Most people waste so much time on the internet that you can simply channel this time into parenting, which is much more rewarding, and on net not lose any real work or focus time.
Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
31–40 of 136 posts
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#32This is totally anecdotal, but I’ve seen coworkers have kids with a partner who stayed home and their careers seemed to take off but people who coparent and both work it seems to take some of the wind of their sails. I feel like me not being a parent, especially during this pandemic, comes with the expectation that i will work more, which i honestly have zero interest in doing.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#33"watch the kid" -- I think you spelled "be a parent" wrong. I don't know where you are in your career, or what your expectation is of a career, but there are lots of companies out there where you can do interesting things, be well paid, and have time to balance your work and family life. You just need to look for it just like you were looking for a higher salary, more responsibility, or even use of a particular techn…
I've thought about moving to a different company. My current company is in the top 20 best places to work in IT (computer world), although I don't know how much i trust that rating. They talk a lot about work-life balance. Do you have an example company to recommend?
I don't seek a high salary - just enough to live without fear and to someday retire. I hope to do interesting things, but I would be fine with boring tasks if I have a good work culture. It would be difficult to switch since my experience is in Neoxam and Filenet.
Thank you for your input.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#34Having kids (3 so far, 3, 5, and 7) helps me prioritize my time better. Before getting married and having kids, I was all over the place, had poor routines and probably some unhealthy habits in terms of diet and sleep. Having other people depend on you changes your priorities quickly.
Also, it's very difficult at times, but incredibly rewarding, more so than even the best programming highs I've had, when you can see a new thing one of your kids learned, and realize you were part of that.
Their imagination also keeps my brain a bit more flexible, especially as I try to join in their own crazy fun. And being able to act more like a kid with them also keeps me loose and a little crazy, which helps me to be more positive and, maybe, 'chipper', in my interactions with workmates. At least I think so.
Again, there are very difficult times as a parent. But the highs are so much higher when they come, and I would not trade it for being back in the bachelor mentality and spending more of my live donating overtime to a corporation (though there are some very positive things from that part of my life too, and I have some friends who would probably not thrive as parents!).
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#35No. Well... no. My first kid was born in 2006. I left a big 4 accounting firm after an acquisition in '10. Tried to do a start up with a friend... Health food delivery in Oakland in 2010, without any connection to any of the big VCs. Failed. Second kid was born the fall of '10, third in Winter '13. Looking at raw income numbers, I was making 85k in '06, 75k in '10 (had to find a job quickly after the startup failed -…
This may be a silly question, but what benefits do you find in caffeine pills over just having a cup of coffee?
Efficiency. Cost if you are buying coffee. 200mg each. Split them as needed.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#36Most people waste so much time on the internet that you can simply channel this time into parenting, which is much more rewarding, and on net not lose any real work or focus time.
My kid is asleep :)
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#37What a vile question. Not that I'm suggesting malice on OP's part, but rather that this question is the manifestation of an all-too-common perverse mindset among many young adults in the West that disgusts me. They are victims of the relentless propaganda around empowerment and living one's 'best life' that inevitably leads to childless, lonely, bitter, empty, miserable 40-somethings with a gaping hole in their heart that the sleekest sports car, most extravagant holiday or any number of social media followers can never fill, in spite of their best efforts.
I'd sooner be stone broke, living in a tent and surviving on bugs and mildew with my family than to be one of these pitiful professionals who live for their career. I can barely hide my scorn when I see them.
What do these people even have to live for? They are, in the truly biological sense of the term, drones. They are drones, by choice. I don't understand why they even bother without love and laughter to look forward to at the end of the day.
HN: Is your career dragging down your family?
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#38Kids—I have 3—reinforce attributes that should be valuable in the workforce. * I ruthlessly prioritize — you have to when you're balancing a family. * I don't dwell on mistakes – milk, quite literally, is spilled on a daily basis. * I'm a better manager – kids teach you to be clear and immediate in your feedback, not to mention more empathetic * I speak better – reading bedtime stories means you practice public speak…
> But recognize quickly that your employment environment may be incompatible with family life, and so what's "slowing your career down" is your management... not your kids or your own performance.
Amen
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#39I used to get really worked up early in my career trying to win the ratings game. When I got older I began to question the concept of the career, ironically when I finally started ‘winning’ at it.
1. Ratings and promotions within a job/company are boss personality and politically dependent and typically very unfair. Lots of hard work goes unrewarded.
2. Even if you do get lucky and get a promotion, your prize is 5-10% salary bump (maybe) and more work, stress and meetings (I don’t much enjoy meetings myself). Look closely at most big company executives and think if you really want the job for more than the social prestige/ego. They travel a ton and are always in meetings, it gets old.
3. So if the executive jobs are undesirable, then climb the ladder for money? It takes allot of money to make a difference, I.e you need $500k in the bank to ek out approx $1500 a month in cash flow at 4%. If you making $100k annually or $150k annually, $200k, or even $250 its still going to take over a decade to save a decent amount of money. The 5-10% salary bump doesn’t make much difference.
So why a career? There are likely more efficient ways to make money if that’s your goal. Starting a business, blogging, consulting, etc may have more risk but the ceiling is uncapped unlike a ‘career’. So why sacrifice something wonderful like time with your child? Money? Ego? You want a great LinkedIn profile one day? If given the option tomorrow, I would max my parental leave unless it impacted teammates in a negative way.
I would genuinely be interested if this is a minority sentiment?
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#40No. Well... no. My first kid was born in 2006. I left a big 4 accounting firm after an acquisition in '10. Tried to do a start up with a friend... Health food delivery in Oakland in 2010, without any connection to any of the big VCs. Failed. Second kid was born the fall of '10, third in Winter '13. Looking at raw income numbers, I was making 85k in '06, 75k in '10 (had to find a job quickly after the startup failed -…
That's impressive. My company views success/dedication as hours spent instead of value delivered. I'm glad it's working for you.