Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows • Hacker News Board

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#241

Post by codingslave » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:57 PM UTC

eloff wrote: post #224

codingslave wrote: post #50

This is a widespread societal change that I think most people are completely unaware of. The majority of women are sleeping with the top 10% of men, sometimes only the top 3-5%, with the rest barely getting any at all. the sexual revolution was never about free love or sexual freedom, it was about womens rights to sleep with the few men they are all attracted to. The lower 80% of men instead saw their sexual freedom…

This is closer in some ways to historically the way things have always worked. The men of status had multiple partners while the majority of men remained single and childless. We know this both from historical record and DNA analysis. What's new is women can do this without settling down or having children, casually IOW. Monogamy is better for raising children and for societal stability, but monogamy seems alive and…

"I wonder what the societal implications are for having a majority of young men be very undesirable and a majority of women start on top of the world at 18 and steadily fall down from there and have to settle. It doesn't seem to be good for either gender."

I dont think we have seen the full impact of this yet. Online dating has been a major catalyst and made things alot worse. I think we are still 10-15, maybe 20 years off before we see people growing older and the toll this type of sexual marketplace takes on their relationships.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#242

Post by slothtrop » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:57 PM UTC

antidaily wrote: post #206

slothtrop wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It wasn't always so easily accessible and in such vast quantities. Downstream was slow, there was that wild west time of p2p in the late 90s-00s where you never really knew what you'd get. Now it's ridiculously pervasive.

It was always easily accessible and downloaded fast enough. But ok, let's say it took a minute to download a 150kb image of porn. Did that stop anyone? No. But I do think a comment you made above is correct -- people are more sedentary. Especially young men. So they possibly seek porn out more often just out of boredom.

You used an image as an example, but this is far less stimulating than video.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#243

Post by joshuamorton » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:57 PM UTC

codingslave wrote: post #50

This is a widespread societal change that I think most people are completely unaware of. The majority of women are sleeping with the top 10% of men, sometimes only the top 3-5%, with the rest barely getting any at all. the sexual revolution was never about free love or sexual freedom, it was about womens rights to sleep with the few men they are all attracted to. The lower 80% of men instead saw their sexual freedom…

> Half of the reason for pushing for sexual restrictions and monogamy was because it stopped uprisings and stabilized relations.

Sort of. When you start with the preconception that men have the societal power (and that women must be monogomous/attached to only a single man), then yes monogomy has a purpose. It allows most men to have stable relationships. The alternative is classical polygamy (which might better be referred to as polygyny, or marriage where a man has multiple wives), women with many husbands are...rarer in history.

If you drop the restriction that women are attached only to a single man, a lot of the causes for unrest go away. And indeed at that point, there's actually no real hard-learned thing you're basing the restrictions on, because it's all predicated on women being attached to at most one man.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#244

Post by selimthegrim » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:57 PM UTC

akiselev wrote: post #219

foepys wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't have data for this but I believe that legal polygamy is a big contributor to political extremism. Sexual frustration leads to inferiority complexes that result in aggression against the norm. As an example I see the Middle East where polygamy is not unheard of and the rise of the Islamic State or the Taliban. Would be interesting if anybody has data on this.

Both the Islamic State and Taliban were formed by soldiers and insurgents left over from military invasions of the Middle East. The former came to prominence thanks to a lot of Bathists in the aftermath of the Iraq invasion - many were officers during Saddam's regime - and the latter by the mujahideen, who fought the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan and had plenty of military hardware left over to form a powerful army…

Not only that, lots of the IS people were in Saddam's Mukhabarat (intelligence), where either they had the social prestige to get matches or more crudely speaking, could probably grab women off the street.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#245

Post by thanhhaimai » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:57 PM UTC

cambalache wrote: post #90

eigenvalue wrote: post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think this is exactly right. Apps like Tinder that normalized online "dating" (before the apps it was much less common among younger people) have allowed the "apex predator" men with good jobs/looks/personalities to have sex on demand with virtually unlimited numbers of women. This has also been made possible because a lot more women are now willing to be in non-exclusive sexual relationships at the beginning when…

> believe many of these men will eventually find someone once enough of the women who are now rejecting them face biological realities and are forced to settle if they want to have children. Who wants to be last choice? Maybe many of these men will wise up and marry a foreign girl(despite the usual shaming) or just hire sexual workers.

The assumption that a "foreign girl" is easier to get is both offensive and wrong.

Given the ratio of men and women in Asian culture for example, it's a much crowder competition space. That's even more true considering the fact that a large percentage of those Asian women in the US are either highly educated, or from wealthy families that sent them study abroad. They look for partners who are equally educated/successful.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#246

Post by s5300 » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:57 PM UTC

pacija wrote: post #110

lordleft wrote: post #3

The conservative political commentator (and never-Trumper) David Frum has commented about this and the general decline in coupling between the sexes among young people. He believes that part of the reason comes from the economic hurdles facing many millennials; it's harder to get your own place or have a sense of financial confidence, so starting a family or embarking on a relationship may seem more daunting. He also…

Back in a day, quite some time ago, I started screwing around when I was 16. Most of the parents were quite conservative so they didn't allow kids to do it at their places where we, kids, lived, at least not to their knowledge. But we used every occasion to do it while they were at work. Or at birthdays and other home parties. In parks. At the graveyards. On roofs. In basements. Any place where we could get half an h…

In the U.S., if you're caught having sex in public, it's completely legal (and seemingly usually practiced) to put you on a publicly visible sex offender list that really kinda fucks up every aspect of your entire life, for life.

Just a thought.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#247

Post by roosterdawn » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:58 PM UTC

downerending wrote: post #91

tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

I've noticed this among the young men in my extended family and friends. One guy is model cute, and goes out on Tinder "dates" whenever he wants (new girl weekly, at least). He had a live-in girlfriend, but with an open relationship. And if I were one of these women, I'd probably do the same thing. Even if you can't marry a hottie, if you can have sex with one a few times, that still sounds like fun. The other guys,…

Sadly, this feels intuitively correct. I've heard a formalization of the prisoner's dilemma called the IQ shredder [1]. Whether it's a reach or not is something I am still debating internally. At the very least, I do sense that I, as someone who's working in tech and experience relatively stable upward career momentum, there's only so long I can "hang on" to my yuppie lifestyle before it works against my end goals to reproduce and have a family. While there's a playbook for what got me here, there's not one for what's going to get me to the next step.

```

Mr Lee said: “[China] will make progress but if you look at the per capita they have got, the differences are so wide. We have the advantage of quality control of the people who come in so we have bright Indians, bright Chinese, bright Caucasians so the increase in population means an increase in talent.”

How many bright Indians and bright Chinese are there, Harry? Surely they are not infinite. And what will they do in Singapore? Well, engage in the finance and marketing rat-race and depress their fertility to 0.78, wasting valuable genes just so your property prices don’t go down. Singapore is an IQ shredder.

```

[1] https://www.xenosystems.net/iq-shredders/

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#248

Post by ikeyany » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:58 PM UTC

codingslave wrote: post #204

ikeyany wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The sexual revolution was about freedom and bodily autonomy: your existence is about more than being a sexual plaything. You can be a doctor, a professor, a factory worker, or a housewife. But the most important part is having the power to make that decision for yourself. > If I said the above out in the open I would lose my job Erm no, not quite. Maybe this part: > the sexual revolution was never about free love or…

Read my edit. There were reasons for societies to be sexually conservative. It wasnt random and it wasnt just on the whim of oppressive men.

The sexual revolution did nothing other than allow women the privileges that men already had.

If the result of such equality is that people are forming relationships less often than before, then the problem lies in the behaviors of both men AND women, not in the decision to allow women bodily and sexual autonomy in the first place.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#249

Post by jeffreyrogers » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:58 PM UTC

vsareto wrote: post #235

notyourday wrote: post #215

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Instead, video games and pot. If their free time is about video games and pot, I would say they only have themselves to blame.

There's women who do that too, it's just the connection is missing

Those women are dating, or at least having sex with, different guys.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#250

Post by Vysero » Fri, Jun 12, 2020, 7:59 PM UTC

joelbluminator wrote: post #227

Vysero wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What makes you think I am not interested in sleeping with an 18 year old blonde with huge breasts? That's EXACTLY who I am interested in sleeping with... personally, I am not interested in a relationship at all nor am I attacking women here so I am not sure where you are coming from.

You sound super mature and very different than the women you described, good luck

Maturity has nothing to do with it. There are very few men on this planet who not be interested in sleeping with the women you just described... just like most women wouldn't turn down Brad Pitt.