21–30 of 46 posts
Steer clear and look for another opportunity.
If no, then how about you try talking to them, making them aware of the impact of their behavior on you? You could go like:
"Hey, I've been meaning to talk to you for a while but I didn't know how to put it best, I'd appreciate it if you listen to me until the end, I have observed and I personally think of them as , I'd appreciate it if you could express your ideas/talk to me/write me in a way that is more productive and constructive. I don't want our interactions to always end up being negative and I am actually looking forward to discussing a lot of your ideas in the future. What do you think?"
EDIT: formatting
Talk to other co-workers you trust about how you feel about the guy. If you find 3-4 people who feel like you feel, just arrange to go together to your manager, and ask that this person be fired (don’t settle for less). If you’re ready to quit over this, it doesn’t matter if the process backfires. But if the process doesn’t work, go to the boss of your boss and HR. A toxic work environment is very detrimental to prod…
During my one on one with my manager, I mentioned toxic environment without naming names. My manager told me that management was aware of them but was not able to do anything since they never really crossed line and no one ever filed any complaints. He said if enough developers complaint then they can take action even without bullies crossing actual line.
Of course, I didn't want to rally anyone to file complaints. But my manager told me they were not untouchable. So I started holding my ground and eventually bullies left me alone.
If you have to ask, it's usually best not to confront them directly. People who act this way are ready, even eager to get into a fight. Sort of like fighting a bigger person, you want to disarm them. A standard tactic is to be genuinely nice to them. You don't have to like them, but being polite makes them look worse when they are not. You can even be generous to them. This might actually give you some insight to why…
That's excellent advice. Here's less reasonable advice that I've also found works well: bait toxic people into bad behavior. Figure out what gets the biggest response out of them while looking super reasonable yourself. Try to get them fired up as much as possible so they're annoying everyone, especially their manager, and not just you. The more people angry with the toxic person, the shorter their lifespan. Give the…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
You are just asking for it. q: “I’m struggling to understand your point, could you restate this in another way for me?” a: 'Your self declared lack of understanding coding standards and basic principles explains "quality" of code you keep submitting'
"You misunderstand. I'm struggling to understand your point because you've made it in a way that focuses more on challenging my intelligence than making yours known." and if he retorts that one in the same way just key his car or something.
What helps is not arguing via tools/email/chat. Just don't go there. It's a waste of time and just adds fuel to the flames. Lots of techies have trouble communicating effectively and keyboards generally don't improve things. Just because somebody is being immature doesn't mean they mean you have to take it personally. Escalating to your boss/calling them out in public is a last resort. Your boss will be annoyed that he/she has to be the grown up in the room instead of you.
Instead try to de-escalate and just walk over to the person and ask them to clarify and have a friendly chat about whatever it is that's bothering them and why that's bothering them and try to be constructive. "OK, you think this PR is not ready yet. How do I fix it?". You'd be surprised how often a friendly, informal chat can clear the air. Maybe you still won't agree with them 100%, that's fine. If so, ask yourself what it's worth to you to continue to argue or to simply do things their way.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
That's excellent advice. Here's less reasonable advice that I've also found works well: bait toxic people into bad behavior. Figure out what gets the biggest response out of them while looking super reasonable yourself. Try to get them fired up as much as possible so they're annoying everyone, especially their manager, and not just you. The more people angry with the toxic person, the shorter their lifespan. Give the…
I'd much rather prefer working with a bully instead of someone who is trying to trick an alleged bully into destructive behavior, personally