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I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

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Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#81

Post by mcv »

mikekchar wrote: post #41
ardit33 wrote: post #8

It is impossible to be really good at everything.... when I optimized for work, my fitness goals went through the window. When I optimized to get a project done, my reading (books) went down as well. When I optimized for fitness (working out and soccer), my work and side projects started progressing slower. It is very hard to work on your project at home, when you are in a intense bulking, or 'cutting' phase, and onc…

I have a "rule of 3". You can be quite good at 3 things (give or take). One of them will probably be your job. One will probably be your relationships. You have time for 1 more. If you keep changing your mind about what that last one will be, then you will only be good at 2 things. There are ways to be good at only 1 thing as well.... or even 0...

I think you also get better at some things as you get older, an some things require more upkeep than others.

For example, it's only been fairly recent since I dared to claim I'm pretty good at programming. And not even all aspects of it, but there are some aspects where I really notice I'm better at it than my co-workers. I've been doing this professionally for 20 years, so I guess it's about time I got good at it.

I've always thought I was pretty good at sailing; I think I have a talent for it. Used to do it a lot back in the day, but haven't been able to sail much in recent years. I'm not doing the upkeep, but I don't think I forgot any of it. I think I can jump in a boat and sail safely while teaching someone else. I don't think sailing costs nearly as much upkeep as something like physical fitness, which drops pretty quickly once you stop exercising.

I'm good at cycling, but doing the upkeep for this is easy: just take the bike when you go anywhere. I'm not as fast as when I was younger, but still faster than most.

I've been playing RPGs all my life, but I think I only recently got good at GMing (I've done it plenty of times before, but it was very hit and miss, and the misses sucked bad). But that's something I've been putting a lot of time and effort in lately. I clearly don't have any natural talent for it, but I've managed to accumulate quite a bit of experience over the decades. I still lack the discipline to do thorough prep, but experience fills in a lot of the details.

Despite having played a ton of different instruments (drums, keyboard, guitar), I've never gotten good at music. I lacked the discipline to practice every day, and though I would like to be better at it, I'm clearly not as passionate about it as I am about gaming.

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#84

Post by OakNinja »

karol wrote: post #55

When I worked for a pensions company they sat me next to the CEO. He was a pleasant man most of the time, who could sometimes show a touch of arrogance towards his PA. I saw him mostly work at a slide deck all week and reading a book called Grit. Later I noticed he put a few sentences from the book into his deck. "We don't go home when we are tired, we go home when we are done" stuck in my head. After a few years of…

Like a friend of mine who collapsed after, comparably, running a marathon when he had not fully recovered from the flu/covid-19 or something similar. He’s OK now though. He never bails out unless unconscious. He’s one of the most reliable persons I’ve ever known, and he has gotten where he wants to in life so it’s not necessarily bad.

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#86

Post by yomly »

ardit33 wrote: post #8

It is impossible to be really good at everything.... when I optimized for work, my fitness goals went through the window. When I optimized to get a project done, my reading (books) went down as well. When I optimized for fitness (working out and soccer), my work and side projects started progressing slower. It is very hard to work on your project at home, when you are in a intense bulking, or 'cutting' phase, and onc…

Yes my findings match yours. "Gains" take much more focus and dedication than just showing up. That is true for muscle mass, performance, side projects and learning.

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#88

Post by hackissimo123 »

gnramires wrote: post #9

It is important to learn when to give up too. I guess this isn't talked about as much. Give up what you dislike or don't have real potential in favor of what you love etc. There are countless good examples of course; off the top of my head: - Darwin neglected his medical studies, to a point his father sent him elsewhere to become a parson (priest). All while pursuing his interests, and slacking off occasionally. "Dar…

Interestingly, the book cited in the link (Range by Epstein) talks about "grit" but it also talks about this same point - successful individuals are (generally) not only those who have grit but those who are good at knowing when it's worth persisting with grit and when it's better to give up.

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#89

Post by wegs »

oska wrote: post #63
doublesCs wrote: post #38

I have learned the same thing about myself: I am (relatively) successful not because my grit allowed me to keep doing something which I disliked but were rewarded, but because the things I enjoy doing are things which are valued by our society. I realized this after reading the following Warren Buffet quote[1]: "I happen to have a talent for allocating capital. But my ability to use that talent is completely dependen…

Somehow I think Buffett would have ended up a parasite in any society. There's always been a niche for the Buffett type.

Why do you think he's a parasite? He seems to live a modest life, and work very hard to make the economy work more efficiently. He's giving almost all of his money to philanthropic causes, and seems to campaign for all the right causes. He maintains a pretty low profile for his level of success (he doesn't even support philanthropy through his own family foundation; he went with Gates, since he thought they'd do a better job).

I think he's had about $10 million in frivolous spending in his life (a plane, and a home in California).

I agree most people in the financial sector seem to be parasites, but Warren doesn't seem that way.

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#90

Post by wegs »

fs111 wrote: post #35

It is not important to work hard, it is important to be happy. Stop glorifying the act of working, please.

To me, a lifelong search for happiness seems flawed and ephemeral. It's culturally very American, but doesn't seem to lead to happiness.

I strive for purpose, meaning, and positive impact. When I succeed, I'm happy. That drives how I pick my job and how I run my family life. The Frankl book "Man's Search for Meaning" makes a good case for this as a life goal.

I'm not going to my categorical statements like yours. But in my life philosophy, it's not so much important to be happy, as to be a good person and to have a fulfilling life.

But if other people have other values -- glorifying working hard for example -- it's important to respect that too.

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