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Social anxiety is crippling my life, what can I do to stop it?

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Re: Social anxiety is crippling my life, what can I do to stop it?

#41

Post by mitsche »

bemmu wrote: post #23
mitsche wrote: post #15

I strongly recommend seeing a behavioral therapist. This is exactly the kind of thing they're trained for. It's what I did over a year ago, although for other reasons. It saved me a bunch of time and agony, although therapy can be pretty harsh sometimes as well. Regarding social anxiety: I was pretty much the same at your age, and I think the reason was simply a severe lack of self-esteem resulting in excessive self-…

What else did the professional tell you that helped? I'd rather just read a blogpost about it than pay per hour :)

What fooandbarify said. Especially: a therapist holds you accountable. He or she will try to keep you focused on things that are unpleasant to keep working on, which is necessary in order to overcome a problematic behavioral pattern, whereas without supervision you might waste a lot of time trying to find shortcuts or esoteric solutions that make you feel good about yourself for some time but ultimately fail to solve your problems (productivity pr0n, anyone?).

And keep in mind that a therapist is also -- to some extent -- an analyst. So he or she might expose things you wouldn't have been able to figure out yourself, either because you're not professionally trained, or because you're part of the problem.

And sorry, there's no such thing as therapy by proxy. It's a very interactive thing.

Re: Social anxiety is crippling my life, what can I do to stop it?

#42

Post by GFischer »

toblender wrote: post #38

Start a new hobby, either singing, or acting. That's how I confronted my social anxiety.

Several introverted coworkers swear by theater acting classes (and/or improv nowadays).

Seems to have done wonders for a few of them.

I've always meant to take some, but never got around to doing it (you can guess I'm prone to procrastinate :P ).

I did do some Tango classes, and I think they helped (though I'm still clumsy).

Re: Social anxiety is crippling my life, what can I do to stop it?

#43

Post by GFischer »

Nox wrote: post #32

Talk to a professional. It's possible an anti-anxiety medication could have a profound effect, or simply talking through the underlying thought process that's keeping you isolated may be the ticket. I have very similar thoughts and I can sympathize with how crappy it feels. I'm always worried that I'm doing or saying something stupid, and I can't really stop thinking that whoever I'm interacting with must think I'm a…

That's a good point. anxiousThrowawy, where are you located?

If you're in the Montreal area I might be able to find a therapist willing to work at least initially for free.

Re: Social anxiety is crippling my life, what can I do to stop it?

#44

Post by marajit »

Some people just aren't cut out for society. They're called outcasts and they're either stood on or revered as Gods, in India anyway. Here they're just stood on. Most important is not to have unreasonable expectations of how to fit in. Freedom from hope or fear - that's the goal. Watch your mind - that's the method. And if you like, send me your birthday, time & place and we look at the hand you were dealt: j.v.a.l.a.m.a.l.a@g.m.a.i.l.c.o.m

Re: Social anxiety is crippling my life, what can I do to stop it?

#45

Post by toblender »

GFischer wrote: post #42
toblender wrote: post #38

Start a new hobby, either singing, or acting. That's how I confronted my social anxiety.

Several introverted coworkers swear by theater acting classes (and/or improv nowadays). Seems to have done wonders for a few of them. I've always meant to take some, but never got around to doing it (you can guess I'm prone to procrastinate :P ). I did do some Tango classes, and I think they helped (though I'm still clumsy).

Life is all about practice. No one is born knowing. As for procrastination, I find identifying the very next step that can be done in 5 minutes can push a project forward. For example, acting classes, a possible first step is, spend 5 minutes on craigslist and see if there are any classes nearby. Call them up and inquire.

Re: Social anxiety is crippling my life, what can I do to stop it?

#46

Post by EvanK »

Step 1: Talk to a mental health professional. I know you probably think that whatever's bothering you isn't serious enough to talk to a shrink, but when you have no friends to confide in, that is EXACTLY what you need.

Step 2: Find people like you. Look on Meetup.com for groups of people with shyness or social anxiety. You'd be surprised how comfortable you can be in a group when you know everyone else in the group has the same irrational fear of social situations.

Two simple steps and, given time, you'll feel better and even start becoming more outgoing. You won't turn into an extrovert, but it's all a game of inches.

I also find that, in small and controlled doses AND ONLY IF YOU HAVE LOTS OF SELF CONTROL, social lubricants like alcohol or marijuana can also help to overcome social anxiety. Your mileage may vary, so always err on the side of caution and avoid anything of that nature that you don't KNOW for a fact that you can keep yourself in control of.

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