Live data from Hacker News

Tell HN: Call Mom

news.ycombinator.com

211–220 of 243 posts

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#211

I was 22, that was the last mothers day my mother was alive for. Of course I didn't know at the time, but I didn't call. Im 44 now and its one of my biggest regrets. Dont be like me. Call her.

Regrets are hard. No one knows how yours feel and getting over them is almost impossible. Sending you some Universal Love

Thank you for your kindness, friendly stranger ^_^

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#212
post #41

I was 22, that was the last mothers day my mother was alive for. Of course I didn't know at the time, but I didn't call. Im 44 now and its one of my biggest regrets. Dont be like me. Call her.

My mom died young almost 17 years ago. I don’t have any regrets about not being close enough to her, I had dinner at my parents’ house once per week and spoke to her frequently. I wish I would’ve encouraged her more to stop smoking and maybe not go to the crappy suburban hospital she was insisting on going to. That’s probably my only regret with the whole thing.

Glad to hear you were close. Smoking is very hard to quit, it was not your fault.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#213
post #173

I was 22, that was the last mothers day my mother was alive for. Of course I didn't know at the time, but I didn't call. Im 44 now and its one of my biggest regrets. Dont be like me. Call her.

I know this wasn't the intent of the thread, and I appreciate what the intent was; but my mother died on Mother's Day about five years ago, and I had totally escaped/forgotten that today was Mother's Day in the United States until I read this thread topic. I guess due to all the COVID-19 news I somehow escaped the usual media barrage of Mothers' Day fanfare that is usually on the television/radio/net. While I was nev…

Im sorry for your loss, and I can relate to wishing to share things with my Mom, she was a great listener.

I try to explain that to my sons when they ignore their Mom, that one day she won't be there, but its very hard for teens to imagine.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#214
I literally have been calling my mom every single day for the past 8 years I've been away from home. In India we are very close with our parents, they make a lot of sacrifices to give us a good life. Most kids in India usually call their parents atleast 2 times a week.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#216

I hate collective kumbayas like this. Moms, dads, pets, god, children...birthdays, wedding days, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day...these celebrations are crude and unnecessary. If it’s something or someone one treasures, one ought to keep such celebrations about that private. Isn’t anything sacred anymore that it can’t be made into a hallmark card moment or be up on social media? There are so many people out there..An…

>Keep it private. No one cares. Or rather..no one should care. That is true freedom. This. I dare say I find it offensive that the post is asking me to do something that might very well be irrelevant, hurtful, useless, and all in all detrimental to my mental well being. I don't know why people generalize things like this.

fair enough.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#217
post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No. I’m not arguing anything . I’m cautioning the making of assumptions -even (maybe: ‘especially’?) in the face of cultural normatives. Edit: Expanding some, since brevity gives too much room for ambiguity: cultural norms for some can be a point of pain for others because of forces we as observers to the experiences of others may never have to contend with; assumptions in the face of these norms can sometimes box a…

This is an argument. How is it not? But I'm not sure what you're arguing for or even against at this point.

I articulated myself as clearly, intentionally and directly as I could on the topic. Not sure how else I can put it. Sorry.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#218

And if your mom is toxic and/or abusive and you are not in contact, or you have no mom, or for some other reason you can’t or know better than to call your mom: Don’t call Mom! Somebody needs to hear this today. :)

Thanks, it does help to hear that.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#219

And if your mom is toxic and/or abusive and you are not in contact, or you have no mom, or for some other reason you can’t or know better than to call your mom: Don’t call Mom! Somebody needs to hear this today. :)

I needed this.

Re: Tell HN: Call Mom

#220
post #114

I'm envious of people who have a kind of "best friend" relationship with their parents. My father, for example, I have almost nothing in common with. He's the political opposite of me, doesn't have any hobbies or share any of the same interests, and doesn't have the same sense of humour, so our conversation always falls flat. I bought him a laptop and introduced him to the internet because I thought he might find som…

You're going to get a lot of replies because this is an easy thing to have an opinion about. But the reason it is so is because it's incredibly subjective. you mention that your father is the polar opposite of you politically. Well, so is my mum and she is my best friend for sure. She's ardently pro-brexit and I think it's stupid, we've even argued about it heatedly. (although often it can be quite "nice" to get an o…

> The major difference might be that I have always had a "I trust you more than I trust myself" mentality, and I feel like I can tell her anything and not be judged. She doesn't have to give me solutions to every little problem but she will listen.

When I said "best friend relationship", this is what I was referring to. My real-life best friends don't share all of my interests or politics, so I know that's not the dealbreaker I may have made it out to be in my original post. The difference is that I can share my thoughts and feelings openly with my friends without feeling like they're going to share what I said with other people, or judge me, or take it upon themselves to fix my situation -- and I can't say the same for my parents.

I'm glad you're grateful for and recognise the special relationship you have with your Mother, as I think it's more rare than you may realize.

Post reply on HN