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YouTube Gives Us Love Without the Messiness

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Re: YouTube Gives Us Love Without the Messiness

#41

Post by endothrowho333 »

CathedralBorrow wrote: post #20
keiferski wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That isn’t what I said, at all. Pets are awesome. But they aren’t replacements for human connection.

And if someone tells you that it is for them, will you inform them that they are wrong to feel that way?

No, because remaining polite is important.

But I will make a mental note of it, and infer that said person was socialized improperly (f.e poor family life, severe bullying, inability to form strong bonds, unstable or has no non-surface relationships with other people), and thereby stay away.

I don't in anyway mean to offend, and I am certain the other would reply with "I don't want such a judgemental person in my life, anyway."

Re: YouTube Gives Us Love Without the Messiness

#42

Post by humanrebar »

watwut wrote: post #29
humanrebar wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You overstate a little. Both require overlapping responsibilities from the head of the household. Both, for example, require someone to be home to feed them (and take care of other biological needs) every day. The amount of effort for a child is much higher, but having a pet or a child both make it impossible to catch an impromptu flight to Vegas or pull an all nighter at work. And, yes, that does require some emotio…

I did not said pets don't fill any needs, I said they are completely different then what you get with children. For cat, you can put enough food to bowl and have someone else wisit a day after to change it. You can absolutely pull all nighters with cat. The cat will be fine. Less so with dog if you are single, but walking dog is still incomparable to all the interaction that goes on with kid - even on playground.

> I have children and had pet and I can tell you that those two are [not] comparable in any way.

I was replying to this.

> You can absolutely pull all nighters with cat. The cat will be fine.

Your couch or mattress may be ruined, though, depending on the cat.

Re: YouTube Gives Us Love Without the Messiness

#43

Post by keiferski »

AQuantized wrote: post #36
keiferski wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don’t know if you’re looking for an actual discussion or just prowling around for opportunities to link to logical fallacies. Assuming the best intentions... My question stands: what does research mean in this case? Are you looking for a scientific study which confirms or denies that “difficulty is more authentic?” It is a question beyond the purview of science. The arguments for such a view would be found in philo…

Not that I necessarily agree that espousing your viewpoint requires research , but it might be constituted by studies showing correlations with more difficult but meaningful lives and long term contentedness/happiness, or with traits we generally see as positive, such as honesty.

It would be a circular exercise. Defining what is considered positive, for example contentedness, is itself a culture-specific value. There are and have been plenty of cultures which consider other values more important. Even then, defining happiness is itself not a scientific endeavor.

Ultimately you end up at philosophy or religion.

Re: YouTube Gives Us Love Without the Messiness

#44

Post by jon_akimbo »

watwut wrote: post #19
keiferski wrote: post #13

A similar phenomenon is the use of pets as pseudo-children or relationship partners. Babies are expensive and ruin your sleep for years. Significant others can cheat on you, leave or simply get boring. A cat, however, just like these YouTube boyfriends, is fairly inexpensive, practically takes care of itself, will always love you and will never leave. It is a sort of infantalization of the relationship process. I thi…

Cat does not love you. It never leaves, cause you locked it. If you move away, cat prefers to stay. Treating children like pets would be effectively emotional abuse. And while dog can fill some of yours emotional needs, quite frankly, kids won't. I have children and had pet and I can tell you that those two are comparable in any way. Not just in easy vs hard scale, but it is fundamentally different relationship.

I'm going to disagree with you on that first sentence.

It's likely that cats can sense your superior attitude toward them. As a result, they avoid bond-forming behaviors that require trust and vulnerability and mutual respect. Which in turn has reinforced your false idea that all cats are indifferent.

I've been very close with two cats. They followed me around everywhere in our house wherever I went, sat next to/on me at every opportunity, cuddled with me in bed every night, scratched furniture if I ignored them, waited for me at the door, called out when I wasn't home by a usual hour, and became visibly depressed (eating less, losing interest in play) when I would away on holiday for more than a day.

Re: YouTube Gives Us Love Without the Messiness

#45

Post by watwut »

endothrowho333 wrote: post #41
CathedralBorrow wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And if someone tells you that it is for them, will you inform them that they are wrong to feel that way?

No, because remaining polite is important. But I will make a mental note of it, and infer that said person was socialized improperly (f.e poor family life, severe bullying, inability to form strong bonds, unstable or has no non-surface relationships with other people), and thereby stay away. I don't in anyway mean to offend, and I am certain the other would reply with "I don't want such a judgemental person in my lif…

I would not stay away from someone because he was bullied or poor growing up. I find it wrong that someone would choose to further ostracise or marginalise or push away such person. You was bullied therefore I stay away? Wtf.

If such person would harming me or my kids, I would stay away. But not just because their life was tougher then mine.

Re: YouTube Gives Us Love Without the Messiness

#46

Post by hesarenu »

watwut wrote: post #19
keiferski wrote: post #13

A similar phenomenon is the use of pets as pseudo-children or relationship partners. Babies are expensive and ruin your sleep for years. Significant others can cheat on you, leave or simply get boring. A cat, however, just like these YouTube boyfriends, is fairly inexpensive, practically takes care of itself, will always love you and will never leave. It is a sort of infantalization of the relationship process. I thi…

Cat does not love you. It never leaves, cause you locked it. If you move away, cat prefers to stay. Treating children like pets would be effectively emotional abuse. And while dog can fill some of yours emotional needs, quite frankly, kids won't. I have children and had pet and I can tell you that those two are comparable in any way. Not just in easy vs hard scale, but it is fundamentally different relationship.

Don't know whether cat loves it's owner or not. But as long as you feed it would stay. Where i live people don't lock cats but they do stay.

Re: YouTube Gives Us Love Without the Messiness

#47

Post by netcan »

"The medium is the message" is one of my favourite cliches. It always punctuates the same recurring insight.

Socrates' had famous thoughts on the importance of medium choices in his day: reading, writing and libraries or people in gardens trading questions and answers and using memory.

The choice of medium isn't neutral. Imagine 5 people in a garden talking about their feelings, political views, or whatever. Alternatively, imagine them writing essays, making youtube videos or discussing on a HN thread or creating a wiki... same topic, same people.

The content would be totally different. The thoughts that people shared (or even had) would be different. The perspectives, emphasis and everything else about the content would be different.

The internet is like a queen-medium. It spawns an endless brood of different mediums, digital and otherwise. Twitter, Tinder, Meetup, Youtube... and thousands of smaller ones. Not one of them is a good "replacement" for another type of medium, but they do replace them.

I agree with the jist of this article, I think.

Where internet "mediums" replace important personal ones, we're at risk of replacing "home-cooking" with "junk food," and the results will be the same.

Re: YouTube Gives Us Love Without the Messiness

#48

Post by michaelt »

CathedralBorrow wrote: post #20
keiferski wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That isn’t what I said, at all. Pets are awesome. But they aren’t replacements for human connection.

And if someone tells you that it is for them, will you inform them that they are wrong to feel that way?

A cat is a replacement for a child in the same way a electric kick scooter is a replacement for a truck.

Re: YouTube Gives Us Love Without the Messiness

#49

Post by LocalH »

YouTube’s debacle regarding COPPA is becoming a train wreck, however. Thousands of animated videos that are very clearly not for kids (violent or other adult content) are nonetheless being marked as such. They really just need to split YouTube into three platforms - YouTube, YouTube Kids, and YouTube Mature.

Re: YouTube Gives Us Love Without the Messiness

#50

Post by nullifidian »

jon_akimbo wrote: post #44
watwut wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Cat does not love you. It never leaves, cause you locked it. If you move away, cat prefers to stay. Treating children like pets would be effectively emotional abuse. And while dog can fill some of yours emotional needs, quite frankly, kids won't. I have children and had pet and I can tell you that those two are comparable in any way. Not just in easy vs hard scale, but it is fundamentally different relationship.

I'm going to disagree with you on that first sentence. It's likely that cats can sense your superior attitude toward them. As a result, they avoid bond-forming behaviors that require trust and vulnerability and mutual respect. Which in turn has reinforced your false idea that all cats are indifferent. I've been very close with two cats. They followed me around everywhere in our house wherever I went, sat next to/on m…

>cats can sense your superior attitude toward them. As a result, they avoid bond-forming behaviors that require trust and vulnerability and mutual respect.

cats can trust and respect? I think it's a mistake to anthropomorphize animals to this degree.

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