Maybe. I was very depressed trying to earn a BS CSEE degree that took me 13 years (1997-2009). I started with severe depression, anxiety, and ADHD but didn't know it and went untreated for most of the time. I did it, but went bankrupt, became homeless, couldn't hold a job, and still have $9k in loans held by Betsy DeVos' Navient that will never go away. Not sure I'm a good anecdotal example. Got it done, but at the cost of switching temp jobs only to not be hired back because the lab moved cities and reorganized. On SSI disability and Medicare now (which took about 7 years and a lawyer to get), which sucks because I don't want to depend on them. :(
Perseverance Toward Life Goals Can Fend Off Depression, Anxiety, Panic Disorders
111–120 of 266 posts
Re: Perseverance Toward Life Goals Can Fend Off Depression, Anxiety, Panic Disorders
#112But what are you sacrificing in return for your “perseverance”? Very few people tend to look at the mind as a system, and also seem to ignore that depression, anxiety, panic disorders, etc. happen for a reason. The reason why modern humanity have increased risk of these symptoms is because they know, given their perhaps wrongly learned models of the world or otherwise, that even when they achieve their so-called life…
I disagree, perseverance is not the same as goal-seeking for goal seeking's sake, or at least, it doesn't have to be. Twenty years ago I set a thirty year goal, literally bet my life on it. It wasn't until two years ago that I was reasonably sure it had a chance of success. I had to, and continue to basically give up everything, no one funds very long term research, so I had to learn to live on less than $200 a month…
I think this is a definitional disagreement. If what you mean by perseverance is the skill you practice to keep yourself going (while overall aligned in the general direction), then yes, I am all for it. But often goal-seeking for goal-seeking’s sake is somewhat coerced on others in the name of virtue, perseverance, etc. The old advice of “do something, don’t just stand there” is the example I am talking about.
But if you have found what you want to do and have set a reasonably long goal (30 years is dedication), then yes humans are imperfect and there will be bits and pieces of motivation still missing. But not many are fortunate to have this goal arising from within.
I like the “shower thoughts” test. Are your goals what you think about in the shower? If yes, then that is probably what you want.
Other story in the same line is “if you are trying to start a startup and you get discouraged by someone and consider not, you probably weren’t meant to do it in the first place.” (Peter Graham I think)
You really can’t not have desires. You can have desires that you don’t want or invisible/preconscious desires, but strictly speaking a person can’t be more desirous (or, loosely, more passionate) than another. It’s like saying a piece of AI is half-invested into its utility function, it just doesn’t work like that.
Re: Perseverance Toward Life Goals Can Fend Off Depression, Anxiety, Panic Disorders
#113Earlier quoted context omitted.
Sure, here are just a few. 1. Rearing children with the goal of making them read at 2 years old. Then with the goal of learning calculus at 10. Then others as they grow older. 2. Learning programming by writing a real system that actual people will use -- instead of code katas or reading programming books or attending a boot camp. 3. Marrying not only for love, but with the intention of building a business or farm to…
I’m not sure how to phrase this without it sounding bad, and I don’t want to personally offend you, but somewhere in what you wrote is the epitome of everything I hate about tech culture (not saying there’s not a lot about tech culture that I love). It reminds me of a quora response where Andrew Ng says you should teach your kid to program as a toddler. Not everything has to be hyper-optimized. Let your child live th…
This is teaching your kids to read. Not code. BIG difference. One is optional, one is required and something that no parents should be solely trusting schools to do.
My dad barely finished high school, but he did teach me to read by the age of 2. It profoundly changed my life.
Re: Perseverance Toward Life Goals Can Fend Off Depression, Anxiety, Panic Disorders
#114Earlier quoted context omitted.
No, you misunderstand. I have a kid who I taught to read by 2 years old. That was a mission. She hated it and hated me for it at the time. But I just came off a 2 hour session with her teaching her SEO. She was jumping to do it, because that early reading taught her how to be self-sufficient in learning things herself from the very beginning. Another mission was to teach her how to find and learn anything she wants i…
What was your basic strategy for training a 1-year-old or an 18-month at literacy? Put her in an environment that she can only navigate by reading signs? Flashcards and the conditional withholding of food?
I had her rewrite words directly from a book.
But it was a highly disciplined environment to do it. Only 30 minutes at a time each day.
Then i had her put simple words together - syllable by syllable. It was shocking how quickly she learned.
But the key to it was DISCIPLINE.
It was not something she could avoid or say that she did not feel like doing it today. I was cold and unemotional about it. Because its as basic a skill as breathing in the modern world.
As she got older, we spent the summers reading 2 novels each week (Jack Vance). Then as she finished a chapter, i had her bring it to me and summarize what she read.
This is how she learned complex vocabulary. Through practical use. She got A's in anything related to language from the beginning of school.
Coincidentally -- its the same way how i learn new computer languages, by diving into real projects immediately.
Re: Perseverance Toward Life Goals Can Fend Off Depression, Anxiety, Panic Disorders
#115There's a ship. It has no captain, no crew. Where is it going? There's another ship. It has a captain and crew but no destination is set. Where is it going? There's another ship. It has captain, crew, destination but no course is set. Where is it going? There's another ship. It has captain, crew, destination and a course set. Everyone is ready to go and intends to go. Where is it going? Only one of these ships will s…
"If one does not know to which port they are sailing, no wind is favorable" -Seneca
If you don't know where you're going no wind is unfavourable either, and you get these much more often :)
Re: Perseverance Toward Life Goals Can Fend Off Depression, Anxiety, Panic Disorders
#116But what are you sacrificing in return for your “perseverance”? Very few people tend to look at the mind as a system, and also seem to ignore that depression, anxiety, panic disorders, etc. happen for a reason. The reason why modern humanity have increased risk of these symptoms is because they know, given their perhaps wrongly learned models of the world or otherwise, that even when they achieve their so-called life…
I've spent a great deal of time and energy trying to set meaningful goals and progress towards things, then worry that I was progressing to the wrong thing and adjust goals etc. My current goal is simply to learn to be happy with what I have and who I am. As an indirect result of pursuing this I've found that loads of other goals and things that I've wanted to accomplish have become massively easier to progress on.
Could you elaborate on how those goals have become massively easier to progress on? is it because your mood and energy are better/greater?
Re: Perseverance Toward Life Goals Can Fend Off Depression, Anxiety, Panic Disorders
#117Earlier quoted context omitted.
Since you explained what are not missions, can you give examples for missions?
Sure, here are just a few. 1. Rearing children with the goal of making them read at 2 years old. Then with the goal of learning calculus at 10. Then others as they grow older. 2. Learning programming by writing a real system that actual people will use -- instead of code katas or reading programming books or attending a boot camp. 3. Marrying not only for love, but with the intention of building a business or farm to…
This is terrible. You watch everything through the glass of competition and money. I would hate to be raised in your family.
Re: Perseverance Toward Life Goals Can Fend Off Depression, Anxiety, Panic Disorders
#118Earlier quoted context omitted.
The crew thought it would be a smooth ride. But then came a storm and they all gave up hope. It is known that if you think the way to your goal is a smooth ride you can end up in a very big depression when things don't go as planned.
This is key. Many years ago, I learned while reading Julian Simon's Good Mood that happiness is basically the ratio between your reality and your expectations. When your reality is immutable, adjusting your expectations is the path to happiness. I've had great results applying this principle to day to day annoyances. For example, when I go to meet someone, I always expect a 5-10 minute delay and go prepared (e.g. wit…
Success is getting what you want.
Happiness is wanting what you get.
Re: Perseverance Toward Life Goals Can Fend Off Depression, Anxiety, Panic Disorders
#119Great - but if you're depressed / anxious then it's harder to persevere.
Re: Perseverance Toward Life Goals Can Fend Off Depression, Anxiety, Panic Disorders
#120Stocism (actually reading Meditations by Marcus Auralius, not just "stiff upper lip" BS) and exercise were all that worked for me. If you're suffering please try those and note how you feel the next day, 2 days, 3 days.