What's interesting is that I have observed the opposite in my career. I have often seen that employees who have children are afforded more flexibility, shorter hours, and less work than those who do not have children. While I understand these are necessary if you have children, a disproportionate amount of work and higher expectations are given to those without children in my office. For example, if you have a child, that is a perfectly acceptable reason to work from home, but simply wanting to work remotely is not accepted. Do I need to have a child to work from home (especially because I can't have children...lol)? Anyway, this is obviously not a universal experience across companies (and trust me I'm happy that parents have these perks at my company), but I do find it frustrating when someone is expected to stay at the office until midnight because "what else would they do" if they don't have children lol. Basically, everyone should have less work, more flexible schedules, and realistic expectations given to them regardless of their personal life.
Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
21–30 of 136 posts
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#22Not for me. It's turbocharged my career. It helps that I'm at the level where management isn't seeing my contribution as hours in a chair. Having kids gave me something in common with all of our senior management. Anecdotally, that improved relationship has been a hell of a boost for my career success.
It certainly will depend on your individual situation. If your management is all childless workaholics, I can see how it would totally count against you.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#23No. Well... no. My first kid was born in 2006. I left a big 4 accounting firm after an acquisition in '10. Tried to do a start up with a friend... Health food delivery in Oakland in 2010, without any connection to any of the big VCs. Failed. Second kid was born the fall of '10, third in Winter '13. Looking at raw income numbers, I was making 85k in '06, 75k in '10 (had to find a job quickly after the startup failed -…
This may be a silly question, but what benefits do you find in caffeine pills over just having a cup of coffee?
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#24When you start the actual construction of a structure you may begin to fret that the amount of time you are able to devote to erecting the scaffolding around it is now in decline.
This is by design. The structure was always the goal.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#25"watch the kid" -- I think you spelled "be a parent" wrong.
I don't know where you are in your career, or what your expectation is of a career, but there are lots of companies out there where you can do interesting things, be well paid, and have time to balance your work and family life. You just need to look for it just like you were looking for a higher salary, more responsibility, or even use of a particular technology.
Asking about it at an interview may get you an answer, or rather, anything but an emphatic "yes" with some examples may be a strong negative sign. But I think the key thing is to decide what you want out of both a career and a family, and to find the job that puts you on that path.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#26Ever since i have had a kid, I have started asking the reverse question; Is my career dragging my parenting down? I always wanted be a good dad, whatever that means to each one of us, my career choices started showing up in conflict. I had to make choices. Overall, over the past few years having a kid really made me think about my priorities. It made me focus and plan more and improved my ability to do more in less t…
Thank you. I definitely try to strike a balance. As the primary earner, I feel there is a lot of pressure on me to deliver. It is definitely a difficult balancing act to balance being there for my family and providing for them. I look forward to this being only a few difficult years like you said.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#27who gives a fuck about making the man money. Enjoy your life, nobody who matters gives a shit about your job title.
I think too many people are obsessed with making "all of the money", when just "some of the money" leads to a better lifestyle.
That being said: People with kids get fired much more rarely, tend to get the promotions, have much more understanding around missing work, and parents tend to watch out for eachother.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#28I would not obsess about your employer's rating too much. Look at the economic perspective. I did this as an economic analysis some time ago for myself. (It was not kids, but another commitment in my case.) Your employer is a just a customer for your services. A lot of people forget that not only has the employment relationship to be beneficial to your employer, it has to be profitable to you as well. And profitability in your case, is not just the net money you make from the job. It is also the hedonic value you derive from NOT working, but instead spending that time with your kids. And the value of that you will find is very large. Not only will you derive enjoyment from the hours actually spent with them, you will be setting up the kids to have a happy healthy and productive life in the future and a having a great relationship with you. The economic value of helping raise a successful, well-adjusted adult is very very large. Compare that with the economic value of a slightly better rating. Even in economic terms, paying attention to your kids should be a no brainer.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#29But for kids, what is the point of a career?
Perhaps my POV is old-fashioned, but real honestly, the only reason I went to school, obtained a professional degree, and made fat stacks of Benjamins was to get a good wife (and then kids, etc.)
If that was not my plan, I would have lived in a shack on the beach and smoked dope all day.
Re: Ask HN: Do kids drag your career down?
#30Of course they do! You want to spend every minute you can with them and start cutting whatever corners you can with everything else.