Dear parents: never let your kids lie, at any age. It might be cute when they're 3 or 4 or 5, but if you don't gently tell them that "we don't tell lies, we always tell the truth" it will become a habit they will carry into adulthood.
Pathological Lying: Theoretical and Empirical Support for a Diagnostic Entity
41–50 of 115 posts
Re: Pathological Lying: Theoretical and Empirical Support for a Diagnostic Entity
#42Obvious to many: After working for 13+ years at wildly successful silicon valley companies and seeing who climbs the latter, it is those who are good at lying. There is a spectrum ranging from blatant lying to manipulative, selective withholding of information.
Re: Pathological Lying: Theoretical and Empirical Support for a Diagnostic Entity
#43Earlier quoted context omitted.
That's just business talk, not lies.
Yea, "I'm fine" when you're really not, isn't a lie because there's no intent to deceive. No one actually expects you to tell you how you truly are when they ask "How are you?". So if anything, the initial question is more the lie because it implies concern for the person being asked when it's really just a salutation.
It's a matter of reading the person and situation. Sometimes if the person asking the question is in a context where I can tell they don't want an honest answer I just say "oh, how are you?" I'd rather evade the question than to say "I'm fine" when things are shitty.
Re: Pathological Lying: Theoretical and Empirical Support for a Diagnostic Entity
#44As an Aspie, (almost) every neurotypical person seems to be a pathological liar, not able to make a small talk without committing a few lies. Examples: "I am fine, thanks", "You look great!", "It is a wonderful idea!", "You are our best client", "For our company privacy is a priority", etc, etc.
It seems that socializing is a very subtle anthropological game, where the only goal is to feel a bit close to human beings without feeling bad, threatened and able to make some noises like the other peers. The rest is useless if not counter productive. Aspie probably want to turn spin their neuron to feel the joy of thinking.. most people absolutely don't want to think (maybe a result of natural limits... you can die thinking for too long but being a follower ensure better outcomes ?)
Re: Pathological Lying: Theoretical and Empirical Support for a Diagnostic Entity
#45As an Aspie, (almost) every neurotypical person seems to be a pathological liar, not able to make a small talk without committing a few lies. Examples: "I am fine, thanks", "You look great!", "It is a wonderful idea!", "You are our best client", "For our company privacy is a priority", etc, etc.
That's just business talk, not lies.
Re: Pathological Lying: Theoretical and Empirical Support for a Diagnostic Entity
#46Dear parents: never let your kids lie, at any age. It might be cute when they're 3 or 4 or 5, but if you don't gently tell them that "we don't tell lies, we always tell the truth" it will become a habit they will carry into adulthood.
Lying is actually a pretty well known psychological milestone, since deception requires that you hold two concepts in your head at once. Trying to stop that completely is a fool’s errand. Do you have any evidence to back up the assertion that lying too much at 4/5 is how one becomes a pathological liar?
Re: Pathological Lying: Theoretical and Empirical Support for a Diagnostic Entity
#47Earlier quoted context omitted.
That is useful obviously but won't work on everyone and makes parents deal with unnecessary guilt and shame when they are raising let's say a Donald. To the liars out there don't think there is something wrong with you. You have your purpose too - Google psychopathy or dark triad in the work place and know that Managers actually use/need you guys too, not just honest Abe. Basically we still live with a stone age leve…
Your "purpose" isn't determined by your manager's use for you.
Re: Pathological Lying: Theoretical and Empirical Support for a Diagnostic Entity
#48She was good at keeping track of who she told what lie, so this was the first time I'd been the 3rd party observer to something I could definitively know she was lying about. I confronted her about it later privately, " is our friend, why would you lie to her for no reason?" and she gave a dismissive non-answer.
That was the first loose thread that unraveled the whole sweater. It turned out she'd been lying to me and everyone close to her, about things big and small, for many years.
It's difficult for me to understand the psychology behind it, but I think it comes down to she feels alternately safer and superior when she knows some truth that someone else doesn't know. Her parents are estranged but stayed together, constantly low-key gas lighting each other. Maybe growing up in that environment is why she reflexively lies. Or maybe it's heritable and the lying leads to that kind of relationship. Either way, I wasn't going to live the same way and peaced out.
Re: Pathological Lying: Theoretical and Empirical Support for a Diagnostic Entity
#49Re: Pathological Lying: Theoretical and Empirical Support for a Diagnostic Entity
#50Dear parents: never let your kids lie, at any age. It might be cute when they're 3 or 4 or 5, but if you don't gently tell them that "we don't tell lies, we always tell the truth" it will become a habit they will carry into adulthood.