131–140 of 140 posts
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The "I could never date..." girl could have been an opening to challenge her a bit. If you want to date more you just have to come up with some good zingers to counter their "shit-test".
But do you want to live your life passing tests? At this point, I'd rather be alone the rest of my life than live a fake life passing tests.
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Except for the fact that we know people with lower income become wealthier than peoeple with lower incomes. And we know that the poverty rate for married lower income people is twice as low as the poverty rate for singles.
> Except for the fact that we know people with lower income become wealthier than peoeple with lower incomes. And we know that the poverty rate for married lower income people is twice as low as the poverty rate for singles. We dont know that. Unmarried lower income people are more likely to have criminal record, more likely to have mental health issues, more likely to be the ones having hard time to keep jobs, more…
https://www.stlouisfed.org/publications/in-the-balance/2018/...
The fact that a college educated person earns less than what you claim is a mentally unwell, non job having drug addict is sad but no all to unobvious. Why would you think a teaching degree or psych degree major would earn more over their lifetime than a plumber or construction worker.
The fact is single women benefit the most financially from marriage since single uneducated and college educated women have a much higher than average poverty rate.
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> underwater basket weaving Do such smart people really still think this of subjects that don't have a pre-drawn straight line to a comparable paycheque to their own?
The fact that kids go for art in a state school that isn't renowned for their art program says yes. There's nothing wrong with going for underwater basket weaving if you know and have a plan to do just that. The average college student just associates that student loans == "worry about it later!" && Student loan == "I'll get a 50-60k job out of college no problem!"
I'm sorry, but I disagree in so many ways. Do you know how a school becomes renowned? Even then, there are countless people who have thrived without pedigree, without renown, and taken a path less cut-and-dried. I dread a world where such a narrow path is prescribed and must be adhered to. Reminds me of the puritans.
The entire purpose of an arts education is exploration of humanity. Thank god people still naively pursue that endeavour.
To me it sounds like the problem actually lies in the systems of student loans, not people's spirit for venturing into the unknown of whether or not it will financially benefit them.
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I would say that you got unlucky so far, everybody struggles with something at some point in time, the kind of people worth keeping near know and respect that.
After multiple decades without so much as a kiss, I think "luck" as a factor can be moved to the bottom of the list of explanations. Like I said, I went into it with my eyes open. I didn't expect anyone to give me a cookie or anything. It's just that the generalized hostility was unexpected.
The answers you seek you will not find in Hacker News, I will not link to anything I do hope you encounter the solutions to your problems, as I did once myself after struggling with dating, some time ago.
I have been taking care of my elderly mother, who would be vaguely defined as "not well" in the Southern sense of things, since my twenties. I did go into it with my eyes open, knowing the kinds of tradeoffs I was making. I could live alone, but this was a choice I made to help her. However, I was unprepared in the extreme for the ambient hostility toward men who live with their mothers, no matter the reason. I do no…
The only reason I mention that is because I recently started dating a man (not exclusively yet) who has just moved in with his Mom to save money and buy a home. I live with my Mom, who has Parkinson's, to help her.
I do not judge him remotely and find him incredibly attractive regardless. The only person who is ashamed is him! The logistics are the only issue, but we make enough that I don't mind renting out AirBnBs etc...
He is being financially responsible, and I am taking care of the woman who sacrificed her life for me to achieve my dreams and is now unwell.
Be proud, and screw those women with double standards who fail to look a little deeper. It's sexism. A lot of women unfortunately hold this stigma, but there are women like us out there who don't. Keep looking.
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What is your point? This seems pointlessly blame-y. Those who just graduated from high school and entered college have been told by figuratively-literally everyone that that is what they should do. Then they do it, and it turns out it is a terrible idea for a variety of reasons and there is an ill-timed pandemic that cuts off the few reasonable opportunities that they might have otherwise had. But sure, let's blame t…
When I was in college, just starting out, I knew that making money after college is important and that certain fields that may be interesting, such as literature and psychology, don't provide a clear path to making a living. This didn't seem a secret, but many of my colleague students explicitly waved off such concerns. They "didn't care about money". So I chose computer science and many of them went with anthropolog…
As for the other part: I was told, explicitly, that thinking about college as a jobs-training experience was the wrong approach. Learning how to think, how to write, how to organize ideas, that was valuable in and of itself. And maybe at some time, it was true. With a degree in the '70s, you could get in to a lot of sensible middle-class jobs, even in art-history and psychology.It turned out not to be true [edit: when I was in college, not in the '70s], but I was ill equipped to understand that.
I also suspect that you have only the most superficial understanding of your cohort's motivations, yet seem absolutely confident in your analysis. I wonder if a course in psychology or philosophy would have benefited you some.
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The fact that kids go for art in a state school that isn't renowned for their art program says yes. There's nothing wrong with going for underwater basket weaving if you know and have a plan to do just that. The average college student just associates that student loans == "worry about it later!" && Student loan == "I'll get a 50-60k job out of college no problem!"
So pedigree is both important and not important? I'm sorry, but I disagree in so many ways. Do you know how a school becomes renowned? Even then, there are countless people who have thrived without pedigree, without renown, and taken a path less cut-and-dried. I dread a world where such a narrow path is prescribed and must be adhered to. Reminds me of the puritans. The entire purpose of an arts education is explorati…
The reason kids go to college is to get a good paying job. I hate to say it but if you're a kid who does not have affluent parents or don't live in an area where there actually are legitimate jobs in that field, it's 100% on you for doing that. I mean the opinion that those jobs don't exists isn't a stereotype for a reason. Students can get those jobs, but there most definitely aren't where they went to college typically. If you live in LA, Chicago, NYC; sure those could very well be viable career paths. In the middle of Idaho? Maybe you should reconsider who in Idaho is going to hire an artist outside of the small town that is their capital.
Sometimes reality needs to bite people who are incapable of making goals long term.
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Increases in housing and healthcare costs have been absolutely dwarfing wage growth in most major metros, for decades now. This "it's your fault for majoring in gender studies" meme is a red herring. There was a time in the U.S. where one parent could support a family and purchase a house while the other stayed at home with the kids. With nothing more than a high school diploma.
Additionally, only a small percentage of grads major in the humanities and social sciences despite all the hype and blame such subjects get . https://greyenlightenment.com/how-popular-are-gender-studies... most people major in more 'actionable' subjects such as business, nursing, phycology, etc.
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When I was in college, just starting out, I knew that making money after college is important and that certain fields that may be interesting, such as literature and psychology, don't provide a clear path to making a living. This didn't seem a secret, but many of my colleague students explicitly waved off such concerns. They "didn't care about money". So I chose computer science and many of them went with anthropolog…
"I suffered, so they should too". That's all I have to say about your fury. As for the other part: I was told, explicitly, that thinking about college as a jobs-training experience was the wrong approach. Learning how to think, how to write, how to organize ideas, that was valuable in and of itself. And maybe at some time, it was true. With a degree in the '70s, you could get in to a lot of sensible middle-class jobs…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
So pedigree is both important and not important? I'm sorry, but I disagree in so many ways. Do you know how a school becomes renowned? Even then, there are countless people who have thrived without pedigree, without renown, and taken a path less cut-and-dried. I dread a world where such a narrow path is prescribed and must be adhered to. Reminds me of the puritans. The entire purpose of an arts education is explorati…
I would argue a traditional education in the humanities with the internet era is a moot point. You can do that without going into debt slavery via college loans. Instead of learning from a professor, watch some guy on youtube. Practice a lot. Make stuff. Join the literally endless communities that do the stuff you're doing. The reason kids go to college is to get a good paying job. I hate to say it but if you're a ki…
I would argue this is proof that you don't understand the nature of an education in the humanities. (For the record, I say this as an English major dropout who's working as a software developer)
> The reason kids go to college is to get a good paying job. I hate to say it but if you're a kid who does not have affluent parents or don't live in an area where there actually are legitimate jobs in that field, it's 100% on you for doing that. I mean the opinion that those jobs don't exists isn't a stereotype for a reason. Students can get those jobs, but there most definitely aren't where they went to college typically. If you live in LA, Chicago, NYC; sure those could very well be viable career paths. In the middle of Idaho? Maybe you should reconsider who in Idaho is going to hire an artist outside of the small town that is their capital.
I went because I wanted to learn something and dig a little deeper into life that wasn't available or remotely present in my rural working-class community, or from my non-affluent parents. I didn't finish so I don't have the pedigree, but I did live and learn a great deal, and it's paid dividends. I'm, oddly, precisely your example, but of a mode that you say doesn't exist.
It's also dishonest to propose that the only pursuit of humanities is to try and eek life out as an artist alone. I mean, I'm sure you value historians.
I have to admit I'm confused by the arbitrary limitations you're imposing on the way one must live out their life. A degree in a given field is not a declaration of intent, it's a mark of study. You can do whatever you want. Some roads have prerequisites for taking them, others don't. And sometimes still, there are roads that are yet uncut.
Maybe what you're really talking about is how easy or hard a given path might be and then associating that with some kind of right or wrong. Efficient path navigation is not the purpose of humanities study or works. It's about discovering what we do not discover through science. Not even science is the end, just another method of discovery. The tangents are the purpose, and reflecting on those in any number of ways is the meaning... leaving the path navigation efficiency algorithms to slime mould.