How to say no, for the people pleaser who always says yes

Post by throwanem » Wed, Sep 23, 2020, 12:20 PM UTC

gjm11 wrote: post #116

dannyw wrote: post #103

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you should consider the actual quantified risk to you and the community. For someone living alone for example and going to work drinks with 5 people, your risk of contracting COVID is very small. Your chance of developing serious complications from COVID is also very small. Your chance of spreading COVID to others, should you isolate once you develop symptoms, is also small. I highly recommend you research th…

> people our age So far as I can see, cheschire didn't say anything to indicate their age. Careful with those assumptions!

Post by pc86 » Wed, Sep 23, 2020, 12:24 PM UTC

column wrote: post #78

Natales wrote: post #34

No means a lot more than “no” most of the time. My mom was Jehovah’s Witness, so I was raised always to take care of “the appearances”, always being polite, even when you disagree. When I moved to the US back in 2000, I “discovered” people have freedom to think and say whatever they want (kind of) and it was OK to dissent. The pendulum went the other way, and I became a big fan of Bill Maher and the “it’s OK to be po…

> what people consider to be “the country of freedom” Yeah, no. It's a country where it is the norm to be fired on the spot and without recourse for something that has nothing to do with your job. Where cops can size any amount of money you have in your car for no reason. It's the motherland of profits and ads over privacy! US tries to sell itself as “the country of freedom” but I believe the world has come well awar…

Post by kody » Wed, Sep 23, 2020, 12:25 PM UTC

CreepGin wrote: post #6

I vaguely remember this being somewhat of a problem for me when I was much younger. But after getting married and having kids, saying No to requests became natural for me.

Post by nicky0 » Wed, Sep 23, 2020, 12:30 PM UTC

TeaDrunk wrote: post #128

partyboat1586 wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The obvious example is misgendering and the whole Jordan Peterson debacle comes to mind. >We're telling you, if you act like an asshole other people might not like it and that's fair. Trust me abrasive people understand this, some of them get off on it. >And that you can get fired for being an asshole. I agree if you're an asshole it is grounds for firing. I've worked with some real abusive dickheads before who shoul…

Jordan Peterson railed against a guideline that, from what I understand, had no consequences to him. He blew it up as if he was being persecuted but the actual law was just “hey please consider using people’s preferred pronouns”.

Post by partyboat1586 » Wed, Sep 23, 2020, 12:36 PM UTC

ritchiea wrote: post #131

partyboat1586 wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The obvious example is misgendering and the whole Jordan Peterson debacle comes to mind. >We're telling you, if you act like an asshole other people might not like it and that's fair. Trust me abrasive people understand this, some of them get off on it. >And that you can get fired for being an asshole. I agree if you're an asshole it is grounds for firing. I've worked with some real abusive dickheads before who shoul…

I dunno. Start a company where you only hire people with conservative views. Many people from marginalized backgrounds like myself grow up in a world where we have to hold our tongues about how we really feel about things to fit into a dominant culture. Otherwise we get denied opportunities. Boo fucking hoo you can't say exactly what you want at all times and get every possible opportunity and be celebrated as some k…