My Experience at Apple

I think this has a lot to do with it. I worked at Apple for four years, and the most successful (promoted) managers all tried to emulate the managerial attributes they believed Steve embodied: Hard nosed, demanding, callous, ridiculing failure, and they all thought they had his product sense too. They attempted to be Steve-clones all the way up the chain to Craig (who was actually a really decent guy, and didn't, at least to me, act like a Steve-clone himself). They were consistently rewarded for this behavior, so that kind of behavior became known as the way to go places at Apple. I remember having [careful] conversations with my manager where I essentially asked, "Do I have to be a raging asshole to get rewarded here? Because that's all I see--raging assholes get the promotions and equity refreshes."

There were other managers who were not toxic, and knew how to develop a team and reward/motivate them, but most of them stagnated and never went anywhere promotion-wise.

I also found the place very clique-y. There was definitely a small in-group, with the rest in the out-group, and it seemed to have nothing to do with tenure, seniority, or level. They would have their own private off-sites to do who knows what. I think they called it Top-100 or something while I was there. Everything was siloed and secret so you could never be sure.

EDIT: Reading the article, I see the cliques were specifically mentioned. I have no doubt the author is for real.

In a huge way, this person's post seems true - from what I've seen being a software engineer for twenty years, many tech companies (especially those in the Bay Area) are fast paced, demanding, and stressful, even for experienced developers. It's often an unforgiving environment where you either perform or are let go - personally have had my own equal share of victories and massive failures - And as for abuse, have had some true horror stories (a senior dev who would actively and openly attack my work at every chance they got during large meetings for months on end). But...

... At the same time, this is somewhat universal to most (not all) companies to some degree, especially tech. And the more important the work, the more stressful the environment often is.

Could be way off on this, but just my impression is that since they are a newly graduated PhD working at their first job, am wondering if the shock of that first position (which was also at Apple, who is known to be very demanding), was a bit too much to handle - and if you also have a bad lead, you're in for real trouble. Apologies to this person as I wasn't there and have no real idea on what happened, but the workplace is a tough environment more often than not.

Know this only an estimate, but in my humble opinion, Glassdoor is generally in the right ballpark when it comes to a company's actual culture (how it treats its people), and 4.2 for Apple is really good - did a contract job at Stubhub a few years back, which when I worked there was a 2.8 (it's now a 3.3). And yeah, it was really that bad. The politics and scapegoating were the most intense I've ever seen (got caught up on the wrong side of this majorly myself. Felt like I was in one of those targets at those Carnival games where people line up to take shots at you).

Yeah, and tech is ruthless but, as another person said, typically in the Bay Area it usually isn't abusive about it. In the socially aware Bay-Area, they often won't tell you directly that they have an issue with you like they do on the East Coast, but through silence and innuendo - you'll feel it before they actually tell you they're not happy.

And sorry to hear about this person's visa issues, the stress this has caused my foreign friends is immense. Hope they're okay!

That’s true, I’ve seen toxic situations happening in other teams like those described here at several employers that were otherwise good places to work.

Sometimes it’s down to a particular manager, but sometimes it can just be the consequences of a bad decision taken further up the food chain. This can leave a team in a no-win situation where even a good team lead can end up in a mess with no good options. I was at one employer where this happened and the team lead in question fell on his sword and quit rather than beat his team to death. I ended up taking on some of his responsibilities and team members and got some additional resources to deal with the re-org, so it worked out well for the team members and the company. It also gave me my first taste of management. It cost the guy his job though, which was grossly unfair. Not many mangers would have the guts and integrity to do something like that, and even if they did there’s no guarantee it would actually benefit the team. They could just be replaced by a tyrant.

The only answer is to be open and honest about what you think and principled in your own actions. Call out bad behaviour where you see it and say when you see mistakes being made. If you aren’t prepared to do so, why should anyone else? Too many people silently tie the line and keep quiet and then wonder why these things spiral out of control and end in disaster. It’s because nobody said anything or did anything about it. We have to be prepared to take responsibility for calling out what’s happening around us and what we do about it as employees. It’s not somebody else’s problem, it’s our problem. Don’t be afraid of losing your job, it may well happen but jobs come and go. Having principles carries a cost, but one I think is worth paying.

Here's the thing you need to know about experienced abusers (note: often narcissists): They know how to "play the game", and what to do.

They know that when it comes to the illegal stuff - you do it off-the-record. Then it just become "he said, she said", which is very difficult to prove.

They are experts at gaslighting, which ties in with the point above. Not only can the invalidate your claims about (difficult to prove) verbal abuse, but they can actually turn it against you, by claiming that you're obviously mentally unstable / hearing things due to workload / not fit for the job / etc.

Especially for narcissists, they tend to be very good at forming networks and friendships which benefit them - and in turn can produce cliques like this.

They know what buttons to push in the organization, to cover their own ass, and make the other party look incompetent. This includes creating extensive paper trails, frequent meetings to establish some opinion on a person, and what not.

Prolific abusers are hard to catch because they are very good at it, and because they create (or join) environments which are chaotic, and tie in multiple people on the abuse (whether want it or not - pretty much in the same way that bullies in school rarely do the bullying themselves, but form groups to do it).

In this case, it's even worse - because there's such an extreme imbalance of power. On one side you have a fresh hire, without any permanent VISA, completely dependent on the job. On the other side, you have established bullies in clique, with decades of employment in the company.

And not only that - it all happened within a company that enforces a strict culture of non-disclosure. It's hard to go public with information which may include explicitly confidential work/data.

That's a very petty approach. Apple (or any company) could easily sue this guy for that threat.