I have a chronic condition that causes pain. One of the things I've learned, in as much as I can, is I don't tell anyone. I'd rather be rude than explain I'm in pain. Not because I don't appreciate sympathy. Not because I'm ashamed. It's because I don't want your advice on how to make the pain go away or to deal with it. I'm tired of advice. I've got too much advice. I try things, I research issues. I talk to doctors…
That sounds really frustrating and I think you've encapsulated what people who have these chronic conditions are feeling quite well. It seems like when people with pain decide to share what they're going through, they aren't looking for solutions -- they just want people to know what's happening and that their experience in that moment is affected by it, and they want you to understand that. I think this mindset is e…
I have been on the other end of that: when the father of a friend of mine passed away they explicitly said they did not want sympathy but instead to do something fun that night, and we did. Years later I still remember that because it felt somewhat as an eye-opener that people can just be that candid.