Women now make up the majority of the U.S. labor force • Hacker News Board

Re: Women now make up the majority of the U.S. labor force

#201

Post by tomxor » Fri, Jan 10, 2020, 9:45 PM UTC

mywittyname wrote: post #150

magduf wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>perhaps in ways that men are expected to seem "confident" or "strong" or "independent" which I think can be stiffing. Yep, and women demand this too: many women's dating profiles talk about how they want a guy who's "confident but not cocky", who "makes a plan" for dates, who "takes the lead", etc. Basically, American women want hyper-masculine men who look like George Clooney (when younger), but then they sit aroun…

> Men basically have the choice of either a stuffy suit that look like it hasn't changed in a century and is completely impractical, or baggy pants and a baggy hoody. I don't wear either of these on a daily basis, nor my birthday suit, and people think that I dress nice. Men have a plethora of clothing options that are stylish, comfortable, and appropriate for work situations. I'm currently wearing slacks that are de…

I duno, what you say sounds right but my experience seems to be the opposite, i can never find anything that fits in physical shops, everything seems to be stocked for either obese or tall people, i'm slim and on the shorter side (but not very short)... alternatively perhaps I just expect shopping to actually be efficient, i hate spending ages shopping, but perhaps frequency is the only way you can find a good fit... and the only thing I have managed to figure out so far is that fit is important.

My theory right now is simply that on average women have the will power to spend enough time and energy on the task regardless... men might have the desire to look good, but when faced with the reality of time and money required to achieve it say fuck no, it doesn't hold their interest enough.

Re: Women now make up the majority of the U.S. labor force

#202

Post by somebodythere » Fri, Jan 10, 2020, 9:46 PM UTC

magduf wrote: post #107

danbolt wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's very true. We definitely are more lenient towards people in different ways depending on their gender, and there are a lot of relaxed social expectations that men have compared to women. Still though, I think there are dimensions of this where this is less true, perhaps in ways that men are expected to seem "confident" or "strong" or "independent" which I think can be stiffing. The typical men's section of a cl…

>perhaps in ways that men are expected to seem "confident" or "strong" or "independent" which I think can be stiffing. Yep, and women demand this too: many women's dating profiles talk about how they want a guy who's "confident but not cocky", who "makes a plan" for dates, who "takes the lead", etc. Basically, American women want hyper-masculine men who look like George Clooney (when younger), but then they sit aroun…

It is unfortunate that the range of clothing coded as masculine is not as expressive as the range coded as feminine.

What kinds of masculine-coded clothing articles would you like to see?

Re: Women now make up the majority of the U.S. labor force

#203

Post by earlINmeyerkeg » Fri, Jan 10, 2020, 9:47 PM UTC

watwut wrote: post #63

earlINmeyerkeg wrote: post #52

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That is probably the one part of the article they really should've made more prominent. Yet they didn't. They hammered it home that videogames and young men not getting married and having 12 kids is the problem. Maybe culturally getting married is incredibly more time consuming and difficult than it used to be? I mean I'm reading George Orwell's Burmese days and the main character was trying to propose (and the girl…

It did used to be normal to marry after extremely short time from our point of view. And divorce was harder. There were consequences for that through - partner who hate each other, violence, abuse (verbal, emotional, physical). Alcoholism.

I totally agree and don't think I'm idolizing the past. It's just a different world today and the culture has not caught up with reality.

Re: Women now make up the majority of the U.S. labor force

#204

Post by jedberg » Fri, Jan 10, 2020, 9:48 PM UTC

bonoboTP wrote: post #182

jedberg wrote: post #174

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, in the US, if you have a basement, it's most often finished or at least partially finished, with walls and insulation and so on. Teenagers often like to hang out there because it offers semi-private living. See TV shows like "That 70s Show" for a prime example.

Wow, here the basements usually only have stuff like washing machines, heating equipment and storage for all sorts of clutter and tools. I cannot imagine living in a windowless room, feels like a dungeon or torture room.

Most basements have small windows at the top and many have light wells, where the ground outside is dug away to allow light in (and to make a place for a ladder for fire safety).

Re: Women now make up the majority of the U.S. labor force

#205

Post by bluGill » Fri, Jan 10, 2020, 9:49 PM UTC

rjkennedy98 wrote: post #138

hadesenia wrote: post #120

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A lot of couples keep separate finances. Money is one of the biggest reasons couples split up, after all. While my boyfriend and I aren’t married, we do split our household contributions and pay from our own accounts. I think it is also interesting to study the money men and women bring separately into their relationship and how that plays into relationship dynamics.

I didn't say couples. I said married people. Married people BY LAW do not have separate finances. Your situation is completely different.

There is law and there is convention. I don't know what the legal status of our finances, but practically we have separate finances. Once in a while my wife spends more than her share con groceries and I transfer money to her account to make it up, but our accounts are in separate banks.

Re: Women now make up the majority of the U.S. labor force

#206

Post by earlINmeyerkeg » Fri, Jan 10, 2020, 9:49 PM UTC

magduf wrote: post #116

watwut wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It did used to be normal to marry after extremely short time from our point of view. And divorce was harder. There were consequences for that through - partner who hate each other, violence, abuse (verbal, emotional, physical). Alcoholism.

>There were consequences for that through - partner who hate each other, violence, abuse (verbal, emotional, physical). Alcoholism. Yeah, the people who pine for the "good old days" when people married for life always leave this part out.

Abusive MEN in particular. Especially radical christians where divorce is stigmatized. It's like they take it as a free pass to just be hateful person. Honestly my dad more than anything made marriage seem worse than it could be that I figured if that's the worst case scenario, hoping for the best isn't even worth the gamble.

Re: Women now make up the majority of the U.S. labor force

#207

Post by [deleted] » Fri, Jan 10, 2020, 9:52 PM UTC

hadesenia wrote: post #125

tomp wrote: post #97

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not "sexist history", it's just that men are better at (almost all) sports. Male football is simply more exciting to watch (I imagine, for broader audiences... it's boring to me, in general). For modeling, it's the reverse.

How is men’s soccer more exciting to watch rather than woman’s soccer? It’s literally people kicking a ball around. Does the ball explode if you are a man and kicking it?

[deleted]

Re: Women now make up the majority of the U.S. labor force

#208

Post by scarmig » Fri, Jan 10, 2020, 9:56 PM UTC

mywittyname wrote: post #150

magduf wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>perhaps in ways that men are expected to seem "confident" or "strong" or "independent" which I think can be stiffing. Yep, and women demand this too: many women's dating profiles talk about how they want a guy who's "confident but not cocky", who "makes a plan" for dates, who "takes the lead", etc. Basically, American women want hyper-masculine men who look like George Clooney (when younger), but then they sit aroun…

> Men basically have the choice of either a stuffy suit that look like it hasn't changed in a century and is completely impractical, or baggy pants and a baggy hoody. I don't wear either of these on a daily basis, nor my birthday suit, and people think that I dress nice. Men have a plethora of clothing options that are stylish, comfortable, and appropriate for work situations. I'm currently wearing slacks that are de…

> Men take for granted that we all are roughly the same shape, so most of us can shop at the same stores.

As a trim, broad-shouldered 5'2" guy, I had to laugh at your entire comment. I have literally never found a shirt or jacket that fits off the rack from... dozens? Hundreds? of different brands.

My bet is that you fall into a conventionally masculine body shape, and you universalize your own experience to all men.

Re: Women now make up the majority of the U.S. labor force

#209

Post by thewebcount » Fri, Jan 10, 2020, 10:00 PM UTC

anon9001 wrote: post #112

phkahler wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> What are men doing if not working? On disability? Homeless? Retiring earlier? Some are living in their parents basement until they're 30 to 40. It has been hypothesized that with the breakdown of families in the US, men are giving up, and that includes efforts to build a stable foundation for their family. See MGTOW but dont read too much, it can be kind of depressing.

> Some are living in their parents basement until they're 30 to 40. I understand this is considered a bad thing, and it makes sense at a societal level, but honestly it sounds like a pretty amazing life. Maybe that would have been boring and depressing pre-internet, but it seems pretty good now. I know one dude who essentially grifted his way into the disability system, and I've watched him go from an anxious mess to…

I'm trying something a little different. My sister-in-law almost became homeless for the 3rd time in a decade. The past 2 times friends have stepped in to house her for below-market rents, but got fed up with her after a few years each time. She did live with her father for about 6-months to a year the first time, as well.

My spouse and I are fairly well off, so we decided rather than let her flounder for another decade or two, we'll buy a 2-bedroom condo, rent it to her, and let her rent out the second bedroom to someone else to supplement her income. We're hoping that with the knowledge that she won't become homeless (we can support her if she fails to pay rent, but we would rather it doesn't come to that), and with the additional income, she can claw her way back to a normal situation.

The real problem is that her job simply doesn't pay enough to live on. She has 2 degrees so I would think she would be able to get a better job, but due to some mental illness, she's having a hard time doing it.

The truth is that my spouse and I don't really know what we're doing, but this seemed like a reasonable way to help and give her some independence. What she really needs is better mental healthcare, but unlike houses or rent money, that's not really easy to just give to someone.

Re: Women now make up the majority of the U.S. labor force

#210

Post by riversflow » Fri, Jan 10, 2020, 10:02 PM UTC

cmdshiftf4 wrote: post #188

anon9001 wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Some are living in their parents basement until they're 30 to 40. I understand this is considered a bad thing, and it makes sense at a societal level, but honestly it sounds like a pretty amazing life. Maybe that would have been boring and depressing pre-internet, but it seems pretty good now. I know one dude who essentially grifted his way into the disability system, and I've watched him go from an anxious mess to…

>Maybe we need an acceptable way for people who can't mentally handle work to be able to exist in society. I initially felt on-the-fence about this but upon further thought I absolutely disagree with the idea. Society works and thrives when we've a common goal (all working to make things slightly better for everyone one bit at a time) and honest reciprocal agreements as one. I am happy to partake in a society where t…

Holy privilege Batman!

> unless safeguards were put in place to ensure their malignant genes stopped with them at the end of their days.

As if it’s their genetics and not their disenfranchisement from society that makes them want to drop out. We allow cheap foreign labor to displace these people, if we had stricter immigration I can guarantee that there would be less people in poverty, business would have to pay more to incentivize people to work there.

And we hardly help men “pick themselves back up”.

>you get what you put in.

lol, that’s a good one, I’m sure the Koch brothers would agree.

Plenty of people put in a lot and don’t get much back. Just because life worked out great for you—you put in effort and saw a return—doesn’t mean it works that way for everyone. I personally worked my ass off for 5 years and then got screwed out of my work by people with more money.

>voter rights

Am I getting trolled? You seriously want to associate voting rights with employment? Here I thought we left those sorts of attitudes in the last century.