[deleted]
My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone
51–60 of 467 posts
Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone
#52The problem isn’t the phone, is that she’s being socialized into adulthood by a bad influence: the crowd. Not just her friends at school, but the national and global crowd she can access through the phone.
You can stop it, but you won’t. The messages we give to girls now are awful. They are taught by the crowd to freely wield their sexual and social power instead of being taught to use it thoughtfully. This power is intoxicating and can only be tamed by strong values. They will be indoctrinated against your “outdated” parental authority. Their “heroes” will be criminals and bad women like Cardi B. If you really want to stop that, pull her out of the school she’s going to, find a ‘conservative’ school to send her to, and spend time teaching your values at home. You probably won’t do any of this. It’s not the phone, it’s the values and who is teaching them. And right now, that’s not you.
Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone
#53> Somewhere along the way, I realize that apps like TikTok and Instagram are impervious to Apple’s Screen Time limit. They work even when the rest of her phone shuts down. To keep the peace, I let it slide.
The author is completely wrong about this, so I can only assume that their kid is indeed being creative and has manipulated them into believing it.
Overall... this does seem like an "onset of adolescence" thing. 20 years ago this author would have been bemoaning that their teenage daughter spent all day on the land-line with her friends.
Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone
#54Earlier quoted context omitted.
Oh, you read the article where a mother repeatedly says her 11 year old daughter is just like a crack addict because she prefers being on her phone to making her bed? The article where the mother admits to going into fits of rage and punishes the 11 year old child for doing nothing that isn't normally tolerated even in this already very strict household? The article where this mother of an 11 year old blames nothing…
Nine hours on a phone during the day is normal for an eleven year old? That sounds like a problem.
Having never been an 11 year old girl in a pandemic, I can't really speak to what "normal" is. Based on the the girl's behavior as described in the article, it certainly has had no noticeable negative effects.
Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone
#55My dad smashed my computer around the laundry (where the computer lived) with my cricket bat because I was "playing games" instead of studying. "playing games" was using assembly language and pascal with s3m libraries to program a game. With my kids I've felt the rise of anger when they want to be autonomous and pursue their own interests. I mean, I was taught that parenthood is subjugation. But just like my dad coul…
You are a lucky one, because at that time to your interests in computing would lead to job opportunities. I’m afraid it is not so with an iPhone. Our phones take without giving. Now excuse me I should probably log off and do something useful.
My daughter has learned a lot about video editing, having fallen into the "Gatcha Life" community. It's a legitimate life skill.
Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone
#56Title is completely misleading. The problem has nothing to do with an iPhone. It has 100% to do with bad parenting. The author even acknowledges this, but I guess blaming the iPhone gets more clicks than "Poor parenting harms child".
During the rise of smart phones I wouldn’t have blamed parents. It was an unknown, assumed to be like tv (which the article states) But with everything we know now, there’s no excuse. Parents are being irresponsible letting their child have a smart device. A ten year old? Forget it.
I think it's easy to say, but harder to apply when the said ten years old is reporting all their friends has a smartphone and as such they're missing on social events, private jokes or made fun of.
My niece went through that and my sister caved in. I get it. I'm with you in principle but the reality is harder than that in my opinion.
Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone
#57My dad smashed my computer around the laundry (where the computer lived) with my cricket bat because I was "playing games" instead of studying. "playing games" was using assembly language and pascal with s3m libraries to program a game. With my kids I've felt the rise of anger when they want to be autonomous and pursue their own interests. I mean, I was taught that parenthood is subjugation. But just like my dad coul…
Isn't a boy coding assembly a bit different than a girl doing TikTok, OnlyFans etc.?
Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone
#58Earlier quoted context omitted.
That's a bit like saying addictive drugs themselves aren't a problem. Technology is designed to trick humans into engaging with it. They use us for profit. It's asymmetric warfare. One or two parents, with jobs and responsibilities, against kids with peer pressure and billion dollar industries hawking them on, claws in their back and brain.
> That's a bit like saying addictive drugs themselves aren't a problem. I mean... They're not. They're inanimate f----- objects. They've never maliciously set out to cause someone harm because they're inanimate f----- objects. They don't have an understanding of the concept of morals or ethics because they're inanimate f----- objects. When I ingest them into my body -- that's when all hell breaks loose. They become a…
> They're not. They're inanimate f----- objects. [...] They become a problem for me when I use them.
In common usage of the english language, a thing can be a 'problem' without being sentient or unavoidable.
A pothole in the highway can be a problem if it's damaging people's cars - even if they could avoid it by driving more cautiously.
Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone
#59How is this “iPhone” fault? “Smartphone” isn’t good for SEO anymore?
The share of iPhone for today's teenagers is much higher than the regular population. Much of it from the natural progression from old iPod Touches, where they built their accounts, apps etc. Looks like 85% share in the US: http://www.pipersandler.com/2col.aspx?id=287&releaseid=18206
It’s not about smartphones, same thing was years ago with “I bought my child a PC, and now he’s stop doing anything...”. It’s bad parenting, addictive social media’s or games that’s responsible for that, not device itself.
Re: My daughter was a creative genius, and then we bought her an iPhone
#60Earlier quoted context omitted.
That's a bit like saying addictive drugs themselves aren't a problem. Technology is designed to trick humans into engaging with it. They use us for profit. It's asymmetric warfare. One or two parents, with jobs and responsibilities, against kids with peer pressure and billion dollar industries hawking them on, claws in their back and brain.
> That's a bit like saying addictive drugs themselves aren't a problem. I mean... They're not. They're inanimate f----- objects. They've never maliciously set out to cause someone harm because they're inanimate f----- objects. They don't have an understanding of the concept of morals or ethics because they're inanimate f----- objects. When I ingest them into my body -- that's when all hell breaks loose. They become a…
So, how about when your schoolwork requires you to 'ingest the drugs', you visit YouTube to watch the video your teacher picked out (they did a bad job IMO, but hey) ... then you're supposed to leave [cold turkey!] and get on with your work, except the website is highly animate and designed carefully to entice you to stay. All of a sudden you're spending the afternoon watching dross on YT because kids lack self-control and companies know how to exploit that.
Of course there's some blame goes to the teacher, but hey.
I think your response is disingenuous.
Aside, I don't know what tech you're using but mines all been blinken-lights and conditioned-response dings (by default) for years.
There is certainly a conflict, OP might have been slowly melodramatic in their choice of words but just as casinos foster their whales, so too tech companies use the psychology of addiction against consumers.