ADHD, a Lifelong Struggle (2018)

- Be supportive and help him realize his strengths over time. - Keep an eye out for falling behind in schoolwork - Talk to his teachers about it

My mom really pushed for me to get extra support and I was diagnosed with a Learning Disability (auditory processing sucked, spatial cognition was low too) back in the 1980's, but when I was in my early 30's something"snapped" and I went in and got diagnosed as having ADHD which explained a lot to me.

I always felt that my parents supported me and have told me they "always thought I would turn out great" despite my school issues (Basically like the guy who wrote the original post - I wouldn't finish anything). They just did what they could to help me along, extra support from techers, tutors (although they didn't help much), hobbies, etc.

I think the hardest hing for my parents and teachers was seeing that I loved computers, but couldn't do anything with computers without math, which I detested. Product Managers weren't very well known positions back then :) In the end, I have had a 12+ year career as a PM, and my ADHD is a pain everyday. But, I was able to do it because I always felt like my parents believed in me, even when they know I can't do my laundry.

Agreed.

I guess where it becomes a problem is when we try to find the most suitable treatment for it. I know from experience that these labels can dictate the whole treatment plan in public hospitals/clinics without much further investigation whether that label's approved standard treatment plan really is suitable for your particular case or not.

Everything in this article is correct, at least for me.

I got fired for performance at my last job about 2.75 years ago. The first two years of working there I had great performance reviews, things went well. It was a high performing YC-backed success story, and I felt just as successful. I was promoted to Lead QA Engineer, and oversaw several projects going at once that I was interested in.

About two years in, it started going south when I lost my Adderall prescription. Eventually I got fired. It was devastating, and the best job I ever had.

I guess after some change at Kaiser Permanente, my primary care doctor was no longer able to write me Adderall. He sent me to psychiatry, which at Kaiser is less than stellar.

Psychiatrist said that unless I can provide proof from elementary school or doctors from my childhood, he’s going to have to reevaluate me; from the looks of what he said I might not get a diagnosis. Offered me Wellbutrin. The entire visit was a slap in the face. He thought I was there to get stimulants because I have a drug problem.

Indeed! I do have a drug problem in that no longer am being prescribed the drugs that make me function. I never abused drugs.

Even after talking to a manager, Kaiser refuses let me switch psychiatrists. This was about 2.5 years ago. It took me two months even get an appointment with that Dr; only to have him tell me get lost.

Meanwhile, I’ve been doing the best I can given the situation. ADHD Affects me greatly and I’ve lost so much since then.

For one, disorganization resulted in me missing out on exercising my stock options. I thought I had three months, it was 90 days. Missed it by a day!

This was problematic because the company was purchased by Autodesk about a year after I got fired. Would’ve been a nice liquidity event. ($600K)

I’m still falling incredibly short. I have a lot of trauma around getting fired and feeling like I am insufficient. I have not even applied for a job since leaving. Once unemployment ran out I started ridesharing; i’m doing that off and on for about two years. It barely pays rent but better than being broke and homeless in San Francisco.

Today, it’s a struggle to stay relevant. I have pretty much given up on finding a psychiatrist in San Francisco as they all appear booked for months. I have found success in self medication although it’s harder to find therapeutic pharmaceuticals then street drugs; not a viable alternative for me.

I’m sort of losing interest in tech. I find enjoyment in many things technical but cannot seem to get myself together. Thinking without finishing my college degree, no relevant work for the last 2 1/2 years, and no treatment for my condition; nobody will want to hire me. Even if they did I am not sure I’d be able to be successful.

Where am I at now? Still ridesharing, trying to make ends meet. My resume is almost rewritten, I have looked at some jobs but not applied for any yet. My world has gotten a little bit smaller than I would like.

Absolutely I need some more structure than what I have.

I was somewhat recently diagnosed with ADD and the diagnosis has truly changed my life. I, for the first time, in roughly 12 years of writing software professionally, am able finish a project enough to open source it-- and I am days away from being able to do so. It feels insanely good. Like something I've only dreamed of as silly as that is, and I don't even care if folks use it (it's not that good), but it's the fact I have even been able to do so...

For years when I would sit down to work I would go into an endless loop consisting of roughly three-four websites, almost back to back, where it was driven by muscle memory anytime something distracted me. I would almost like "wake up" finding myself in this endless loop.

On good days, I would look like an insanely talented and driven engineer, on bad days, I would look like the laziest piece of shit folks could know. It wasn't by choice, it wasn't because I was trying to "cowboy" or "rockstar" a single fucking thing, it's because that's how my attention span worked (or didn't rather).

"Smart and lazy" is almost an insult to me now, because its a moniker put on folks who are probably having trouble with something and "lazy" is rarely positive (even when its supposed to be). It kept me from believing I might have ADD for years despite tons of signs.

The downsides are of course that people don't believe you, or judge you for it (I switched pharmacies because they were treating my like shit when I would go to pickup my ADD meds)... but the upside, as the author said, is you have a life back you didn't know you were missing. You can choose to read a book, watch a movie, program, etc. you're not longer just forced into a vapid reflexivity of the world around you.

It's not a useful truth, at least not in the way you've characterized it. The way you characterize it says more about a misunderstanding of scientific knowledge in general, but especially medical science.

Age 10 is roughly when children begin to realize that their parents, and adults in general, can be as fallible and ignorant as children. It can be a shocking revelation, but eventually you move past it. But some people's response is to develop a deep cynicism about what maturity means, which can stunt their own maturity. (Notably, we all tend to feel like it's a deeply personal revelation that gives us unique insight--like we're more mature than others for having the revelation. But it's a whole different revelation to realize and appreciate that everybody goes through this phase.)

It can also be a shocking revelation when you learn that in science in general, but especially in medical science, the things we don't know are unfathomably more numerous than the things we [believe we] know with certainty. But just because we don't fully comprehend a phenomenon doesn't mean we can't develop useful knowledge about the phenomenon, and to develop reliable treatments (medicine) or processes (chemistry, engineering). Were it otherwise progress would be impossible. Science is a process, not a product.

Of course, just like adults who became cynical at age 10, there are professionals in all domains who harbor cynicism stemming from their educational revelations. It's not healthy. The extreme ones may say things like, "it's all a lie", but the lie is on them.

When people go to a medical professional for help, they don't need to know the messy details. Some people might benefit, but others might react poorly. What they expect (knowingly or not) is to be given medical advice that already incorporates the unknowns; that already takes into account the fact that something is not well understood. The same is true for every other profession.

FWIW, the term Downs Syndrome comes from before the cause was known. Today people often use the term trisomy 21, perhaps because of the cultural baggage related to the older term, but also because strictly speaking it's no longer a syndrome. There are other trisomies, like trisomy 18.