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Ask HN: Are you depressed?

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241–250 of 512 posts

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#241

I'm fighting every day to keep the depression at bay. I've been through the same thing as every one else this year, plus my sister took her on life in March and my startup that was flying in February, has been hammered by the pandemic. I felt like I was about to slide back into depression in May. I needed something that I could accomplish that was completely within my control. I decided to start lifting weights. It h…

How can you start a gym hobby during quarantine? Haven't been to a gym in 8 months even though I still pay my pricy membership just to support them.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#242
post #22

I'm not a doctor, of course, but for those who are depressed, but where it's not debilitating, or where you are not suffering from some kind of clinical depression where you need medical attention, I highly recommend that you immediately purchase the book "Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life" by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, and put that information into practice as soon as you can.

I would recommend a motorcycle instead

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#243

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This may sound stupid, but you can try looking up the stories of people who had really hard luck and struggled, and finally were able to make a life for themselves. Their stories can remind you that even after enduring incredible hardships, you can overcome them, even if you don't know how yet. I also suggest meditating on death and life. Ask yourself what's the worst thing that could happen. Usually it's not death,…

You are of course right and if I stop and think about it rationally, everything is relatively alright. The thing is that I've had to deal with a lot of health issues over the past decade and it's very disheartening to go without a proper diagnosis and treatment for so long. Compared to my old self, I'm definitely playing life on hard mode and I just don't have the energy for it any longer. Im not afraid of death. Cea…

It seems like you’re struggling alone. There will be someone you can talk to regardless of your means and who can find you people and resources so you’re not struggling alone. Call a suicide hotline for your country, talk to a therapist, call a Priest, but make a connection and stop suffering alone. You matter. I might be just a person on the internet but I’m praying for you.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#244
post #73
post #65

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yea, that book is great. Another book, which includes those ideas and many others, is "The Resilience Factor" by Karen Reivich and Andrew Shatte.

I want to jump on and suggest a CBT book - Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns. It is the single biggest factor for helping me out of depression.

I wish more people here could read/listen to some of Dr Burns works, I think his approach to feeling good is a lot like debugging and testing. He gets patients to identify times they feel bad, and what they were doing and thinking when it started, then pick one specific item and work on it to try and help with it - not fixing "depression" as a whole problem, but helping someone get past "I feel hopeless when I think about my future", and then the next one, and the next one, until they feel good.

He starts with testing where the patient rates their feelings such as sadness, anxiety, depression, etc. on a scale of 1-10 before every therapy session, then works through one of these events of bad feelings - what triggers it, why, trying different techniques to help get past it, and finishes a couple of hours later with the same test to see if the symptoms improved. Test-driven therapy, honing in on techniques which help people feel better quickly, and rejecting those which don't.

He works on distorted thinking patterns and practicing rebalancing them. e.g. when you feel bad in some way, some of these patterns might be happening: https://worksheets.ambrasta.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/p... can you notice them as they happen and use these approaches to change them when they happen: https://glassempty.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/10ways.png

His more recent work is on identifying and unhooking the thought patterns which resist change, which say "I deserve to be miserable" or "I should feel guilty it's my fault", or "my boss is superior so I have to feel inferior" and then developing techniques to change those.

It's a very practical kind of therapy - not ten years of talking, not digging through a lifetime of history, or making grand diagnoses, but what can help you feel better about a specific thing next week, this week, today?

Related, his Feeling Good podcast series - contains a lot of updated ideas and techniques since the first book was written - https://feelinggood.com/list-of-feeling-good-podcasts/

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#245

Extremely. Mostly can't focus, can barely get out of bed at all some days. Some people are trying to help with various aspects of this, and they're doing some good, but they're poorly coordinated and there's secondary damage when they get things wrong. Out of money. I was trying to get my career back into play via Triplebyte + one or two contacts around the beginning of the year; I had some minor success, but my inte…

Speaking of which: I don't normally post things like this out of the blue, but if anyone has small software things they might be willing to commission me for within the next few-to-several months where turnaround time isn't “right now”, that could help a lot, so don't hesitate to poke me at my profile email address, low-effort one-liners accepted. (I have a partial source of work lined up for once I can focus again,…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#246
I was miserable before it was cool. Before the pandemic, I had a development job in the neighboring city.

I'd take a 2 hour commute each way, and when I got home, I'd immediately collapse, sleep, wake up, and head right back to work. I didn't check my phone, my voicemail, my email, or call anyone. Just sleep. I rarely ate.

I listened to a lot of death metal during that time. The pandemic hit, and I lost my job, then my apartment. I moved into an apartment with my elderly mother with dementia.

I still do some contract work for the old company, but I struggle with the bare minimum required to keep my old boss happy. Working at home is a fucking nightmare.

The loss of my decent paying job hosed my bankruptcy eligibility, so now I get to keep drowning in debt I have no means to pay off, while I try to find a way to get things back to normal.

Yeah, like many others here, I usually wish I could just die already. Sadly there are people who would be devastated if I departed. So, here I sit.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#247

Nowhere else to post this so here it goes. I lost my job in January. From January - March I started looking for a job and then COVID hits at the height of my search, now suddenly no one is hiring and all the businesses are slowing down. My girlfriend of 13 years left me the day after my birthday in June before I had a chance to propose to her, I had to return the ring, she had no idea and I never told her about it. I…

I find that Reddit sucks the joy out of my day. There's just something about that site.

The world is burning in a lot of ways. Am I think the content on Reddit represents the realisation and fears of that.

I was getting super depressed lately and cut, as a result of that, almost all news, Reddit and Twitter out of my life.

The situation is just to crazy to deal with it every day.

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#249

Yes. I started a new job (software engineering again) at the start of the pandemic. I feel like I burned a bridge with my manager prior to leaving so ... I won't be able to return to that company in the future. Haven't really spoken to anyone outside of work (tiny company, too) since March. Left to my own devices at work. Haven't seen anyone in person since April. Spend most of my days online and alone. Attempted sui…

I'm sorry, man. I know what that's like. I've been down the whole rapid weight loss suicidal thing before myself. I used to wake up and cry, because I had to live for the rest of the day.

What kind of programming do you do?

Re: Ask HN: Are you depressed?

#250

I have existential depression. Or at least that's what Google tells me. Pretty close to nihilism. I don't believe life has any meaning. Hence I don't find anything worth doing. Yet I still do stuff. But life is depressingly hopelessly empty.

I try to pull what little joy out of life that I can. I think the only things that matter are what matters to us living things.

The best way to live your life is a type of compassionate hedonism I'd think.

Some things with too high a cost/reward ratio, like 10 more years of a college or something, I just won't do. I'm going to be dead in 50 years anyways, so what's the point?

Learning a new programming language? Maybe, but only if I like the language. Luckily I often enjoy learning.

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