Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19 • Hacker News Board

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#111

Post by Apocryphon » Tue, Sep 08, 2020, 8:26 PM UTC

pojzon wrote: post #76

PeterisP wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well then, direct the anger at those who do the telling or the requiring.

That not always help but for sure will backfire at you. Im writing next part as a parent of two. We have in team people who take multiple days off due to taking care of children, often not even counting it as taking a day off. Management doesnt care and expects people who do not “exploit” their privilages to do work for 2-3-4 people. Its also not the way to go, but any comment about that is a hard “stop being so self…

Honestly, this is why labor unions could help even highly-paid occupations such as software engineering. There needs to be something to serve as a counterweight to management, especially during economic downturns when finding a new job is more difficult.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#112

Post by BluSyn » Tue, Sep 08, 2020, 8:26 PM UTC

liability wrote: post #21

rblatz wrote: post #2

A lot of this feels like people looking into their neighbor's bowl to see if they are getting more than them. Love him or hate him Louis C.K. has a great quote here “The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.” Times are tough, don't blame the parents for what they have to do, blame your management if…

I generally agree with that sentiment, but I'm not sure it's persuasive when expressed by somebody who will never have to worry about his bowl being empty (e.g. a successful celebrity like Louis C.K.)

https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/genetic

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#113

Post by WWLink » Tue, Sep 08, 2020, 8:26 PM UTC

ActorNightly wrote: post #80

strictnein wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Neither. The failure is with the team's manager. The team's leadership should have reduced the workload of the team. It starts at the top. I work at a (non-tech) Fortune 50 and the message from the CEO on down has been the same: take vacation, take care of your family, some priorities/projects for this year will not be met and that is fine.

Thats nice and all for a big established company. Smaller companies dont have this luxury, because execution is everything. The issue overall shouldnt be with extra workload, but with rewards. People without kids shouldnt be angry at having to pick up the slack, thats normal part of any business, but they def have the right to be angry at the management if they dont get rewarded for it

I've only worked for small companies. The one company that gave me a bad impression about how it treated its employees is the only one that ended up bankrupt.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#114

Post by grovellogic » Tue, Sep 08, 2020, 8:26 PM UTC

olliej wrote: post #33

codemac wrote: post #5

Personally, I struggle with these feelings as well. It seems nuts that someone working 50%+ less than someone else is going to keep all the same equity, vacation, and salary. Then again it seems nuts that they don't. All employees who had children or family members to care for before or after COVID get none of the same support. I don't think backpay is coming for those who were forced to take leave or even quit their…

But once your children get to a certain age they can take over a large amount of the work that childless people need to do themselves. In America it seems children are also expected to support their parents in retirement, which would mean the employers should be providing more retirement support for childless employees.

Maybe my perspective is skewed, but most of our parents in the US have many more retirement options than those of us working will. Our parents have been graced with Pension Plans, Social Security, and Medicare most of which will not exists or will be water down by the time we get to it. They have also benefited from a rise in home prices where they have been able to sell and downsize for a great profit. I don't know anyone from my age group taking care of there parents in anyway currently.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#115

Post by fizixer » Tue, Sep 08, 2020, 8:26 PM UTC

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #4

I am a middle-aged adult with no children who's worked at tech firms for the past couple decades. To be honest, the "resentment" of those without children have for "benefits" those with children get strikes me as extremely selfish, immature and displaying a total lack of empathy. This is time off specifically to take care of children, something now that has become exceedingly more difficult in Covid times. What's nex…

I have two babies:

- My pure math research (nothing to do with my day job). Possibly resulting in a part-time PhD program.

- My financial portfolio (again not related to my day job).

These two babies of mine are as precious and valuable to me (maybe more) than your human babies are to you. Oh, and they take way more time.

Do I get extra benefits as a parent of two babies?

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#116

Post by treeman79 » Tue, Sep 08, 2020, 8:27 PM UTC

eyesbear wrote: post #73

treeman79 wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have small elementary age kids. It’s rough. 8-10 interruptions the first couple hours of work. Then meltdown over being hungry. Then afternoon interruptions because they are bored. Lots of crappy reasons, but also because they want me to spend time with them. Also dealing with my own chronic illness. I was managing to cope/hide before Covid. Between it all is a sense of guilt of not getting enough done for work and n…

Did your kid like the cat you drew?

Very much

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#117

Post by MaximumYComb » Tue, Sep 08, 2020, 8:27 PM UTC

ll931110 wrote: post #12

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #4

I am a middle-aged adult with no children who's worked at tech firms for the past couple decades. To be honest, the "resentment" of those without children have for "benefits" those with children get strikes me as extremely selfish, immature and displaying a total lack of empathy. This is time off specifically to take care of children, something now that has become exceedingly more difficult in Covid times. What's nex…

The problem is, people without children are told (or required) to pick up the workload left behind when the coworkers having children taking (multiple) weeks off. For once or twice that might be okay, but if became a chronic problem, no wonder they are not happy.

If the employers offer parental leave after the birth of a child then the managers should factor that in to their work allocations. You cannot blame the employee for using a benefit that's part of their contract.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#118

Post by Ericson2314 » Tue, Sep 08, 2020, 8:28 PM UTC

icelancer wrote: post #64

strictnein wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Neither. The failure is with the team's manager. The team's leadership should have reduced the workload of the team. It starts at the top. I work at a (non-tech) Fortune 50 and the message from the CEO on down has been the same: take vacation, take care of your family, some priorities/projects for this year will not be met and that is fine.

>> The team's leadership should have reduced the workload of the team. This isn't always possible, especially given the target businesses that hang out here. This is just evading a tough question.

But we should never take "the target businesses that hang out here" as a "given".

If you aren't open to less working ours and less output, you will never get management's boot off your neck.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#119

Post by R0b0t1 » Tue, Sep 08, 2020, 8:28 PM UTC

hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #4

I am a middle-aged adult with no children who's worked at tech firms for the past couple decades. To be honest, the "resentment" of those without children have for "benefits" those with children get strikes me as extremely selfish, immature and displaying a total lack of empathy. This is time off specifically to take care of children, something now that has become exceedingly more difficult in Covid times. What's nex…

With this I think there is a unique take: typically those who feel comfortable having children are better off. Those who are better off get rewarded for having children. So it can be a "rich get richer" problem. If you are currently childless you might end up subsidizing your coworker's choice to have children to your detriment.

Re: Tech firms face growing resentment of parent employees during Covid-19

#120

Post by slg » Tue, Sep 08, 2020, 8:28 PM UTC

pojzon wrote: post #76

PeterisP wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Well then, direct the anger at those who do the telling or the requiring.

That not always help but for sure will backfire at you. Im writing next part as a parent of two. We have in team people who take multiple days off due to taking care of children, often not even counting it as taking a day off. Management doesnt care and expects people who do not “exploit” their privilages to do work for 2-3-4 people. Its also not the way to go, but any comment about that is a hard “stop being so self…

Dear boss,

My team is really struggling with the challenges that have come along with this global pandemic. Everyone is doing their best given the situation, but we aren't able to deliver the same level of productivity on a consistent basis. Can we setup a call to discuss adjusting expectations and shifting workloads in order to keep everything running as smoothly as possible?

Sincerely,

pojzon

There is an email template for you.