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1-on-1 meeting questions

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Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#171

Post by nickcox »

Beldur wrote: post #164
RotaryTelephone wrote: post #63

My 1on1's at a 100k+ international corporation always went like this: Manager: so how's it going? Me: great Manager: any issues? anything you want to discuss? Me: everything is fantastic! I'm very happy with my job :D Manager: cool cool... well let's do this again next month. Me: yay! I don't want someone in a similar situation like I was to get inspired by lists like these and go into their next 1on1 wrecking havoc…

In a study that was done by the guys at Manager-Tools, they found out that a 1o1 every 4 weeks is worse than no 1o1 at all.

Don't happen to have a link, do you?

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#172

Post by artsyca »

dvfjsdhgfv wrote: post #50
scarface74 wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is always a power imbalance between a subordinate and a manager. There is no “genuine trust” with a manager. If your manager was told that their were imminent layoffs and they were told not to tell you, do you think they would? Would you tell your manager that you are hoping to learn all you can to get a better paying job in a year?

Of course there is no trust, and this lack of trust is pouring from all these questions. Personally I encourage the people who report to me to always come to me with any issues they may have and never wait until a 1 on 1.

You have to distinguish between yourself as Mr. Nice Guy Manager™ and management culture as a whole where incentives are so ass backwards that people are cutting off their noses to spite their face and kowtowing to a bunch of geriatric co conspirators rather than advocating for the needs of the client relationship and their own so called subordinates this kind of behaviour is nothing more than a pyramid scheme where the prize is coronavirus for everyone

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#173

Post by artsyca »

dvfjsdhgfv wrote: post #50
scarface74 wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is always a power imbalance between a subordinate and a manager. There is no “genuine trust” with a manager. If your manager was told that their were imminent layoffs and they were told not to tell you, do you think they would? Would you tell your manager that you are hoping to learn all you can to get a better paying job in a year?

Of course there is no trust, and this lack of trust is pouring from all these questions. Personally I encourage the people who report to me to always come to me with any issues they may have and never wait until a 1 on 1.

Actually this whole 1:1 thing is nothing but a prisoners dilemma played out over and over in various ways by people who claim to be experts in game theory but fail to recognize the game is playing them

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#174

Post by artsyca »

artsyca wrote: post #173
dvfjsdhgfv wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Of course there is no trust, and this lack of trust is pouring from all these questions. Personally I encourage the people who report to me to always come to me with any issues they may have and never wait until a 1 on 1.

Actually this whole 1:1 thing is nothing but a prisoners dilemma played out over and over in various ways by people who claim to be experts in game theory but fail to recognize the game is playing them

Or if you've ever read about the cooperation dilemma which is a variation of this conundrum

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#175

Post by keehun »

anonred wrote: post #120

Questions aside, I honestly thought the steps to submit a new question was satire... Contributing 1. Fork it 2. Run npm install 3. Add your resource to questions.json 4. Run node index to update README.md with your changes 5. Create your feature branch (git checkout -b my-new-feature) 6. Commit your changes (git commit -am "Add some feature") 7. Push to the branch (git push origin my-new-feature) 8. Create new Pull R…

This has been changed, and it's a much simpler, less ridiculous list now: https://github.com/VGraupera/1on1-questions/commit/b90e94f6b...

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#176

Post by ClearAndPresent »

Do you feel you’re getting enough feedback? Why/why not? Feedback.

Do you have any feedback for me? Feedback.

Do you think that you receive enough feedback? Feeback.

Is feedback helpful for your personal development? Feedback.

What can I do to help you get the feedback you want? Feedback.

All replicants will be detected.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#177

Post by lightbendover »

Forge36 wrote: post #157
huhtenberg wrote: post #144

> How are your parents/grandparents? "Grandparents are dead. Parents are divorced. Father is a roaring alcoholic, mother is on a death bed with cancer. Also they are both A-grade assholes that made my childhood miserable." Really sets the mood for the rest of the interview, doesn't it? In other words, stay the hell away from any personal questions.

Thank you for your honesty. It sounds like you aren't close with them. There is nothing wrong with that. Do you have anyone you are close with to talk about things? Is there anything going on in your personal life you need to deal with which may be impacting your work? IE: I care about more than just the work you do, I care about you. I'd like you to be happy and know more about your life to ensure when you turn into…

Not the OP, but his or her situation is very similar to my own. There's a really good chance I would give my director a snarky "full truth" answer about my disaster as a family if asked. If she then took the opportunity to pry further, I would be greatly annoyed to say the least. I'm an adult and can compartmentalize an atypical family, thanks. It's not miserable, it's just nothing.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#178

Post by Forge36 »

sabas123 wrote: post #167
Forge36 wrote: post #157

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you for your honesty. It sounds like you aren't close with them. There is nothing wrong with that. Do you have anyone you are close with to talk about things? Is there anything going on in your personal life you need to deal with which may be impacting your work? IE: I care about more than just the work you do, I care about you. I'd like you to be happy and know more about your life to ensure when you turn into…

> If your quote is truly what's happening in your life, I'm sorry. That sounds miserable, in posting here: I can't tell why you shared that. If I was your manager, is this a recent development and you need time to process? If not what prompted you to be so honest with me? Is there anything else you'd like to share? Do you always expect us to lie or spend emotional energy on making it sound happy? Real shit happens an…

No I don't want you to put energy into making it sound happy. I want the truth, and I'm divided on my response. Is the parent Q an example of "how things go bad" or "here's the hard truth".

My response tries (though based on your response failed) to answer both questions while staying supportive of the person in responding to.

Your are correct, and I'm confused by the part you choose to quote however. As my sentence preceding it

>Shit happens, if you're looking for happy things from your employees don't ask them these questions.

It feels like we're agreeing, but it feels like our tone is getting lost over text and comes across as disagreement.

I can relate the to sentiment. I moved away from my family, avoid taking to them when possible, and generally do not want to talk about family at work. My manager does not ask these questions, and when I'm struggling I don't know how he covers for me when I turn into an ass.

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#179

Post by abraxas »

octodog wrote: post #169
ken wrote: post #135

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You are fortunate that the problems with modern software shops happen to align with the types of problems you can deal with. For example, there aren't plenty of companies with quiet offices searching for developers. When I tell my manager "The noise in this new open floorplan office is killing my productivity", they say "OK, well, that's not going to change", and then we spend the rest of the hour rearranging deck ch…

Surely there are other options your manager and you can look at that fall between having an open floorplan and not having one. Get them to buy you noise cancelling headphones or something.

Visual noise is as bad as audible noise. What's next, horse blinders?

Re: 1-on-1 meeting questions

#180

Post by empath75 »

skizm wrote: post #61

As a grunt IC 1 on 1s are a nightmare for me. I never know what to talk about. All current project stuff is hashed out in or after scrum. Career development is more of a once per year thing (at least not weekly). If I had a problem with any of my team members I would have brought it up by now (assuming I thought others felt that way, I don't want to be the only one to bring it up or I'll be seen as the problem). For…

> Personal life nonsense? I'm your co-worker, not your friend.

Changing this attitude contributed as much to my doubling and then almost tripling my salary over the course of a few years as much as anything technical did.

Your managers and coworkers are human beings and engaging with them like human beings will open doors for you.

I pretty much only talk about personal stuff in one on ones, and will use maybe one out of five as a venting session or to talk about ideas I have.

You want to be someone that people, particularly managers enjoy seeing come in to work every day, and that’s not always or even mostly about being productive. Sometimes they just want someone they can talk about sports or video games with, or someone they can talk about their home life with over drinks — and sometimes I do, too. Spending 40 hours a week with people you don’t like is lonely.

It’s not just about kissing ass— I’ve started more than one project because of conversations I had over drinks where people were just venting about their jobs and I realized I could do something to make their jobs easier.

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