> Additionally, there might be time pressures, political pressures, engineering constraints, access problems, and more. All of those (except possibly "engineering constraints") are merely excuses for why it ended up being garbage, not reasons why it's not garbage. This conversation goes both ways. When someone calls my work garbage, I can sit there and try to come up with excuses, or I can say "yes it is!" and we can…
thoughts > filter > communication > thoughts
With grown ups it should work like:
thoughts > communication > filter > thoughts
You want the full spectrum of gradients of terribility. If I wrote a "steaming pile of crap" I don't want to hear "it is not very good". "not very good" is reserved for things that are "not very good".
food half frozen != under cooked
The alternative is teaching people not to give you feedback because you are emotional unstable and might take it the wrong way.
Just because someone is a dick doesn't mean they are wrong. You have to adjust for their lack of social skills. You want to own the filter, don't require others to maintain it for you. That is a terrible idea! To them the trash talk is treasure.