not go out of their way to be around them.

Not only that but there will be times, for whatever reason, a nice person will occasionally behave like a jerk. be it because something bad has happened at home or they are just having a bad day. Always a good idea to consider that the other person isn't having the same day/thoughts/experience as you.

Around 10 years ago I started to approach situations that were dicey by making the assumption that the other person was having a bad day. In addition to helping prevent situations from escalating out of control this has had a calming effect on me.

Empathy is much better than judgment especially in a situation with imperfect information.

Re: I refuse to tolerate assholes

#45

Post by Zev » Thu, May 19, 2011, 6:02 PM UTC

Jd wrote: post #26

keithwinstein wrote: post #11

This article really strikes a chord. In several nerd organizations at MIT, there are longstanding "assholes" who are brilliant people and whose contributions are very valuable and educational to other members, but who typically write acerbic and harsh messages. (Almost always their criticism is directed at other longtime members, not directly at new members, but even new members see these messages or interactions in…

Many people who are perceived as "acerbic" are simply direct and don't engage in the poo-pooing that characterizes many human social interactions. To get rid of them is to revert to a less intelligent form of life.

No one's time is worth so much that they can't take an extra five seconds and think about how to say something to avoid looking like a jackass.

Re: I refuse to tolerate assholes

#46

Post by jarin » Thu, May 19, 2011, 6:02 PM UTC

I do not tolerate working with assholes or having assholes working for me, but I am more than happy to let them work for someone else or on someone else's project and enjoy the fruits of their labor :)

Re: I refuse to tolerate assholes

#47

Post by rbanffy » Thu, May 19, 2011, 6:03 PM UTC

jeffh wrote: post #42

absconditus wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Should Steve Jobs be fired?

Steve Jobs was fired ... and look what happened to Apple while he was gone. Good parallel? Probably not, but it isn't a unique situation.

There wasn't anyone nice to replace him.

Having the company depend on one vital asshole is a worst-case scenario.

Re: I refuse to tolerate assholes

#48

Post by AndyNemmity » Thu, May 19, 2011, 6:04 PM UTC

Assholes, are those people that write a compelling topic, but their webserver cannot handle the traffic?

Re: I refuse to tolerate assholes

#49

Post by Tharkun » Thu, May 19, 2011, 6:07 PM UTC

It's an old sore. And every once in a while someone bitches and moans about it. Big whoop. Pat yourself on the back for calling out anti-social behaviour. You made the world a better place. Now shut up and hack.

Right?

The thing about these arseholes is that they, just like you, are doing this on their own, because they enjoy doing it. They're giving up their time to create something that other people can use, usually without asking anything in return for it. What they can rightfully expect in return, though, is that people read the fucking manual or do a google search before they start their incessant questioning and bitching and nagging.

Re: I refuse to tolerate assholes

#50

Post by ryandvm » Thu, May 19, 2011, 6:08 PM UTC

Half-serious question: Why isn't being an asshole a clinically recognized disability? I have yet to meet a reformed asshole, so I've come to the conclusion that it's an inherent part of one's personality. No different than OCD, ADHD, sexual addiction, etc.