Earlier quoted context omitted.
>You have interpreted the parent exceedingly uncharitably. Perhaps I have. However, I don't see how much more "charitably" I can interpret what they wrote. Or do you think that I'm wrong in my assertion? >If one partner in a monogamous relationship suddenly announces that from that day forth there shall be no more sex, the other partner is certainly within their rights to be upset. I don't disagree with that statemen…
It doesn't sound as if you recognize the concept of an obligation at all. Yes, we all have agency. Locking someone in a room without their consent is illegal. Taking someone's money without their consent is illegal as well. But I am nevertheless obliged to remain at work until 5:30, and my boss is obliged to pay me. When we enter into relationships of any type with other people, we willingly sacrifice our agency in m…
Oh, I understand obligation very well.
I also understand relationships and communication too.
Despite the obligation you have to your employer/job, it's inappropriate for your boss to have you lick the dog shit he just stepped in off his shoes (okay, I guess if that's your job it may not be -- but that's pretty unlikely).
And it's just as inappropriate for you to demand that your partner, presumably someone you love and cherish, engage in acts they don't wish to engage in. Especially if you force the issue.
I'll go even farther and say that, for me, as a Dominant[0] who is both sadistic and cruel, I never engage in non-consensual activities with my partner (of seven years).
What's more, I don't guilt her or make her feel bad or so she'll do what I want.
Quite the contrary. I support and uplift her, so she can be the best person she can be.
Even in a relationship with an unequal power dynamic, consent is not optional. And yes, sometimes she does things she wouldn't choose to do in order to please me.
That said, even though I (through mutual consent) quite literally control her sexual life, I would never violate her limits or engage in anything non-consensual -- because I care about her and won't put her in a position where she feels she has no choice or is obligated to do anything.
In fact, if I thought that she felt that way, I'd immediately back off because her trust in, and respect for, me is way too important to our relationship.
And so this idea of "well, we're in an exclusive relationship, so you have to have sex with me even if you don't want to" rings really hollow.
Besides, if you're having sex with someone who really isn't into it, that's more masturbatory and selfish than it is an act of love.
And in that case, I'd rather go and stroke one out than make the person I'm supposed to be in love with do things she's not up for doing.