Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

I strongly, but politely, disagree because I took a year off and completely retooled my career. You must exercise, eat healthy, keep a schedule, and eliminate all distractions. Live somewhere cheap and focus on career and personal development. Don’t look for a job until 10 months of intense studying and development. Only do this if you are truly committed to changing the direction of your career. This was probably the best decision I’ve made in my career.

This was how it was for me. I got burnt out coding a lot and studying for interviews (as I'm mostly self taught). I started going to therapy, but got fired after working under an awful manager that I didn't feel comfortable opening up to. Interviewing while unemployed pushed me further into burn out.

Coding originally pulled me out of a funk, it gave me something to work at. But now, I feel like I lost so much passion. I can't imagine coding in my free time even if I wasn't a developer anymore.

Thank you for this comment! I am actually in a similar situation right now, took a break from college and working on myself, learning about programming and trying hard to improve my english. Sometimes it just kinda feels pointless, like why am i even doing this and theres a plethora of self doubt and self hatred. But your comment kinda made me feel a bit more motivated, so thank you for that :)

I go through regular bouts of depression and burnout due to lifestyle, at this point they're more like colds as I handle them quickly with a system(due to how the business is doing/what's happening in life).

Others can feel free to agree or disagree with me, this is what works for me:

Read - A minor level of isolation is okay as long as it's not with your thoughts, read something uplifting or insightful (I recently read the Rosie Result, and Meditations post breakup).

Active - Physically, join a gym or running group, something social to at least be around people, you don't necessarily have to engage, but in climbing gyms for example, people tend to.

Active - Socially, like many have said: keep the job, join a group where you can help others, there are plenty of chances to volunteer, or join groups where you can help in Toronto, it's useful for distracting from what was, and thinking more about what can be. Talk to friends about your issues, maybe they're been through something like it and can help unlock an important facet as to why you're feeling the way you are.

Consistency - a pattern will help you to keep moving along, I can't stress enough that as long as there's no serious underlying psychological issue, only time and mental distractions will help.

Mental - Professional - Get help (I see that you are which is amazing, this is only to cover my suggestions). A good professional can help guide you along if you're willing to help them.

Mental - Personal - Meditation helps, I've recently been doing transcendental meditation, and honestly, it's pretty rad. It's not life changing, but it tones down the thoughts by a notch, at first the 20 minutes seems like forever, but after a couple of weeks, it's over in no time.

Time - Sometimes no matter how good your systems are, mental/emotional depression and burnout are no different that a cut, or broken bone. They need time, and no modern technology will accelerate it past the bodies maximum rate of healing.

Be patient, don't beat yourself up about not being productive, or positive, it's okay to feel like shit, or nothing at all, you win by not giving up, no matter how long it takes.

You're going to be okay.

You do have a huge amount of stress in your life. Plenty of people would break down under half that. (Seriously, suppose it was one sexual assault and the breakup. That is enough to fuck a lot of people up.)

I can't tell whether you already know this stuff. If so you can skip this paragraph:

If I came into my therapist's office and told her I had your symptoms, she would tell me that I had anxiety and depression from all the stress I was carrying around. I know this because I've already done it. I didn't want to do it because I didn't want to think of myself as crazy (mental illness has a lot of stigma attached to it), so I resisted for a year or two. But eventually my problems got serious enough that I couldn't deal with them any other way. Waiting caused me a lot of trouble. I'm still pissed that I can't get those years back.

I've never had PTSD, so I don't know what a therapist would say about your symptoms. But I do know PTSD is treatable, as are anxiety and depression. The treatments aren't as easy as taking a pill (though the option is there). They work slowly, and they're process-oriented, so they discourage you from asking when do I get better? But the time does come when you feel normal again.

A few pieces of random advice:

- Stop working until you get this sorted out. Mental health issues tend to take away your ability to introspect. You could get worse without realizing it, cause a lot of problems for your employer, maybe get fired and have a black mark on your record.

- You may not want to tell your employer why you're leaving. I don't know what the culture is like in Toronto, but in the US people can get a little strange about mental illness. Unless you get special mental health benefits or something (and maybe even then) it's a good idea to just say "personal issues" when they ask you why you're leaving.

- You say you have a medical person. In the US medical people dispense drugs and see you once every month or two. Therapists see you every week, and they help you solve the majority of your problems. If it's an option, find a therapist that you like. You may have to sit through a couple of duds. My therapist is the primary reason I'm healthy today.

- Understand that one possible endgame here is a breakdown where you suddenly can't work or screw something up catastrophically (I've been there too :-). Try to be graceful about it, but one way or another you should put everything down so you can focus on getting better.

- my email's in my profile if you want to talk.