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Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

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Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#131

Post by elfexec »

justinclift wrote: post #130
elfexec wrote: post #129

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The people who've contacted me (via email) to say positive things I've generally taken at face value about . That's good to hear, but what else do you expect them to say? You put them on the spot and I suspect 99% of the people would be polite. > Maybe I just don't feel people are being weird/creepy when they thank me for the effort I've put into things? If you didn't think it was weird/creepy, why are you here try…

> That's good to hear, but what else do you expect them to say? You put them on the spot and I suspect 99% of the people would be polite. Did you read too fast or something? I'm talking about people who's emailed me out of the blue. > If you didn't think it was weird/creepy, why are you here trying to get validation? Huh? What are you even talking about? What "trying to get validation"? I was saying that people who'v…

> Did you read too fast or something? I'm talking about people who's emailed me out of the blue.

Sorry, I did.

> Huh? What are you even talking about?

Your post. The purpose of your post. If you didn't think it was weird, why would you seek validation here?

> You don't seem to understand how to communicate via text, and seem to misinterpret things in bizarre ways, and/or put people down.

Text? I thought you said email?

> Meet who?

I was very specific in my comment.

> Distributed teams are a thing. ;)

Oh you didn't mention people you were currently working with. Your post made it seem like just random people in your past. Of course thanking people you work with for their help and contribution is normal and appreciated.

> Sounds like your life is lived very differently, and you just can't relate. No worries. ;)

Maybe. If it works, just keep doing you. Why even bother seeking validation?

If people are contacting you out of the blue and you are contacting people out of the blue, then it's a norm for you so why bother asking here? Seems strange, that's all.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#132

Post by r_edwards »

In a Christmas card this year, I learned of the death of an old friend that was very influential to me when I was a teenager. I hadn't spoken to him in at least a decade. With some hesitation, I wrote his widow about how much impact his generous gift of his time and his friendship had on me. She wrote back a very thoughtful and gracious note saying she was saving the note to share with their young children when they were younger. So a positive ending, but I still wish I had done that when he was still with us. If this thread brings anyone in your life to mind immediately, don't wait. Give them that feedback while it's with you.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#133

Post by muzani »

I did this all the time. Back in the day, it was called fan mail. I've received a few too, and they were quite flattering. Many of these led somewhere. One even led to a successful startup. Sometimes it's just a good pen pal for a few months.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#134

Post by rajapanidepu »

Something similar, last year I have explored meeting new people and learning from them. Hopefully, at the end of this year, I will have list of people who had a positive impact in my life. https://medium.com/@raja.panidepu/takeaway-from-2019-lets-ge...

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#135

Post by tehlike »

I do this often, both in corporate context and in real life.

There is a data analysis tool named Powerdrill at google. It is one of the most useful tools i have used, and its impact on the progress of people's projects was huge. It makes data slicing and analysis a breeze, and it always was somewhat implicit that we use it, but we dont think about the work went into it.

I asked around to find one of the key guys/initiators. I sent him a message saying a lot of engineers are very thankful for the tool, and it created huge impact. Another friend who sit close to him pinged me the same day, and told me "you made his day". Hearing this made my day, too...

From that day on, i try to send people email praising them for a nontrivial work they do good on. I hate group praise, especially when people have no idea what is being done or who is doing it but still respond saying how hard of a work that must have been. This personal email means much much more to receiving side.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#136

Post by matt_the_bass »

I think this is great! I’ve done this a bit and have also been on the receiving end in a few different ways:

- I was in a pretty popular local band 20 years ago. I still get recognized now and then and people share how much they liked the band. It’s pretty amazing to hear someone remember I helped make them happy 20 years ago!

- at my day job we usually only hear from customers when there is a problem. It’s really hard to remember that most of our customers like our stuff. But they rarely reach out to tell us. However at trade shows we often meet customers in passing and the feedback is great (and moral boosting).

- I make wordclocks as a side hobby. After years of people telling my I should sell them, I finally started. Selling something I made is pretty gratifying. But the conversations from my Show HN [0] last year were awesome!

[0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18950130

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#137

Post by davidmott »

jacquesm wrote: post #20

Yes I do. I've made it a point to review periodically and to personally thank the people that have had a positive impact on my life rather than to wait until I'm at their funeral or I find out they've passed on. I've also credited them in some of my writings: https://jacquesmattheij.com/your-own-company-you-can-do-it/ Realizing that you need other people to get ahead and that some people will take a chance on you whe…

‘It will prepare you for the day when you can take a chance on someone.’

That is so true.

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#138

Post by yingw787 »

OJFord wrote: post #99
yingw787 wrote: post #89

Woah you inspire me! I have a habit in my habit tracker of reaching out to one person every week via email, mostly developers. I’ve gotten mixed success honestly. Maybe I should try your template, much more succinct than mine :)

What's 'success' here?

A reply :P

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#139

Post by danesparza »

JanisL wrote: post #30

I sometimes email open source authors to thank them for their efforts, I don't ask for anything, just an email to show gratification. I'm more inclined to go to this effort for the projects that are highly useful but not popular since as an author of such a project it is possible to have doubts if benefits from it when you go a long time with no outside feedback at all. The few times people have contacted us with pro…

I have personally emailed Mitchell Hashimoto (this guy: http://mitchellh.com/ ) to thank him for his awesome software.

He wrote me back, and was very gracious.

This is what it means to be human. Well done!

Re: Ask HN: Do you ever contact people who have had a positive impact on you?

#140

Post by SeattleCpp »

Forty years ago, I had a wonderful high school biology teacher. She let the geeky chess club hang out in her room after school, and taught some interesting classes. I TA'd for her my senior year.

Last year I found her on facebook, just retiring. I shared some good memories I had of her, and updated her on some classmates of mine who had gone on to good things (one MSCS, one CPA, one PhD, one MD). I said I could speak for all of them that she had been the best thing that had happened to us in high school.

Her response was lovely, she remembered us all, and was very appreciative of my contact.

She died of breast cancer only about three months later after a very long fight. I was pleased to have made her feel good about herself right there at the end.

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