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1-on-1 meeting questions

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Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#181

Post by Forge36 »

lightbendover wrote: post #177
Forge36 wrote: post #157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you for your honesty. It sounds like you aren't close with them. There is nothing wrong with that. Do you have anyone you are close with to talk about things? Is there anything going on in your personal life you need to deal with which may be impacting your work? IE: I care about more than just the work you do, I care about you. I'd like you to be happy and know more about your life to ensure when you turn into…

Not the OP, but his or her situation is very similar to my own. There's a really good chance I would give my director a snarky "full truth" answer about my disaster as a family if asked. If she then took the opportunity to pry further, I would be greatly annoyed to say the least. I'm an adult and can compartmentalize an atypical family, thanks. It's not miserable, it's just nothing.

Thank you. I agree: prying further would be very rude. Knowing that detail can help determine the implication/feelings on other responses, such as if you later shared "my parents stopped by last night". I can avoid asking "did you have fun?" and instead ask "how did it go?" Or "anything you need today?". The answer may be "no", however you may add something (ie: I just need a breather) which helps let me know to avoid placing additional burdens on you today if they are not urgent.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#183

Post by foobarian »

krzyk wrote: post #153
dehrmann wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> career development is more of a once per year thing If you see it that way, it's a never thing. Career development is an always thing.

OK, and what should I tell? I want to code and I want money, more money the better. Oh, and I don't want bulshit meetings (1on1s included). That's basically it for my career, I don't want to be a manager, I don't want to be a tech lead (been there, hated every 3 years of it). What is there more to talk about? My manager thinks that to be a better individual contributor (go up a ladder) I should do something outside m…

Depending on how well you know your manager it might be OK to tell him as much, and let him help you accomplish it. But I can tell you that there is a sharp limit to the money you can make as a coding-focused IC - to get more you need to level up to senior/principal and finish projects that take multiple people to execute - the more the better. That's just the way it is.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#184

Post by joncrane »

abraxas wrote: post #179
octodog wrote: post #169

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Surely there are other options your manager and you can look at that fall between having an open floorplan and not having one. Get them to buy you noise cancelling headphones or something.

Visual noise is as bad as audible noise. What's next, horse blinders?

I have fantasized about draping a thick black curtain around my workstation to try to focus. Do you think that would fly?

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#185

Post by huhtenberg »

Forge36 wrote: post #157
huhtenberg wrote: post #144

> How are your parents/grandparents? "Grandparents are dead. Parents are divorced. Father is a roaring alcoholic, mother is on a death bed with cancer. Also they are both A-grade assholes that made my childhood miserable." Really sets the mood for the rest of the interview, doesn't it? In other words, stay the hell away from any personal questions.

Thank you for your honesty. It sounds like you aren't close with them. There is nothing wrong with that. Do you have anyone you are close with to talk about things? Is there anything going on in your personal life you need to deal with which may be impacting your work? IE: I care about more than just the work you do, I care about you. I'd like you to be happy and know more about your life to ensure when you turn into…

If it's not clear, I made it all up to illustrate the point.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#186

Post by Forge36 »

huhtenberg wrote: post #185
Forge36 wrote: post #157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you for your honesty. It sounds like you aren't close with them. There is nothing wrong with that. Do you have anyone you are close with to talk about things? Is there anything going on in your personal life you need to deal with which may be impacting your work? IE: I care about more than just the work you do, I care about you. I'd like you to be happy and know more about your life to ensure when you turn into…

If it's not clear, I made it all up to illustrate the point.

That was my impression. It's a difficult conversation. With a bad manager I can definitely see it going poorly. With a good one: your response ends the topic and we move on and helps shape the context of future questions and communication. Everyone has a bad day, knowing when someone is having one, without it being explicitly mentioned, can help reduce stress at work.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#187

Post by cambalache »

lonelappde wrote: post #72
cambalache wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That is just your opinion. To offer an anecdotal counterbalance, I was a cog in a 100k+ employee fortune-20 company. Nothing was more demoralizing, soul-sucking and useless than an 1:1 meeting. I always felt like crying out and quitting. This in a career with 10 different managers, 5 different nationalities.

Was that the only bad part of the job? Or merely a symptom of the larger problem. Perhaps the motivation to quit was a positive outcome. Why did you end up leaving?

It was not the only reason of course. I was fired in a downsizing. It is a bad idea to be a loner who has 0 political skills in a big company.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#188

Post by jevanish »

VectorLock wrote: post #86
RotaryTelephone wrote: post #63

My 1on1's at a 100k+ international corporation always went like this: Manager: so how's it going? Me: great Manager: any issues? anything you want to discuss? Me: everything is fantastic! I'm very happy with my job :D Manager: cool cool... well let's do this again next month. Me: yay! I don't want someone in a similar situation like I was to get inspired by lists like these and go into their next 1on1 wrecking havoc…

I find myself doing those exact kind of 1:1s with my reports and I HATE it. This at least provides, I think, maybe some inspiration on some better questions to ask.

Why do you think they hate it?

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#189

Post by cameronbrown »

hw wrote: post #129
koonsolo wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What a strange, helpless way to look at the world. Employment is not a boss->servant relationship, it's a relationship where both parties gain something. You offer a service, and they pay for that. End of story. They act out? Then you find someone else who needs your services. As a programmer myself, I'm in this great position where there is a shortage of good developers, and plenty of companies searching for good de…

First of all, if your manager is any good, (s)he will already have replacements in the pipeline, given the musical chairs nature of the industry. Second, why aren't you already at a different job that pays you more instead of hanging that over your manager's head? Third, don't underestimate how many other good developers that are out there, looking for the next job. It might not require 6 months of training for the n…

> I'm not sure what kind of company you work for, but 6 months of training is ridiculously long, unless there is a lot of institutional knowledge that's siloed amongst a small subset of employees - which should never happen in the first place, if your manager was any good.

At Google there's an expectation that you won't be 'productive' for 6 months after joining, though that's not surprising considering how different everything is.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#190

Post by l0b0 »

birdyrooster wrote: post #119
RotaryTelephone wrote: post #63

My 1on1's at a 100k+ international corporation always went like this: Manager: so how's it going? Me: great Manager: any issues? anything you want to discuss? Me: everything is fantastic! I'm very happy with my job :D Manager: cool cool... well let's do this again next month. Me: yay! I don't want someone in a similar situation like I was to get inspired by lists like these and go into their next 1on1 wrecking havoc…

If you are going to get smarmy with “Understand where you work before opening your mouth, people ;)” Then I’ll be blunt with you too. You are a coward and hold our industry back.

This is basically learned helplessness - the idea that you're powerless to change your own situation for the better. I suspect it happens to most of us, but yes, it's holding humanity back in many ways.
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