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Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

reuters.com

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Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#211

Post by malcolmgreaves »

thewarrior wrote: post #167
malcolmgreaves wrote: post #112

A lot of guys are complaining in the thread, with undertones of an expectation of sex Most likely reason I see that would cause this data: the immense social pressure applied to straight women has lessened in the 21st century. A straight woman won't be ostricized at 25 if they don't "have a man." The data suggests that young straight men aren't having as much sex. I postulate that the only reason is that straight men…

But the data also shows that for women the figure is unchanged.

Precisely illustrates my point: most men are still operating under an outdated expectation of sex and romance. That merely existing suffices for being a good partner. When in reality, standards have been vastly increased any only a few men have gotten with the times.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#212

Post by guskel »

whytaka wrote: post #180
vsareto wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not really a powder keg because we really don't suffer as a society if the excluded men don't get to have kids.

It seems possible to me that creatures that are denied their biological imperative can develop some very aggressive behaviours. If 80+% of men in society are angry, I'd be a bit scared.

From the view of the gene, no compromise should be made when facing the prospect of extinction.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#213

Post by Coutured »

I’m a young US man and I find sex (and close human contact in general) mildly disgusting. Yet, I also feel so much pressure from my peers to be dating and having sex. The culture basically says sex and drugs are the only things worth doing.

I spend my time on dating apps going on dates I don’t enjoy in the hopes of having sex that I don’t enjoy. Don’t get me wrong, I’m attracted to women and enjoy spending time with them. I just don’t like sex. I like the idea of sex but my desire to have sex with someone decreases significantly the closer they are to me (disgust is inverse-square with proximity). At least I can find humor in the absurdity.

It feels like I can trace all the problems in my life back to my uncomfortableness with sex. Why am I so uncomfortable? That might take another long unpleasant post.

Its tempting to think that I should find some peace in not having sex or find a partner who doesn’t like sex either. That’s a good suggestion. Its really a war in my mind between feelings of disgust from having sex and feelings of disgust from not having sex. My therapist and I agree that its best for me to “get out there” and date.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#214

Post by bradlys »

Grimm1 wrote: post #114
tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

I'm a high earner in tech like I imagine many people on the forum, and also like many people on the forum my life is super busy. My last relationship ended really badly took like two years to get over it and then I was suddenly really busy and I've kept being really busy as my titles have changed and my personal interest in starting my own business has increased etc etc and now we're in a pandemic. I'd argue that the…

The amount of men in your position is much lower than you are thinking. You're in a bubble.

The US male populace has maybe 10% of people in similar roles such as yourself. Not many men earn $100k+/yr - period. Most who do are well past 30. If you're in FAANG making $300k+, then you're part of the 1% of /all/ men (not just men at your age). Are you going to say that the top 10% of earners overrepresent the amount of people who aren't having sex? Seems far fetched to me. Having a high income is a marker that many people look for and prioritize.

Being a high income earner doesn't mean you're busier than other people either. I see many people making $250k+/yr and have regular 40 hour work weeks where I see people below $100k/yr pushing 60+ hours frequently.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#215

Post by notyourday »

downerending wrote: post #91
tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

I've noticed this among the young men in my extended family and friends. One guy is model cute, and goes out on Tinder "dates" whenever he wants (new girl weekly, at least). He had a live-in girlfriend, but with an open relationship. And if I were one of these women, I'd probably do the same thing. Even if you can't marry a hottie, if you can have sex with one a few times, that still sounds like fun. The other guys,…

> Instead, video games and pot.

If their free time is about video games and pot, I would say they only have themselves to blame.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#216

Post by codingslave »

georgiecasey wrote: post #186
codingslave wrote: post #50

This is a widespread societal change that I think most people are completely unaware of. The majority of women are sleeping with the top 10% of men, sometimes only the top 3-5%, with the rest barely getting any at all. the sexual revolution was never about free love or sexual freedom, it was about womens rights to sleep with the few men they are all attracted to. The lower 80% of men instead saw their sexual freedom…

What age range are you? I'm 36 and never really noticed this back in my younger years.

I'm in my early 30s and am trying to move away from this type of thing. But it was my life for all of my 20s

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#217

Post by cgriswald »

vzidex wrote: post #55
mpfundstein wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

its a nice gesture. whats the problem? back in Germany, only 10 years ago, women were super happy about it. now i am getting called a sexist. times change

Hmm, to me the problem is the question of _why_ a man would do that "nice gesture" for the woman. To me, if you don't have reason to be doing it besides "she's a woman", it smacks that the gesture is being done because she's inferior based on her gender (or at least, that's what's being implied).

It could also imply she’s thought superior based on gender and the man is showing submission. The problem is the interpretation of an action to automatically imply a certain mode of thought.

None of us have access to the thoughts of others and holding a door open or saying “ladies first” is not ipso facto indicative of a misogynist view; especially among people who were taught it is good manners.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#218

Post by minkzilla »

cambalache wrote: post #129
fuddlecarrion wrote: post #7

Is it a problem? People don't need to be having sex. As long as people are happy.

You think a young heterosexual man who wants to have sex and doesnt get it is happy?

Why not? I’d like to eat steak every night for dinner but I can’t have that and I’m still happy. Sex is just one aspect of life, not it’s totality

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#219

Post by akiselev »

foepys wrote: post #24
tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

I don't have data for this but I believe that legal polygamy is a big contributor to political extremism. Sexual frustration leads to inferiority complexes that result in aggression against the norm. As an example I see the Middle East where polygamy is not unheard of and the rise of the Islamic State or the Taliban. Would be interesting if anybody has data on this.

Both the Islamic State and Taliban were formed by soldiers and insurgents left over from military invasions of the Middle East. The former came to prominence thanks to a lot of Bathists in the aftermath of the Iraq invasion - many were officers during Saddam's regime - and the latter by the mujahideen, who fought the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan and had plenty of military hardware left over to form a powerful army afterwards.

The pressure from polygamy might have contributed to the individual motivations for some people to join those groups, but it was probably far from a significant factor in the geopolitics.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#220

Post by codingslave »

NickM wrote: post #176
dundarious wrote: post #143

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It seems pretty clearly targeted at the insecurities of incels, what with your, 10% or perhaps 3-5%, comments - all based on your anecdotal experiences with your own two eyes.

Yes, I was going to comment something similar. "The majority of women" is clearly not the same as "the women you've personally witnessed hooking up with your friends at bars in NYC".

I'm not going to lay my whole life and justification out for you. But this is based on a decade of experience
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