The amount of focus and effort required in building a startup is incredible, but molecular chemistry is a tough adversary that doesn't fight fair. I'm curious how others have dealt with similar situations. Really love to read some war stories. Anyone?
Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
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Re: Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
#2I've done it, and come through the other side with the love of my life. ^_^
Re: Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
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#6Enjoy it! Looks to me like it's helping.
Re: Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
#7Re: Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
#8These things are not mutually exclusive. If you take an all or nothing view, you're being naive. You can have some percentage of a solid relationship and career (whether a startup or something else).
Life is messy. You'll have to decide if your relationship allows you enough time to meet your personal goals and if that even matters. Only you can make this determination.
As for me, I've been with my wife for over 10 years (most of it dating), and... honestly? I think this relationship has had an adverse effect on my goals. I, kind of, think I'd be much more rich and successful had I never met my wife. On the other hand, when she's gone for a weekend, I always think, "I'll get so much done when she's gone"... but, I often end up mired in the "blahs" until she returns. And, honestly...
I think I've slowed down a lot as I've gotten older. I think back on things I accomplished in 3 week coding marathons when I was in college and, while I think I'm a better programmer now... well, I don't repeat those accomplishments. I get more done in less time, but I'm not able to sustain a marathon for multiple weeks. You may be different, or that might be part of getting older.
Ultimately, I've been moderately successful (my business represents the bulk of our income), but not wildly successful. I've come to think less is more... and, I'm happy with that. I doubt I'd be happier single with a larger business and more money.
But that's me...
Re: Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
#9New love and startups have about the same failure rate. No?
Re: Ask HN: Hackers falling in love
#10As a woman who sees these young entrepreneurs in their twenties who routinely put work before relationships, I am sometimes dismayed. I've wondered more than once if their growth as men is being stunted. I suspect the stories of sacrificing love on the altar of your startup and the pain involved in doing so are just the stories you don't hear. New love and startups have about the same failure rate. No?