Please get rid of this
Tell HN: Call Mom
141–150 of 243 posts
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#142Last month my wife's family did Zoom calls on various birthdays in the family (I think there were 3 of them). By this point they're Zoomed-out and they just did individual calls to her mom.
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#143Is it a cultural thing Americans are so detached? Its usual here to call your family 2 to 4 times a week
> Is it a cultural thing Americans are so detached? I suspect so. Every inch of our culture pushes 18yo's away from siblings and parents. Some families overcome that and some don't. Through most of human history, families were physically close enough that parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles became interchangeable & elderly parents didn't have to die alone in nursing homes.
It is a cultural thing (as is living with and maintaining strong ties with extended family), but it's far from a uniquely American thing. Consider that with respect to individualist norms, in many of the most developed countries people choose to take advantage of the option to live separately because they can afford to comfortably do so. People generally don't like dying alone in my experience, but some (in the US/Canada, much of NW Europe, etc.) don't like being suffocated either.
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#144Why are other people concerned about the relationship dynamics in the families of others that do not affect them?
Won’t people who already want to do this do this without prompting? Will people who don’t want to suddenly change their mind because they were prompted?
What is the intended goal of this post, benatkin? Do you wish for people who don’t want to speak to their mothers to do so anyway, because you told them to do so? Are you worried that people who do wish to do so will forget?
In either case, these sorts of societal nudging always struck me personally as really quite rude, the sort of thing that might warrant a “mind your own mother” sort of reply.
It seems to me that it warrants a reminder that your cultural norms and values and priorities need not be the same cultural norms and values and priorities of those around you, and those others are not wrong for diverging from your own views.
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#145Can someone please help me understand? I feel such a strong aversion to acknowledge almost every holiday, especially marketing-driven ones like Mother’s Day. Frankly saying “happy Mother’s Day” feels like I’m defiling myself and mindlessly buying into propaganda. Isn’t it enough to treat mothers/fathers/etc well on a regular basis? Doesn’t that mean more than a call/card once a year? I don’t want to be this way. Help…
How does your mom feel about the holiday? I feel much the same way about birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's Day, etc. I know those I care about will feel some hurt if I don't do the thing, so that's what I base my actions on.
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#146Worth noting while 40+ countries celebrate Mother’s Day — per country, the holiday’s actual date varies. See the wiki page for more information: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day
Also worth noting that today is considered Mother’s Day in ~96 countries based on the entry, making this date the single largest alignment of Mother’s Day celebrations in the world.
The second place goes to March 8th (International Women’s Day) which has 20 countries.
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#147Thanks! I had almost forgotten.
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#148Can someone please help me understand? I feel such a strong aversion to acknowledge almost every holiday, especially marketing-driven ones like Mother’s Day. Frankly saying “happy Mother’s Day” feels like I’m defiling myself and mindlessly buying into propaganda. Isn’t it enough to treat mothers/fathers/etc well on a regular basis? Doesn’t that mean more than a call/card once a year? I don’t want to be this way. Help…
You may see it this way, but women appreciate you remembering the small stuff. A call doesn't cost you anything, a tiny card costs you $1.98 at Dollar Tree. It's worth it to make your mom feel special for a day no?
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#149My mom is an alcoholic who had no problems giving me away when I was very young. At age 69 she substituted booze for tablets and sees nothing wrong that she lived for more than 5 decades on public welfare. I maintain zero contact even on her birthday, so I will not be calling her today. Thanks for listening.
Re: Tell HN: Call Mom
#150I used to call my family every weekend, since I became a dad we talk 2-3 per week, the newborn has rejuvenated the family relationship and on my side I understand more what being a mum means. My boy is 1 year old and I would never understand some of the things mum did until I saw this little one grow. Call your mom's regardless.
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