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Am I Disabled?

aeon.co

211–220 of 245 posts

Re: Am I Disabled?

#211
post #98

It seems society sucks at helping cripples. I’m in constant pain while walking, but while wearing shoes (covering up the noticeable deformation) I have been yelled at many times for parking in handicap spaces. I have had people and family tell me it is no big deal and I need to deal with it (if you can walk, but still crippled no one actually considers you crippled).

> people and family tell me it is no big deal and I need to deal with it How do you deal with them after hearing something like this? The resentment and/or feelings of guilt are too much...

The people I just yell and cuss out. The family part is harder. I know they love me, but they have no clue what is going on when it comes to simply walking. They can be supportive, but if I tell them I can’t do something like take the trash out it can turn into an argument. At that point I’m usually accused of using my disability as an excuse. That really sucks. Sometimes I just do what is being asked even though it is at my detriment.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that people's perceptions of what it means to feel disabled are so different that your view is wrong. For instance, my mother totally lost the use of one leg as a baby with polio. She has always worn a full supportive brace on that leg from foot to hip so she can stand up and walk (she's never been able to run). She has always said she doesn't "feel disabled", but she checks yes on forms like this because she…

The difference between the OP's and your mother's situation is that OP got injured after becoming an adult. The real difference is that OP could could determine if his current state is a regression from normal. Your mother's abilities degraded before she could understand what she misses out on. So being disabled is the norm for her, she does not feel disabled, but when filling out official forms, she has to compare h…

The OP is free to feel how he wants. However, his suggestion that other people should self-assess the same way he does was wrong.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#213

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't see a form like this and think "This hurts my feelings :(". I see this form and go "Oh shit, so do I say I'm disabled and get discriminated against now, or do I say I'm not disabled and then get retaliated against for dishonesty later?". I've been rejected from jobs before for being disabled and being disabled is expensive. Here is how "chill" the situation is in India by the way: https://www.theguardian.com/…

My dad is mentally disabled. Yeah. So much so he has to visit the mental hospital twice. Stayed locked up for two weeks straight. Yeah. We are economically well off only because my grandpa had good estates and stable income. My father somehow got his degree in Economics. He somehow got to the point that he is now well respected at the age of 58. The condition my father has is far far worse than the mere depression ev…

Lumping everyone together just due to national origin, state or city of residence, skin color, gender, sexual orientation, disability, etc, is a large problem for those affected. When people who mentally, emotionally, sexually, or physically put you through a living hell for things that are immutable traits you can't really change. You can be denied work, assistance, Healthcare, vision care, dental care, all for no reason, even when those services are I expensive. The average US citizen would probably lose housing for any unexpected expense of just $400. It's saddening that if you can afford that, you're in the top 20% of society that's effectively unimaginable for the rest of us. That's not good, and much of that is due to extreme corruption at the political / governmental level, as well as abuse by police. No matter your zip code, the place can walk into your housing without announcing themselves, shoot you to death while being unarmed and cooperative and then get away with with zero criminal punishment. That happens nearly every day. I've personally been physically, mentally and emotionally abused on the whole basis of my autism and DID with no particular social, emotional, or cognitive issues aside from cheap medicine that is required to keep things reasonable and stable. People always give me a hard time, and tell me they know "my disease" (which isn't a disease) better than I do, despite nrvrt having looked it up, not any relevant medical literature or legitimate studies peer reviewed in journals. We've nearly died dozens of times, most within the last few 16 months, due to intentional medical mismanagement, including forced against will to take unnecessary heart and liver medication for illnesses we've never had any symptoms of, and forced down and beaten for requesting food, water, ans being allowed to be able to use the toilet. I've been held down, hit repeated in the head and face until seizures occurred, then denied medical treatment for the bleeding, cuts, gashes, or severe PTSD that lasted for 8+ months after. Saying "Americans have it easy" is itself lazy and easy to do if you've never had to live among ordinary people who have real difficulties. We ask fur help, and the government denies assistance while claiming that our number is in the system so if course we're getting stellar aid, even as their own accounting says we've never 4vrn been contacted. Our own calls, letters, visits to offices getting ignored for literally years at a time. Our own political representation literally doing nothing while police punish victims for reporting serious violations of law.

Don't be lazy and assume that anyone else has it easy, especially minorities, women, and the disabled. If I were allowed just $15-20/week for food, I'd be suffering a lot less from constant hunger than I am. Trying to get that much money while forced into Adult Foster Care is almost impossible, requiring many hours of work to fill out surveys and job applications that are never responded to. I'm smart, relatively alright, and there are the only open work for a high school graduate. I am told I'm not eligible for student grants due to paperwork that was misfiled after receipt due to someone else refusing to do their paid job. There no way 8 could afford $50,000 out of pocket, or waste 4 years at 38 to get a degree with no reasonable chance at getting a job. I'd have to pay several times more, go to one of the top ivy league schools just to get a 20+% chance if receiving what is termed "substantial gainful employment", which would more than likely be 60 hours a week at the local $10.75 minimum wage, which up until the last ~2 years, was one of the jihad minimums in the entire country.

So thank you for your input. I don't expect you to read this. There are far too many words present due to autism. But please don't presume to understand the legitimate struggles of people on "first world" countries, many of whom are not treated well if they fail to be born white male, and upper class. We are reminded of the birth caste system in India, of which I read about many office employees usually men, who are born into the "wrong caste" and are actively discriminated on in US workplaces, even inside global multinational corporations such as Microsoft and Amazon. Occasionally to the point of being murdered for it.

I don't believe that many people have a truly good and privileged existence. I don't make those assumptions except about sociopaths who think they can rightly victimize others and get away with it through manipulation, lying, and money. People, including yourself, could stand to be a lot more empathetic and kind. It's not required of you but it does help others who may or may not be worse off than you or I. Thanks.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Another thing that's becoming more and more an issue as more young people get diagnosed, is that the FAA considers ADHD and other attention-deficit conditions to be disqualifying as well. If you're taking medication for ADHD or similar conditions and want to be a pilot, you're dead in the water until you get off them and can show that you don't have some kind of attention difficulty.

The military treats ADHD the same way and won't take anyone who's used meds for it in the past year. That's the official line, anyway. In reality, recruiters tell candidates to lie about the meds ("everybody does it") and to stay off them long enough to pass the urine test.

That's interesting. I wonder if that makes people with ADHD ineligible for the draft? I wouldn't be mad about that. I'm also kind of curious about their reasoning. Is it fear that they won't be able to keep a steady supply of medication all the time (i.e. delivering Adderal to the front lines might not be easy), and that people with ADHD become a liability without it? Amphetamines seemed fairly successful for the Nazis during the invasion of France, although the rate that they gave them out at ended in massive addiction. The optics on doing something similar to Nazis is pretty bad, though.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#215

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The author mentions problems with speech processing, speaking, sensory overload, sleeping, getting out of bed, eating, smells, textures, and navigation. None of those problems were created by society Your understanding of the neurodiversity movement isn't correct. Neither the article nor the movement in general claims that society "created" her difficulty performing those things. The neurodiversity movement points ou…

What sort of mental gymnastics does it take to convince yourself not being able to walk isn't inherently bad? Not being able to walk is bad. Not being able to fly is bad. Not being immortal is bad. Inabilities are bad regardless of what the "normal" state is. Society and accommodation could make up for 90% of the downsides but being confined to a wheelchair will never be a neutral status.

> Society and accommodation could make up for 90% of the downsides

Why not 100%? For every downside you can come up with, can't you imagine some possible way for society to make up for it? Here's a simple one: calculate the value of whatever the disabled person is missing out on, and pay them a cash compensation.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#216

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Another thing that's becoming more and more an issue as more young people get diagnosed, is that the FAA considers ADHD and other attention-deficit conditions to be disqualifying as well. If you're taking medication for ADHD or similar conditions and want to be a pilot, you're dead in the water until you get off them and can show that you don't have some kind of attention difficulty.

The military treats ADHD the same way and won't take anyone who's used meds for it in the past year. That's the official line, anyway. In reality, recruiters tell candidates to lie about the meds ("everybody does it") and to stay off them long enough to pass the urine test.

1) If you're normal-weighted and can do the pushups, the recruiter will do a lot of effort on your behalf.

2) Because military recruiters are under tremendous pressure to get enlistments. They can be court-martialled if they miss quota.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#217
post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why don't you just live in the parking lot? 4 hours is insane

I know you're probably suggesting this in good faith, but this being among the first solutions to be suggested might be one of the most Silicon-Valley things I've ever seen.

When I worked at Google, a friend of mine lived in the parking lot. He had BBQs there. This was a decade ago but it's not nearly as crazy as it sounds. He could park his RV at B42 but he was plenty comfortable in the Pi lot.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#218
post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why don't you just live in the parking lot? 4 hours is insane

Parking lot? A truely motivated employee who cares about his job will sleep on a bedroll stored neetly under their desk. Mobility is only an issue for those slackers who choose to spend time away from the office. (I say this as i, in all honesty, will be sleeping on a couch at work this christmas. Im in the military. There are some few jobs that require literally sleeping in your office and i was just volunteered/vol…

It's not legal. The buildings are not zoned for housing. Google interns learned this the hard way. You are not allowed to sleep at a Google office for more than three days in a row and you must have a permanent residence on file. Shipping packages to the office is OK but personal mail is not. Unless those packages are big knives or empty shell casings for reloading. (That was learned by an acquaintance.)

Re: Am I Disabled?

#219
post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife appears to be incredibly fit and she is. She's able bodied, thin but not sickly so and strong. She has great muscle definition. Her skin looks healthy. She is often taken for being a decade or more younger than she actually is. She spends half her week pleading with medical staff or arguing with insurance about why the drugs and procedures shouldn't be denied. Her eyesight is rapidly degenerating. She's has d…

Sorta sounds like me. I have smooth and young-looking skin, but it's because my collagen is messed up. My joints come apart everywhere in my body, I get woozy from standing or even sitting for long, and I'm developing a host of spinal and nerve problems. I'm expected to need PT, braces and probably more for the rest of my life. But I can walk, and I look young, so I had a hell of a time getting diagnosed. And I felt…

I'm so very sorry for you. It pains me to see her going through this an know it's exponentially worse for her. She can't even hold our toddler and dance with her any more. It's been so long that she doesn't even think to ask. Faddy dances and mommy sings.

Re: Am I Disabled?

#220
post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My wife appears to be incredibly fit and she is. She's able bodied, thin but not sickly so and strong. She has great muscle definition. Her skin looks healthy. She is often taken for being a decade or more younger than she actually is. She spends half her week pleading with medical staff or arguing with insurance about why the drugs and procedures shouldn't be denied. Her eyesight is rapidly degenerating. She's has d…

That sounds awful. My wife has Stills and went through a similar experience before getting a diagnosis. Has she been seen by a rheumatologist? Her symptoms seem vaguely auto-immune/inflammatory. https://rarediseases.org/rare-diseases/reactive-arthritis/

She's on her second one. They suspect something auto immune buy all her symptoms are peripherally related to solid indicators. For example, most people might have IBS or chrones but she developed diverticulosis. In the ballpark but not quite right.

Edit: something in the RA realm is what they suspect but it's hard to be conclusive because she has symptoms but no markers.

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