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Reflections on Being a Female Founder

tracy.posthaven.com

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Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#281

Post by econcon »

klyrs wrote: post #47
mtgp1000 wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So if I want to push myself in pursuit of my dreams, I need to sandbag because working hard sets bad precedent for others? Edit: why is this flagged? Is it not a valid point? If you claim that there is a problem in tech because men are stoic and work long hours even during times of personal hardship, you're effectively shaming these men for working too hard. This is something that needs to be discussed before you sta…

Treat it as a marathon, not a sprint. Making time for your mental health is not a cultural priority, and that results in a high rate of burnout across the industry. I think I'd have made it a lot further in my career, and faster, if I'd avoided that in my 20s.

They can do that but then there are people like me, who need no weekend off, no vacations, can work more than 60 hours a week - I am ready to take all leadership

It has infact opposite effect on me, the more I work the more I am escaped from normal day to life problems and emotional setbacks (caused mostly by other people and being aware myself, I can't do anything but just to blame myself) I choose work as my escapism.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#282

Post by econcon »

vntok wrote: post #37
daleharvey wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

how many women do you think there are in the world?

Why are you talking about women in the world? The parent's argument is on the vc world, which is pretty different.

I think their point is unless you are seeing 50-50 ratio in everything, there is descrimination and bias. Not that I support this view but I think he could have put it more clearly.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#283

Post by cutemonster »

aptwebapps wrote: post #213
rapsey wrote: post #188

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is always at least one guy in any group more then a handful of people. It is terrible what kind of bullshit women have to go through in this industry.

The first time I read this comment I failed to parse what you meant by 'one guy' and thought you were being sarcastic.

I also wonder what does it mean: "at least one guy"? -- it means one person who says ridiculing things towards women (in this context)?

(I'm not a native speaker)

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#284

Post by cutemonster »

jariel wrote: post #279
yomly wrote: post #169

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Taking a step back from her story, I find it so weird that we stigmatise some of the most universal human experiences. Essentially every person will piss burp fart and poop. And almost every person has one of two genitals. (EDIT and our biological parents will have one of each). And almost every mother will feed their baby with their breasts. And yet we have become so detached from the animal part of our identity and…

"I find it so weird that we stigmatise " Remember that this was a perception of stigmatisation, not necessarily an actual stigmatised response. Personally, I don't think people would bat an eye at a mother pumping milk in their car. Among all of my various acquaintances of every stripe, I can't imagine any of the caring, and I've never once in my life ever heard anyone say anything about it. Once, a mother was 'open…

> hint of discretion, like a blanket, or being at the corner table facing a wall

Maybe this is a stupid question, but why is any hint of discretion needed at all?

What is the problem with an uncovered breast and baby eating?

Is it for example that you feel excited from seeing a breast, and don't like that happening in a restaurant?

Or maybe it feels weird with people slightly undressed, in the same way as you might think it was weird if, say, a man (not woman) didn't wear a t-shirt at all?

Or is it that you think it's somehow a tiny bit dirty with babies and them eating, maybe drooling or sth like that?

Or sth else?

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#285

Post by jacquesm »

jwr wrote: post #259
skocznymroczny wrote: post #251

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't really understand why the need to single out Poland. In recent history Poland had a transgender MP, openly gay MP and three female prime ministers. Breastfeeding in public isn't a taboo in Poland either.

Oh, that's just because I happen to live in Poland (most of the time) and I'm very annoyed by these attempts to "put women in their place" (usually, the kitchen, and with child-bearing duties). What I meant is that things are good, but the church and conservatives are hard at work, trying to make them worse.

It is a generational issue. The older generation - which also is the one that is most easily influenced by the church due to pearly-gate anxiety syndrome - is quite scared of further modernization and obviously the church is scared shitless of losing its power base.

This sort of thing changes one funeral at the time. Fortunately younger people in Poland tend to be considerably smarter about such things than their parents ever were, though there are of course also still people in that generation that are dominated by the church.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#286

Post by cutemonster »

mdorazio wrote: post #263
drobert wrote: post #215

We had gender roles because it was the most effective way to survive and raise a family. The cost was that women were assigned rather basic responsibilities. Because tech and services have evolved families can outsource some of the chors done by women in the past like cooking, cleaning. In the case of making babies the the technology is still in development but we will get there. Artificial wombs will be an option in…

Thank you for stating this as clearly as you did. I'll probably get downvoted for comment, but my reaction to reading this essay was to be angry with Tracy. She repeatedly put herself in situations where she had to choose between family and company (or at least thought she did), and for what? Regardless of gender , if you want to have a successful family and you want to have a successful high-growth startup, you're g…

Looking at the end result: company sold for $$$$$$$, and I'd think the child will have a happy childhood and grow up and be a happy adult,

... Then it seems to me she was precisely that rock star CEO plus with "everything", ie a baby in this case.

So it's been done already and so definitely is possible, I'd say.

> sacrifices that you need to recognize up front ... Either you're going to be a bad ...

No. Instead, I want society to change, so it becomes easy and un-stressful to be a female CEO with a small baby.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#287

Post by jariel »

cutemonster wrote: post #284
jariel wrote: post #279

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"I find it so weird that we stigmatise " Remember that this was a perception of stigmatisation, not necessarily an actual stigmatised response. Personally, I don't think people would bat an eye at a mother pumping milk in their car. Among all of my various acquaintances of every stripe, I can't imagine any of the caring, and I've never once in my life ever heard anyone say anything about it. Once, a mother was 'open…

> hint of discretion, like a blanket, or being at the corner table facing a wall Maybe this is a stupid question, but why is any hint of discretion needed at all? What is the problem with an uncovered breast and baby eating? Is it for example that you feel excited from seeing a breast, and don't like that happening in a restaurant? Or maybe it feels weird with people slightly undressed, in the same way as you might t…

" but why is any hint of discretion needed at all?"

Do you really need to ask though?

When there's a topless woman in the middle of a restaurant, 99% of people are going to feel something is off.

There's a not-so-subtle difference between 'breastfeeding' and 'I'm going to leave my boobs hanging out while I set my baby down and get something out of my bag'

If you were in a restaurant, and someone was dangling their breasts for everyone to see (even a man for that matter) it would seem really odd.

I've seen women breastfeeding in public (airplanes, cafes) countless times, and I don't think anyone ever batted an eye, but there was always a shade of discretion.

A woman dangling her breasts around in restaurant, on the other hand, is a different thing entirely.

It's kind of ridiculous that we have a social protocol wherein nudity would not be appropriate in a given context, but then because of some specific need, that this protocol goes away. No. Nobody minds at all that someone is breastfeeding but people do mind fairly obvious nudity.

And I really don't think there's a soul in California who cares that a woman is breastfeeding or pumping milk in their car.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#288

Post by galoisgirl »

LunaSea wrote: post #269
galoisgirl wrote: post #234

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> But few women when given the choice would choose to do what she did. Feeding a baby in the car while doing research seems far from desirable for most women I presume. Then the question is why she did it? I'd say the question is why men do it. In The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, all men say "I wish I hadn't worked so hard". (That's the second after "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the…

For men it's not a choice.

It is.

However, I'll admit that societal pressures work both ways, they affect men too. Men are not as free to be a stay-at-home parent if they chose to as women are.

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#289

Post by galoisgirl »

mdorazio wrote: post #261
galoisgirl wrote: post #231

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The sacrifice way more than just leisure. If this was about leisure, there would be no discussion.

The point stands. Who are you to dictate what is and is not ok for others to sacrifice in order to get what they want? Just because their values don't align with yours doesn't make them wrong.

I'm not saying people shouldn't freely chose to sacrifice something, quite the opposite.

I don't think some sacrifices should be required. It will always be a grey area: you can't have everything in life, there's only so many hours in a day.

Another thing that may not be okay, is that when you tool at the top 5 regret of the dying, most men regret having worked so hard. So why are we pretending this is what they want?

Re: Reflections on Being a Female Founder

#290

Post by galoisgirl »

_pzdn wrote: post #278
galoisgirl wrote: post #265

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I was following the time honored HN tradition of posting one line about the article and then taking up a tangent. I don't have too much of a problem with that, it's asking a question you should research first. It's not that I don't want to talk about it either, I just don't want to explain the basics every time. I'm also not an expert on the issue, many people have much more to say on the matter. If I could add som…

> girls are praised for results and boys for effort This is a sad thing, if true. If true, it does sound very changeable. From the article you linked: > bright girls believe that their abilities are innate and unchangeable, while bright boys believe that they can develop ability through effort and practice. Everyone should learn somehow that effort and practice bring about change in behavior and improvement in skill…

No need of the "if true", it's studied.

Changing it in entire societies will take time, but there is talk about "growth mindset" vs "fixed mindset".

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