101–110 of 231 posts
What’s the incentive for attractive people? Why would you voluntarily give up a competitive advantage in a highly competitive market? If you’re ugly like me this is great.
Being attractive brings its own host of problems when it comes to finding a mate, especially if you are looking for someone you really relate to at a high level rather than someone who just scratches some primal itches.
There might be value in a dating site for really ugly people, but it's niche at best.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
Can you expand? I'd like to learn more about this. Ok Cupid used to publish lots of interesting blog posts, so I'm assuming you got that from one, but I can't find it. Do you have a link?
I wonder if the old blog posts are even still up. After they were bought by Match Group, all those experiments stopped, and the site became one with the borg. It's depressing that one shitty corporation, controls every fucking dating site, and has the money to buy pretty much any competitor at this point.
[0] https://www.reddit.com/r/gwern/comments/aapn1l/okcupid_blog_...
In 1 month: Dating Site Without Pictures, But With Voice Recording In 3 months: Dating Site With Pictures, But Only Of Eyes In 6 months: Dating Site With Pictures, Eyes and Nose In 12 months: name change to ohmymember.com (adult site)
I’ve thought about this a lot. I think it’s important that dating people match based on relative attractiveness, health, energy level, tidiness, age/maturity, mental attitude, goals and standard of living. Also, dating sites should facilitate meeting, not pen-pals or “virtual” phony “relationships.” Perhaps a more palatable way to approach this is to legitimately screen/curate each applicant and rate them honestly so…
> Also, dating sites should facilitate meeting, not pen-pals or “virtual” phony “relationships.” This. So much this. Above all else. Playing the whole game of an online back-and-forth "relationship" before the first meeting is annoying and exhausting. Honestly, it feels like a complete waste of time as well. There will be a yay/nay decision made by at least one party, within the first FIVE MINUTES of that first in-pe…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I read it mostly as “sex with me comes highly recommended and I have desirable sperm.” But if you were looking for a relationship, I can see how that wouldn’t have felt as...victorious? I didn’t get that context from your original comment though. Anyway, good night.
I was lonely. But also way too angry for a relationship. So yeah, it was bittersweet. Also, said ex wife was professionally quite awesome, so I think that sort of rubbed off on me.
> "References: He was really nice to me, and one of the nicest guys I've ever dated. We had some issues with his parents not liking me, that eventually caused us to break up. but otherwise I'm envious of the next person who gets to be with him!" The juxtaposition between dating and references.. doesn't work, at least to me. I can't imagine actually writing this about an ex. Especially, curious as to the circumstance…
The problem though is that there's an incentive to game the system.
Hahaha this will never work for an obvious reason that isn't socially acceptable to state. As soon as looks get involved, it's over.
Why isn't it socially acceptable to state that looks are important? I feel like people are conflating "external appearance matters" and "external appearance is all that matters" and demonizing the former in their attempt to ward away the latter.
I applaud the attempt to innovate in the dating world which tends to be solely focused on looks. But sexual attraction is an important part of relationships, so going in blind is inherently risky (from a time utilization perspective). With old school blind dates, your date is friend/family selected so some level of filtering is already done for you. I guess a good portion of dates are disappointing anyway and there a…
There is also, unfortunately, a moral hazard associated with not having pictures. Such a site will probably tend to attract people who would not be glad to be judged by their appearance, other things being equal. For many, this would decrease the average utility.
Also, I would note that I know some very attractive women who do not put profile pictures on dating sites because they don't want to attract too much attention because of how they look. So this could mitigate the adverse selection problem.
When I first heard that some women did this, I started messaging women who had no pictures (or pictures that did not show what they looked like). Not long after, I met my wife, who would have been mobbed with messages had she put up a photo that showed what she actually looks like. I was the first and only person she dated online.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I wonder if the old blog posts are even still up. After they were bought by Match Group, all those experiments stopped, and the site became one with the borg. It's depressing that one shitty corporation, controls every fucking dating site, and has the money to buy pretty much any competitor at this point.
Somebody archived them here [0] [0] https://www.reddit.com/r/gwern/comments/aapn1l/okcupid_blog_...