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Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

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Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#421

Post by toomanybeersies »

nyokodo wrote: post #366
llimos wrote: post #358

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I had a manager do this to me once. In a situation where I knew for sure he was joking. I was top of the department, and it wasn't even in the context of having done anything wrong. He had just been given some new responsibilities, and I asked him what he was planning to change, and he said, totally jokingly, 'well, today is your last day.' And I knew 100% it was a joke, and I still felt a horrible sinking feeling fo…

I understand that sometimes the topic of a conversation can't be revealed beforehand. However, I wish more managers would give some kind of indication beforehand about how anxious one should be about it because for many people the worst-case scenario is the default presumption.

I think it's best to keep the notice for that kind of meeting as short as possible.

My work cut our hours by 20%, and we were given notice about the meeting only a couple of hours beforehand. It would be cruel to schedule that kind of meeting for several days in time, leaving your staff in purgatory, wondering if they should get a head start on looking for a new job.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#422

Post by TheSpiceIsLife »

mark-r wrote: post #411
DaiPlusPlus wrote: post #398

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The original - or the US adaptation?

The US version is what I saw. I'm not sure how it differs from the original.

Give the original ago. No need to watch it if it doesn't float your boat, but give it a try.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#423

Post by Non24Throw »

Balgair wrote: post #306
CapriciousCptl wrote: post #256

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Part of life is tactfully dealing with people who have power over you. It’s not very comfortable for anyone.

A lot of life is determined by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have, one way or the other.

This is such an accurate and profound statement.

And now that I think about it, one trait that I’ve witnessed in CEOs and successful entrepreneurs again and again is an almost inhuman ease with initiating and engaging in uncomfortable conversations. They don’t hesitate with them either.

I always assumed it was just something they all naturally develop as a consequence of being bombarded and put upon constantly, but maybe there’s more to it than that.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#424

Post by FridgeSeal »

mattkrause wrote: post #396
P-ala-din wrote: post #388

Earlier quoted context omitted.

yeah, the definition of prevalence is clear to me. but it's the other way around. Men and women are affected with the same severity but women are more likely to develop it. ( or at least that's what I understood from bradjohnson's comment).

No, I don't think that's a correct interpretation: if women are more likely to develop it, then the prevalence isn't equal. Affect and prevalence just focus on rates, not severity. I can only see two ways to make both statements consistent: - Men and women are both likely to have an general 'diagnosis' of imposter syndrome, but women experience more 'acute attacks' of it per unit time. Half of of men and women feel l…

I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around:

Severity is the same for both genders (those that have it, feel it with similar enough degree and frequency), but in equal sized groups of men and women, there are more women who exhibit it.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#425

Post by mrslave »

mark-r wrote: post #411
DaiPlusPlus wrote: post #398

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The original - or the US adaptation?

The US version is what I saw. I'm not sure how it differs from the original.

This is one show where I believe most agree the US remake is superior. Character development gives the US edition far more depth at the expense of trading off a little subtlety. Gervais masters cringe to the point of extreme viewer discomfort. Opinions vary, of course.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#426

Post by jaaron »

mjayhn wrote: post #177
Non24Throw wrote: post #143

Early in my career, a manager once had me repeat to him that I would be terminated if I failed to do X, like I was a 5-year-old. X was referring to a technical implementation detail that he had zero understanding of. He read something in a blog post I guess. My reaction was to act like it was a fun joke or something. But inside, I absolutely loathed him every second of every day until I quit, and now I take great sat…

> To expand on the article’s point, I think the biggest thing young managers don’t understand is that people are going to be insincere to you as a basic showing of respect and a basic desire for career preservation. They’re going to smile and appear to enjoy you and laugh at your jokes and seem ok with everything, much moreso than they otherwise would. I know it's hard and it took me until my 30s with a long career b…

All the other comments note how risky the approach of giving feedback to your boss is, and they're right.

As a manager, it's on ME to setup the environment for candid feedback. It's something I have to emphasize over and over again and demonstrate very clearly and publicly to everyone that it's ok and it's what I expect.

If the boss isn't creating that environment, then it's a risky, uphill battle for any subordinate to create change. Not impossible, but it's difficult to recommend it.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#427

Post by artsyca »

No matches for the words 'shirt' or 'tie' or 'dress' in any of the comments.

This probably means nothing to anyone here but it used to be auspicious for people promoted into management to actually dress the part not out of prideful superiority but modesty and respect and and acknowledgement of this duty and responsibility.

Think of it as a flag in software.

A lot of the conversations we have are already on the wrong level when it's a manager in jeans looking like it's his day off but what would anyone know about this when comfort reigns supreme and we're all at best only half invested in anything we do professionally.

If you plan to down vote this rather than doing it in the silent way, put a reasoning for your action or move on.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#428

Post by mattkrause »

FridgeSeal wrote: post #424
mattkrause wrote: post #396

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, I don't think that's a correct interpretation: if women are more likely to develop it, then the prevalence isn't equal. Affect and prevalence just focus on rates, not severity. I can only see two ways to make both statements consistent: - Men and women are both likely to have an general 'diagnosis' of imposter syndrome, but women experience more 'acute attacks' of it per unit time. Half of of men and women feel l…

I’m pretty sure it’s the other way around: Severity is the same for both genders (those that have it, feel it with similar enough degree and frequency), but in equal sized groups of men and women, there are more women who exhibit it.

It occurred to me that the original sources might be a lot clearer:

From Wikipedia's ref #1 (Langford and Clance, 1993)

"Studies of college students (Harvey, 1981; Bussotti, 1990; Langford, 1990), college professors (Topping, 1983), and successful professionals (Dingman, 1987) have all failed, however, to reveal any sex differences in impostor feelings, suggesting that males in these populations are just as likely as females to have low expectations of success and to make attributions to non-ability related factors."

And Ref #9 (Kumar and Jagacinski, 2006)

"Women expressed greater imposter fears than men and were also higher on ability-avoid goals."

The writing in the Wikipedia article is not great though, so it could have gone either way...

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#430

Post by mleonhard »

munchbunny wrote: post #214
pmarreck wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is why, if I ever manage, my focus will be on timely deliverables and not on time-at-desk. Give me a day when you think you can deliver something, update me as soon as you realize you can't ("manage expectations"), and do whatever you want with the rest of your time...

I think this is only half of the picture. Here's a formal framework that talks about it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Task-oriented_and_relationship... As an example, when you are deciding whether to promote someone, you can't do it on tasks completed alone, because some of that decision has to be about (1) how well the person works with teammates, and (2) whether the person's peers believe this person is competent…

Thanks for sharing this.
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