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Ask HN: Are you depressed?

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Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#271

Post by HighlandSpring »

TOMDM wrote: post #47
briefcomment wrote: post #16

Holy crap, that's a way higher percentage than I was expecting. What are some of the reasons you all have for being depressed? Also, is this possibly a self selective poll? Are non depressed people not bothering to answer?

As someone who has suffered from depression in the past, I'd like to borrow Steven Fry's words on depression: “You don’t get depressed because bad things happen to you. . .depression is something that happens like weather to you, it’s inside you. . .it’s not enough to talk yourself out of it by saying, ‘but I shouldn’t be depressed because I’ve got people who are nice to me’. . .It’s very important, at least to get t…

What is the country that has nearly eradicated covid?

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#272

Post by bananamerica »

swat535 wrote: post #186

Nowhere else to post this so here it goes. I lost my job in January. From January - March I started looking for a job and then COVID hits at the height of my search, now suddenly no one is hiring and all the businesses are slowing down. My girlfriend of 13 years left me the day after my birthday in June before I had a chance to propose to her, I had to return the ring, she had no idea and I never told her about it. I…

Holy shit. Couldn’t she wait like a week or so? We’re things that bad?

No disrespect, but good thing you’re not marrying her.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#273

Post by throwaway8451 »

Subsentient wrote: post #264
flightless wrote: post #255

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Favorite death metal bands?

Swallow the Sun, Be'lakor, Draconian, Dark Tranquillity, Insomnium, Evocation. I'm big into melodic death metal. This single, 30 minute song was my soundtrack for the commute right before the pandemic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvIoVj9RdgQ Lately, I've been listening to Under a Godless Veil by Draconian, it just came out on Oct 30th. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2lGs75svWhlB0B7SS4Ke...

I used to listen to lots of metal (In Flames, Iced Earth, Dimmu Borgir, also things like Hypocrisy, Pain (Peter Tägtgren) or Paradise Lost, plus good old stuff like Maiden) and sadly it felt like it had quite an effect on my mood. It matched my mood, sure but it wasn't helpful. For years.

Now - don't laugh! - I am listening to 80s synthwave compilations on Youtube all day long. 80s synthwave! - I can't think of any other music genre that sounds more lighthearted and unworried and it really helps to brighten my mood. The effect is enormous.

Other things I currently do to keep my sanity is lots of walking. The effect of physical excercise on me is pretty great but I really need to get the heart pumping and to sweat. This is as easy as putting on too many layers of cloths for the temperature/activity and a few inclines/hills also helps. Being out in the sun (if the schedule makes it possible) and at the fresh air also improves my mood. Walking through a forest also soothes my mind. Also: walking faster than I normally would helps because I need to concentrate to walk faster than I normally would - which means I can't think of anything else i.e. it is actually keeping my mind free of other (sometimes negative) thoughts.

Neither of this actually solves your problems of course but it might help to cope with some of their effects and put you mentally in a spot where you can better reason about solutions.

Let me know if there is anything you want to talk about and all the best!

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#274

Post by bananamerica »

DangitBobby wrote: post #224
swat535 wrote: post #186

Nowhere else to post this so here it goes. I lost my job in January. From January - March I started looking for a job and then COVID hits at the height of my search, now suddenly no one is hiring and all the businesses are slowing down. My girlfriend of 13 years left me the day after my birthday in June before I had a chance to propose to her, I had to return the ring, she had no idea and I never told her about it. I…

I find that Reddit sucks the joy out of my day. There's just something about that site.

Don’t open it. Block. Uninstall.

(tildes.net is pretty wholesome)

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#275

Post by pedro1976 »

swat535 wrote: post #186

Nowhere else to post this so here it goes. I lost my job in January. From January - March I started looking for a job and then COVID hits at the height of my search, now suddenly no one is hiring and all the businesses are slowing down. My girlfriend of 13 years left me the day after my birthday in June before I had a chance to propose to her, I had to return the ring, she had no idea and I never told her about it. I…

Thats tough. My usual strategy to cope with situations like this is to sign up as a part-time waiter. Its quite physical job, which is good, cause physical work is satisfying in itself, and you have a lot of positive social interactions. This usually distracts me enough and offers enough socialization to be emotionally stable. Maybe this helps. Good luck!

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#276

Post by ronyfadel »

firekvz wrote: post #123

Not depressed myself but like 90% of the people I know is depressed, and it has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me, I live in a country with a huge economic crisis that have led people to the most horrible suffering you can imagine without being in a war state. Most of the causes for the depression are systematically caused by the government, people even ignore their mental health and are just struggling to surv…

If you’d had said, “my country is Lebanon”, and all the same would apply. Government is absent, currency lost 80% value, banks blocked people’s savings. 90% of the people around me are depressed.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#277

Post by justforthisnow »

I wonder..

The relationship fell apart, the startup is struggling

I am now playing videogames for 8hours on Friday and Saturday. And this week I am back to browsing cybersex type chats which were out of the picture for 5 years and I thought I kicked the habit. I am not even stimulated by them.

I hope I will deeply understand how useless all this hiding is and get back to social life.

But with ADHD meds you get into this loop.

Also covid messed up the sport my Vilks score dropped from 1370 to maybe 1200 and it’s just soul crushing

I am 37 and no kids, no girlfriend just a semi-failing startup. If not for the parents I think I’d be seriously considering the S-word, but I just can’t to this to them.

I think the problem is that I just don’t really care about myself - I eat only because I am clinging on to gym performance and knowing something is doing damage to my body or my personality doesn’t really matter. We are all just dust. I sometimes envy people who actually put their ego first and care about themselves so much.

Hell I quit smoking only because I wanted to win this girl, the most beautiful one, the queen. And it was a cool challenge to stop smoking so she never knows I did. And now she’s gone and it was a doomed relationship anyways

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#278

Post by Jaruzel »

I'm reminded I'm depressed every time I take my anti-depressants. I know that I can't survive without them, having tried to come off them a few times, and going to a very dark place each time.

The hardest step when living with depression is doing something about it.

I wasted a decade of my life ignoring the signs. Don't be like me. If you think you are depressed, or even if you feel the world is just too hard to live in, go seek help. Your friends and family will thank you.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#279

Post by mcphilip »

I’ve been feeling the physical symptoms I associate with depression, but not the changes to cognition. I feel like I’m wearing an iron mask, if that makes any sense. Really heavy head with what feels like a layer of numbness between me and my surroundings. I have an appointment to talk about it with a doctor next week since I don’t want to spiral into something worse.

It’s odd to me that I’m not having the cognitive changes I associate with depression, like inability to focus or an overwhelming sense of dread. I’m surprised that things haven’t spiraled cognitively after 7 months of WFH and social distancing. I’m grateful to have a super energetic dog that needs walking twice a day, at least.

I usually use throw aways when talking about this kind of thing, but am trying to get better at doing my part to raise awareness of mental health issues in this field.

What have people found are the best ways to help normalize dealing with mental health issues in our industry?

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#280

Post by cambaceres »

Until recently, I was.

Every day before going to work I had anxiety. My workplace was extremly toxic, people talking behind each others back etc.

I got home and instead of hanging out with my gf and 6 months baby I escaped into video games, or news. For some reason, I blamed my family for my shitty life, and where mean to my gf.

I used to read a lot of books and be interested in a lot of stuff before, but the recent years all I have had energy for has been to browse my normal time killing websites. In my mind, the reason for this was that I was getting older (just turned 35).

Anyway, a while ago I got a "moment of clarity" that I just had to change my current path or give up completely and start drinking or something. I quit my job without having a new job. The first week after quitting nothing changed really, but week 2 then things really started to happen. The heavy anxiety in my stomach dissapeared. This in turn enabled me to do more stuff.

Another thing I did was deleting my Facebook account. I have been wanting to do that for years, but I have always resisted since I would then lose my way of communicating with a lot of "friends". Anyway, after a few days of that, I somehow felt that my head felt clearer. I was no longer filled with other peoples bullshit thoughts.

Inspired by this, I stopped reading newspapers online and started buying paper versions instead. That also had a positive impact on me.

My relationship with my family got sooooo much better. I started to having long conversation with my gf, something I realized I had barely had for a lot of time. Also, I started to feel all these feelings when being with my kid, and I am so happy that I now can be in the moment with her.

In two weeks I will start my new job. I don't know how it will be, but I know that if it sucks, I will talk about it with my gf instead of escaping into the internet.

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