Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people • Hacker News Board

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#151

Post by A4ET8a8uTh0 » Wed, Jun 10, 2020, 3:40 PM UTC

jerf wrote: post #36

Similarly, marriage protip: Don't joke about divorces. Even if you think your partner can handle it. Mine can and we still don't do it, as policy. It's a known policy, too; we mentioned it to each other before (briefly, a long time ago, not as some big event). This is certainly far from "the one key to a happy marriage!", but it's a brick in the house. It generally fits into the larger social IQ element of thinking a…

Crap. We do. We pretty much started the moment we got married. It helped that we lived together before we married, but I think you have a point.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#152

Post by macspoofing » Wed, Jun 10, 2020, 3:40 PM UTC

gowld wrote: post #83

macspoofing wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>In my opinion, that would be incredibly cruel and stupid. Usually, it's more ignorance rather than (intentional) cruelty. If your office has a relaxed atmosphere, as a manager, it is very easy to make the mistake of thinking that you are just a regular part of the gang. But of course, you're not, and everyone (except you) is aware of your status and the fact that you control their continual employment, bonuses/raise…

> ignorance rather than (intentional) cruelty Yes, and that ignorance is a _privelege_ of power. Most employees don't think they can risk-free joke about firing their boss.

>Yes, and that ignorance is a _privelege_ of power.

No it's not.

There we go. My statement has as much evidentiary support as yours.

Have you ever thought about the usefulness and evidentiary support of using this weird leftist nomenclature to reframe traditionally understood concepts? Like what value did you bring by reframing 'ignorance' as 'privilege' - but 'privilege' not in the sense of the dictionary definition but as a loaded concept that came out of dark recesses of some leftist writings that has no actual backing and does not actually lead to a better understanding of the world.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#153

Post by iguanayou » Wed, Jun 10, 2020, 3:41 PM UTC

Right out of the Michael Scott playbook https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAxtVMuDYD8

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#154

Post by rhacker » Wed, Jun 10, 2020, 3:42 PM UTC

tinyhouse wrote: post #117

jerf wrote: post #36

Similarly, marriage protip: Don't joke about divorces. Even if you think your partner can handle it. Mine can and we still don't do it, as policy. It's a known policy, too; we mentioned it to each other before (briefly, a long time ago, not as some big event). This is certainly far from "the one key to a happy marriage!", but it's a brick in the house. It generally fits into the larger social IQ element of thinking a…

You mean not to joke about it in front of other people? I agree of course. But between you two? seriously... A married couple should be able to talk freely, including about things they don't like. No need to create policies in advance like it's a work relationship between employee/manager. I would worry if my married life looked like a work relationship.

I mean, it's like the golden rule. I don't think I would want my wife to joke about getting a divorce every day. I would seriously start thinking she would want one. So if you don't want to feel like that, the golden rule would have you not joke like that either.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#155

Post by MetallicCloud » Wed, Jun 10, 2020, 3:42 PM UTC

jerf wrote: post #36

Similarly, marriage protip: Don't joke about divorces. Even if you think your partner can handle it. Mine can and we still don't do it, as policy. It's a known policy, too; we mentioned it to each other before (briefly, a long time ago, not as some big event). This is certainly far from "the one key to a happy marriage!", but it's a brick in the house. It generally fits into the larger social IQ element of thinking a…

Me and my wife joke about getting divorced all the time, and we've been happily married for 15 years. Maybe that joke wouldn't be appropriate for your marriage, but I'm not really into people giving absolute truths about other peoples lives and pretending like they're gospel.

Every relationship is different, and there will be different relationship norms for everyone. It's one thing to tell people that you should act professionally at work, but please don't project your marriage onto others.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#156

Post by dfxm12 » Wed, Jun 10, 2020, 3:42 PM UTC

Another thing: don't compare people in your team to recently let-go people.

As a survivor after a series of lay-offs, I took over a project from someone who was recently laid off (let's call him Joe), got asked a really vague question about it and responded, IMO reasonably, that clarification was needed. All I got back was "That's a Joe-type of answer" (emphasis theirs).

I don't think it was funny, and it certainly didn't help my understanding of the problem. I brought this up in a meeting and was accused of being "too snippy lately" shortly after. It's the type of thing where if didn't already have 5 years of enjoying my role, I'd probably be looking for a new one.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#157

Post by jodrellblank » Wed, Jun 10, 2020, 3:42 PM UTC

Kronen wrote: post #82

This is another example of the trend in the 21st Century, people being so easily offended.

This is another example of the trend in the 21st Century, people commenting with a putdown to try and make a status grab at being superior.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#158

Post by asadlionpk » Wed, Jun 10, 2020, 3:42 PM UTC

tinyhouse wrote: post #146

asadlionpk wrote: post #133

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There always are policies in every relationship. Make peace with it.

Of course. Each couple creates their own policy based on what they like or don't like. As opposed to work relationship.

agreed.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#159

Post by A4ET8a8uTh0 » Wed, Jun 10, 2020, 3:42 PM UTC

whatok wrote: post #125

sudhirj wrote: post #24

The basic rule of comedy, or making jokes, which is amateur comedy, is that you always punch up. It’s funny when you say “ha! you’re fired!” to your boss, but never when you say it to someone you can actually fire. Same reason why parents (should) never joke about punishment or disciplinary action with their kids - when you have power and authority you also have a responsibility not to belittle it. People will take y…

"Punching up" is a rather new guideline of comedy touted within specific groups and hardly an agreed upon "basic rule". While standards have changed over the years and deplatforming happens much faster now, unless you want to invalidate entire careers or widely renown material, "punching down" can and always will have the potential to be funny.

I noticed that. Who was that comic, who got Netflix special and made some sensitive jokes and the only complaint I heard was 'well, I guess some find it funny, but he really is punching down'.

Re: Advice to new managers: don't joke about firing people

#160

Post by jbay808 » Wed, Jun 10, 2020, 3:42 PM UTC

imsofuture wrote: post #21

An experienced CEO joined a mid-sized company that I worked at a few years. His opening line, in his first all hands was a joke about firing the people who were a few minutes late to the call. It was obviously a joke, but you really can't make a worse impression and he was gone within a year.

I thought these people are paid multiple millions because they're supposed to be "top talent"?