Extremely disillusioned with technology. Please help

Interesting way to post the question, if we are truly "done" with tech.

I'd say a LiveJournal entry might be more apropos. :)

TL;DR: Maybe tech isn't your gig. It's important to find what is.

First, my heart goes out to you. It really does stink to be where you are.

I'd say it's a matter of expectations. The "conventional wisdom" is "Don't have expectations, and you won't be disappointed."

Sounds good. I have yet to meet anyone that truly meets that bar.

We all have expectations. It's human nature.

The deal is how we react to those expectations.

I get my expectations trounced on a regular basis. That which does not kill me, makes me stronger.

Except for Dilbert's corollary: "That which does not kill me, leaves me weak and exhausted."

When you signed up for a tech career, why did you sign up for it? What did you expect?

In the 1980s, there was an explosion of doctors and lawyers. Medical schools were so crowded that people had to study abroad.

The reason was that a doctor could look forward to a six-figure salary (and a six-figure insurance bill); right out of the starting gate. Lawyers...maybe not as much, but LA Law was a popular show, back then, so everyone thought it was the best career move ever.

That resulted in a ton of mediocre doctors and lawyers. They didn't love what they did.

My father was a Harvard-graduate lawyer. Top of his class. Silver Star war hero (planted in Arlington). He could have written his own checks.

But he hated it, and joined the CIA, instead (which he later quit in disgust). I think he felt that he should have learned a different career, all his life. He was never happy, and that broke my heart.

SO HERE'S WHERE I MAKE IT ALL ABOUT ME:

It also taught me that it's really important to be happy with my vocation.

So here I am...refactoring myself to be happy.

I was a manager for a significant part of my career. I was very good at it.

And hated it. Being good at something is not the same as being happy doing it.

I love tech. My worst nightmare is to feel the way you do (talking to the poster). Nothing gives me more joy than to craft a superb application, and know that it is as close to perfect as God will allow.

That means that I have to be careful who I let have any control over my work. The current tech scene is absolutely nuts about money and prestige. People are more than willing to peddle cow flops, if they can buy a Tesla with the proceeds.

Others use money as a leash and a lash, to tie us down and force us to do their bidding.

People like me are nothing but transient resources to be used up and discarded.

So I have enough set aside to be...OK (not rolling in dough); even after this current kerfuffle. It allows me to be picky about what I do, and who I let have control of my work.

I'm really really into quality software. You might say that I'm obsessed. To me, it's a craft.

Think of me as the old Swiss guy, making cuckoo clocks in his garage. There's not much of a market for cuckoo clocks, but my clocks are gonna be the best clocks you can get. I won't let anyone force me to use crappy pine, when walnut is what works best, and I won't mass-produce them.

But I'm a happy little old clock maker, and if anyone wants really good cuckoo clocks, they know where to go. They just have to work with me, and not expect me to be hog-tied by bling.

I sincerely wish you the best, and hope you get your groove back.

I feel like every engineer, at some point in their life, learns that engineering is a discipline devoted to producing value, typically business value, not one devoted to building cool shit. All else is just dealing with the implications of that.

You can't let work be your whole life or it's going to eat you up. Everyone should read how things are done at Joel's company. Joel spolsky knows how to create a responsible work environment that is sustainable that won't burn out engineers. Here is his key advice: 20 hours of your work week you spend on your SE studies + medition/rest/yoga + administrative stuff + meetings. the other 20 hours is on coding. If you're doing more than 40 hours per week, your not sustainable, and you need to do something to change that. Working at a start up is no excuse, not enough runway is no excuse. The only time you should be working more than 40 hours a week is if you own the freakin company or at least 30% of it.

This. and let's add: don't use fancy frameworks (that are cool and popular) that cause many headaches for you down the road.

The author needs to try BSD