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I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

secondbreakfast.co

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Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#31

Post by momentbruh »

ardit33 wrote: post #14
jimbob45 wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not impossible...but it requires strict time management and everyone else in your life will try to steal your earmarked time and complain that you never want to do anything. Even then, I agree - I'm constantly accidentally over prioritizing and having to even back out.

yeah, it is physically impossible.... I gave you two disciplines: bulking up in the gym, or playing soccer... while bulking up, you gain both muscle and some fat, and your soccer performance will suffer as your weight will increase, and your larger biceps and pecs really wont help your soccer game much (there is a reason that pro soccer players don't look like body builders). Also playing lots of soccer will hurt you…

You are not going to be the best you can be at anything, unless you focus on it every waking hour of the week. Let go of that illusion and training things concurrently is a lot less anxiety-inducing.

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#32

Post by _hao »

I can see where the author is coming from and I think most of us have made sacrifices when it comes to things we wanted to learn or achieve. Time is never enough, social obligations pull you further etc. There are many reasons for that.

I think people should choose wisely where they want to spend their time. The quote "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you get good at" by one True Detective is very poignant.

That's why I prioritize when I need and I say "when" because the constant fight to prioritize for time is also time consuming and energy draining. If I'm reading an interesting book, I'll prioritize finishing it and I'll work less on my projects, but I'll leave enough time in the day for exercise (which is something very important to me) and work on them. That's on top of having a full time job and a partner. If you make yourself a routine based on certain slots you can use, no matter for what (top priority at the time) things move and happen! Projects get finished! Books get read! Exercise is done and you feel good and aching.

We're not just machines despite how prevalent that sentiment is. We change all the time and life is change itself - constant movement. You either go with the flow and make your decisions based on the circumstances or you stop and die (mentally, psychologically).

Continuing when you're hit with adversity is what "grit" is. If you really want to do it, you'll find a way to do it. But you have to make it easier for yourself and that is a constant fight!

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#33

Post by onion2k »

jimbob45 wrote: post #11
ardit33 wrote: post #8

It is impossible to be really good at everything.... when I optimized for work, my fitness goals went through the window. When I optimized to get a project done, my reading (books) went down as well. When I optimized for fitness (working out and soccer), my work and side projects started progressing slower. It is very hard to work on your project at home, when you are in a intense bulking, or 'cutting' phase, and onc…

It's not impossible...but it requires strict time management and everyone else in your life will try to steal your earmarked time and complain that you never want to do anything. Even then, I agree - I'm constantly accidentally over prioritizing and having to even back out.

everyone else in your life will try to steal your earmarked time and complain that you never want to do anything

Being able to say "No", and being willing to let people down because there are things you need to do that are more important than them, is a really important skill when you're running a startup.

You can't succeed if you're giving up all your time to other people's things. You have to stop and tell them you won't do what they're asking because you're focusing on your own stuff. They will complain. Some of them will stop talking to you. You might really annoy your family. Your real friends will understand and still be there when you're finished. Some of them might happily come along and help you with what you're doing.

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#34

Post by friendlybus »

sillysaurusx wrote: post #26
jzer0cool wrote: post #24

Grit = Just Do It (Nike Slogan). My easy definition: while(person_has_grit) { if(pivot) continue; if(give_up) break; } person_has_grit = false;

Grit is overrated. Determination is what matters. Grit implies you'd grind yourself down at a task you know probably won't go well for you, just because you'd never give up, even when you get zero enjoyment or satisfaction out of it.

Grit is finding the smallest gains and consistently hitting them in a difficult situation. It burns time to hold space. It works best when you need to hold something at nearly any cost. Its rare morale holds that long without a strong structure backing it up.

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#38

Post by doublesCs »

I have learned the same thing about myself: I am (relatively) successful not because my grit allowed me to keep doing something which I disliked but were rewarded, but because the things I enjoy doing are things which are valued by our society.

I realized this after reading the following Warren Buffet quote[1]:

"I happen to have a talent for allocating capital. But my ability to use that talent is completely dependent on the society I was born into. If I’d been born into a tribe of hunters, this talent of mine would be pretty worthless. I can’t run very fast. I’m not particularly strong. I’d probably end up as some wild animal’s dinner. But I was lucky enough to be born in a time and place where society values my talent, and gave me a good education to develop that talent, and set up the laws and the financial system to let me do what I love doing — and make a lot of money doing it. The least I can do is help pay for all that."

[1] https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Warren_Buffett

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#39

Post by friendlybus »

I dont get this article. Is he blaming the school for complimenting displayed characteristics?

Does he think an element of character is a superpowered attribute that works everywhere like a videogame?

Take the complement and move on, your character is not the same as fixed biological attributes or abilities. You weren't "tricked".

Re: I was tricked into thinking I had “grit”

#40

Post by hef19898 »

onion2k wrote: post #33
jimbob45 wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not impossible...but it requires strict time management and everyone else in your life will try to steal your earmarked time and complain that you never want to do anything. Even then, I agree - I'm constantly accidentally over prioritizing and having to even back out.

everyone else in your life will try to steal your earmarked time and complain that you never want to do anything Being able to say "No", and being willing to let people down because there are things you need to do that are more important than them, is a really important skill when you're running a startup. You can't succeed if you're giving up all your time to other people's things. You have to stop and tell them you…

You are dscribing a perfect way for an early burn-out and a lonely life.

Relationships are one of the most important things in life, and I say this as a guy who could litteraly not talk to anyone for two weeks strait. It's relationships with people that get you your first customers for your start-up, your key employees. relationships keep you down to earth, friends and fmily. The latter being one of the most important elements in your life, your kids and spouse.

Why am I saying this? Because relationships go both ways. When you care about people, chances are some of them will care about you as well. And if you don't really care about your customers, your company is screwed anyway.

Granted, everyone has a different bandwidth to handle these relationships, and seperating the toxic ones from the rest is problem. Which makes relationships all the more important.

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